Hey Dinosaur, Baby You're Prehistoric.
Transformers: Age of Extinction. 5th July 2014.
It’s a bad idea, but I’m all about bad ideas.
Following the big success of Dark of the Moon and the apparent departure of Michael Bay from the franchise, Paramount were faced with a difficult decision.
The films being big breakout hits had largely depended on them being first and foremost Michael Bay—a popular director with a very identifiable style—films rather than an old nostalgia property revived film. This meant they avoided a lot of the pratfalls that usually undid such films (see the G.I. Joe movies), but also makes it very hard to replace the director and bring someone new in.
And it would take a very bold studio to completely reinvent a film series that had just made a billion dollars.
So Paramount simply threw enough money (and agreed to make his Very Personal “Small” film Pain and Gain first) at Bay to persuade him to come back. A decision that paid-off on this movie as we once again have a billion dollar film. Effectively Dark of the Moon and Age of Extinction are the bookends to the absolute peak of the popularity of Transformers. Ever.
However, the fact the box-office starts to drop off drastically for the next film suggests for the first time audiences were becoming bored with the giant robots. Keeping the momentum going now the MCU had really taken off was always going to be tough (and for the first time there’s a sense of following trends rather than setting them), but certainly bringing back a director who has had his best shot at the series was perhaps not the healthiest idea long term.
It’s a bad idea, but I’m all about bad ideas.
Following the big success of Dark of the Moon and the apparent departure of Michael Bay from the franchise, Paramount were faced with a difficult decision.
The films being big breakout hits had largely depended on them being first and foremost Michael Bay—a popular director with a very identifiable style—films rather than an old nostalgia property revived film. This meant they avoided a lot of the pratfalls that usually undid such films (see the G.I. Joe movies), but also makes it very hard to replace the director and bring someone new in.
And it would take a very bold studio to completely reinvent a film series that had just made a billion dollars.
So Paramount simply threw enough money (and agreed to make his Very Personal “Small” film Pain and Gain first) at Bay to persuade him to come back. A decision that paid-off on this movie as we once again have a billion dollar film. Effectively Dark of the Moon and Age of Extinction are the bookends to the absolute peak of the popularity of Transformers. Ever.
However, the fact the box-office starts to drop off drastically for the next film suggests for the first time audiences were becoming bored with the giant robots. Keeping the momentum going now the MCU had really taken off was always going to be tough (and for the first time there’s a sense of following trends rather than setting them), but certainly bringing back a director who has had his best shot at the series was perhaps not the healthiest idea long term.
Optimus: Starting pissed. Getting more so.
I have an odd relationship with this film. When I saw it in the cinema, I loved it (as those of you that saw my YouTube video at time will remember). Then, on Blu Ray I was kind of horrified as to how awful it was. Then a third viewing in the run up to Last Knight had me kind of indifferent.
So as I sat down to watch it for this piece (in 4K this time), I had no real idea how I’d take it. I think it’s largely to do with the fact that this is a film with a lot of good ideas (and some very bad ones we’ll come to), but that also has a lethargy to it. It’s the first film in the series to really feel as long as it is and there’s definitely not the same energy and enthusiasm from Bay as there was previously (and to be fair, subsequently, whatever else is wrong with Last Knight, you can’t say he’s not chucking everything at it).
So let’s talk the good stuff first. The big one is that is this is probably the most thematically interesting of all the films. It was out for the thirtieth anniversary, and portrays the Transformers as yesterday’s toys. Battered, in hiding, supplanted by newer and shinier robots we get actual “This is so much cooler than Bumblebee” PR videos about.
As a meta commentary on the ebbing and flowing of brands, it’s actually quite clever.
It’s also a film that has become incredibly jaded about American politics. In the first film, Bush being useless was a joke. In the third, Obama was a lovable kind of guy giving out medals that Sam could be proud of having received.
But by 2014, there was a real sense of disappointment in him and his not having managed to achieve any of the things that everyone had felt would come after he was voted in on such a wave of popularity. The Tony Blair factor amplified by a 1000, and something that would help cultivate the living nightmare we are now going through come the 2016 election.
So as I sat down to watch it for this piece (in 4K this time), I had no real idea how I’d take it. I think it’s largely to do with the fact that this is a film with a lot of good ideas (and some very bad ones we’ll come to), but that also has a lethargy to it. It’s the first film in the series to really feel as long as it is and there’s definitely not the same energy and enthusiasm from Bay as there was previously (and to be fair, subsequently, whatever else is wrong with Last Knight, you can’t say he’s not chucking everything at it).
So let’s talk the good stuff first. The big one is that is this is probably the most thematically interesting of all the films. It was out for the thirtieth anniversary, and portrays the Transformers as yesterday’s toys. Battered, in hiding, supplanted by newer and shinier robots we get actual “This is so much cooler than Bumblebee” PR videos about.
As a meta commentary on the ebbing and flowing of brands, it’s actually quite clever.
It’s also a film that has become incredibly jaded about American politics. In the first film, Bush being useless was a joke. In the third, Obama was a lovable kind of guy giving out medals that Sam could be proud of having received.
But by 2014, there was a real sense of disappointment in him and his not having managed to achieve any of the things that everyone had felt would come after he was voted in on such a wave of popularity. The Tony Blair factor amplified by a 1000, and something that would help cultivate the living nightmare we are now going through come the 2016 election.
Not the scariest Lockdown after all.
So now Obama is at best an oblivious idiot, at worst entirely complicit in the CIA having genocidal death squads assassinating “aliens” on American soil. With a scary name like Cemetery Wind. Led by a frankly terrifying Kelsey Grammer, giving one of the few completely straight performances in the entire series. At the end, when Optimus shoots Grammer to save Cade, the message is emphatic: This Machine Kills Fascists. And that’s a good thing, especially in 2020.
It also means Optimus, who is very much the focus of this film (poster boy for the series Bumblebee doesn’t even appear for close to an hour), gets a good arc. Going from jaded and feeling redundant to finding renewed faith in humanity despite their betrayals and being prepared to confront his own God at the end.
The film also comes close to saying something pretty brutal about Elon Musk in the character of Joyce. A billionaire who has built his empire on stolen work and doesn’t care who or what gets hurt in his grab for glory.
Sadly, unlike the pre-emptive attack on Trump in Dark of the Moon, it misses the landing by having Joyce inexplicably going from a bastard who will talk sass to Optimus Prime to a lovable cowardly good guy once they get to Hong Kong. A city that is virtually destroyed because of him, but everyone ignores this at the end.
Away from the thematic stuff, what this movie does incredibly well is creating the best developed team of Autobots since the first film. Arguably of the entire series. New boys Crosshairs, Drift and Hound are all caricatures, but they’re fun caricatures and each has a couple of nice big defining moments to help them feel much more like people than the walking furniture several of the new Autobots in the previous two films did.
Bumblebee remains great value even with a reduced role and even Ratchet makes a memorable impression in his cameo death scene.
The Decepticons don’t do as well. Galvatron feels like a contractual obligation (you don’t really notice Frank Welker is now doing the voice and he once again escapes the end of a film by just... walking away) and the other troops are just there to be new and imposing in the face of the old and creaky Autobots. It doesn’t help the Transformium morphing for their changing shape is one of the few effects failures in the series.
It also means Optimus, who is very much the focus of this film (poster boy for the series Bumblebee doesn’t even appear for close to an hour), gets a good arc. Going from jaded and feeling redundant to finding renewed faith in humanity despite their betrayals and being prepared to confront his own God at the end.
The film also comes close to saying something pretty brutal about Elon Musk in the character of Joyce. A billionaire who has built his empire on stolen work and doesn’t care who or what gets hurt in his grab for glory.
Sadly, unlike the pre-emptive attack on Trump in Dark of the Moon, it misses the landing by having Joyce inexplicably going from a bastard who will talk sass to Optimus Prime to a lovable cowardly good guy once they get to Hong Kong. A city that is virtually destroyed because of him, but everyone ignores this at the end.
Away from the thematic stuff, what this movie does incredibly well is creating the best developed team of Autobots since the first film. Arguably of the entire series. New boys Crosshairs, Drift and Hound are all caricatures, but they’re fun caricatures and each has a couple of nice big defining moments to help them feel much more like people than the walking furniture several of the new Autobots in the previous two films did.
Bumblebee remains great value even with a reduced role and even Ratchet makes a memorable impression in his cameo death scene.
The Decepticons don’t do as well. Galvatron feels like a contractual obligation (you don’t really notice Frank Welker is now doing the voice and he once again escapes the end of a film by just... walking away) and the other troops are just there to be new and imposing in the face of the old and creaky Autobots. It doesn’t help the Transformium morphing for their changing shape is one of the few effects failures in the series.
When Dinosaurs ruled the Earth.
Which is a shame as the idea is actually great, taking away what kids love about the toy: How they actually transform. It makes them feel that bit more soulless and corporate.
That’s made up for by Lockdown however. Mark Ryan might just be doing his Jetfire voice, but the character looks fantastic, gets to be nicely imposing and—unusually for this series—has a simple and easy to understand motivation. He’s a bounty hunter hired to collect Prime. As the film’s actual McGuffin of The Seed feels rather redundant, it’s nice to have a villain who is doing a job in a fairly pragmatic way.
I also love how the alliance between him and Cemetery Wind plays out as well. Two groups of villains who make a deal and follow through on it with no betrayal or double crossing between them. If Prime hadn’t escaped from Lockdown’s ship, the bounty hunter would have just cheerfully left, his work done.
The Dinobots are the other new, and heavily promoted element. People did complain that they appear too little in the film to justify how heavily they were featured in advertising, but I think they give a much needed boost to the last half hour after things had began to drag badly. Optimus Prime riding a giant dinosaur into battle is an amazing visual, and they help ensure the film actually has a pretty strong climax.
But then we move onto the negatives. The big structural one is that going back to Chicago and doing another big epic battle there is redundant after the previous film did it so well. If KSI had just been doing all their secret work in Hong Kong anyway and the Autobots had gone straight there once assembled, the film would be a lot more streamlined and shorter.
It doesn’t help that the big climbing down wires sequence isn’t great either. Despite rallying around for the climax, the film never really recovers from this lengthy languid period.
The other issue is the humans. As mentioned, Kelsey Grammer is brilliant, and Stanley Tucci is enough of a pro to be good value even with a character whose entire personality changes for no reason in the last act.
That’s made up for by Lockdown however. Mark Ryan might just be doing his Jetfire voice, but the character looks fantastic, gets to be nicely imposing and—unusually for this series—has a simple and easy to understand motivation. He’s a bounty hunter hired to collect Prime. As the film’s actual McGuffin of The Seed feels rather redundant, it’s nice to have a villain who is doing a job in a fairly pragmatic way.
I also love how the alliance between him and Cemetery Wind plays out as well. Two groups of villains who make a deal and follow through on it with no betrayal or double crossing between them. If Prime hadn’t escaped from Lockdown’s ship, the bounty hunter would have just cheerfully left, his work done.
The Dinobots are the other new, and heavily promoted element. People did complain that they appear too little in the film to justify how heavily they were featured in advertising, but I think they give a much needed boost to the last half hour after things had began to drag badly. Optimus Prime riding a giant dinosaur into battle is an amazing visual, and they help ensure the film actually has a pretty strong climax.
But then we move onto the negatives. The big structural one is that going back to Chicago and doing another big epic battle there is redundant after the previous film did it so well. If KSI had just been doing all their secret work in Hong Kong anyway and the Autobots had gone straight there once assembled, the film would be a lot more streamlined and shorter.
It doesn’t help that the big climbing down wires sequence isn’t great either. Despite rallying around for the climax, the film never really recovers from this lengthy languid period.
The other issue is the humans. As mentioned, Kelsey Grammer is brilliant, and Stanley Tucci is enough of a pro to be good value even with a character whose entire personality changes for no reason in the last act.
Our new hero.
Mark Wahlberg, as our new lead Cade, is an actor who knows his lane and rarely steps outside it, so his performance is technically fine. And the idea of completely reversing the type of character he is from Sam is a smart one (instead of the nerd who wants to be a jock, you’ve got a jock who desperately want to be a nerd). But it is dubious to have a guy convicted of a hate crime chasing a black woman about with a baseball bat and he is constantly, unremittingly, angry at everything.
He’s also abusively controlling of his daughter, and his obvious arc of learning he needs to treat her like an adult becomes learning to let another man make all the decisions for her.
Nicola Peltz likely had the deck stacked against her as said daughter Tessa, but unfortunately she gives the weakest performance of any lead woman in the series.
But that’s avoiding the big elephant in the room. And to skirt around it for a second longer, it’s bizarre how both Sophia Myles and Bingbing Li are basically playing exactly the same character. I get the need for a Chinese lead to secure the Hong Kong filming, but why not have Li be Joyce’s sole reluctant assistant/ex? It means Myles just sort of hangs about once they get to Hong Kong, before arbitrarily just walking off at one point, never to be seen again.
Well, OK then. Jack Raynor’s Shane. Who for starters, despite being played by an Irish actor, has an appalling Irish accent. From the way it changes from scene to scene I’d suggest it’s not a case that his natural accent has shifted from living in America, but that for whatever director mandated reason he’s trying to do a (more understandable to US audiences?) faux accent that’s atrocious.
And yes.
The Romeo and Juliet law scene. Where, upon being accused of being a statutory rapist, immediately pulls out a card saying “I AM NOT A RAPIST NONCE”.
The fact he feels the need to have such a thing on him suggests he both gets accused of this a lot and that he actually is what he keeps insisting he’s not.
He’s also abusively controlling of his daughter, and his obvious arc of learning he needs to treat her like an adult becomes learning to let another man make all the decisions for her.
Nicola Peltz likely had the deck stacked against her as said daughter Tessa, but unfortunately she gives the weakest performance of any lead woman in the series.
But that’s avoiding the big elephant in the room. And to skirt around it for a second longer, it’s bizarre how both Sophia Myles and Bingbing Li are basically playing exactly the same character. I get the need for a Chinese lead to secure the Hong Kong filming, but why not have Li be Joyce’s sole reluctant assistant/ex? It means Myles just sort of hangs about once they get to Hong Kong, before arbitrarily just walking off at one point, never to be seen again.
Well, OK then. Jack Raynor’s Shane. Who for starters, despite being played by an Irish actor, has an appalling Irish accent. From the way it changes from scene to scene I’d suggest it’s not a case that his natural accent has shifted from living in America, but that for whatever director mandated reason he’s trying to do a (more understandable to US audiences?) faux accent that’s atrocious.
And yes.
The Romeo and Juliet law scene. Where, upon being accused of being a statutory rapist, immediately pulls out a card saying “I AM NOT A RAPIST NONCE”.
The fact he feels the need to have such a thing on him suggests he both gets accused of this a lot and that he actually is what he keeps insisting he’s not.
No one carries one of these who isn't a child molester.
It’s appalling. I don’t know what anyone involved was thinking. It’s comfortably the worst scene in any Transformers media. The moment that someone who really doesn’t like the films can immediately bring up to shut down any argument in their defence. It is the Jumping the Shark moment.
Which is a shame. Because outside of that, this film has the component elements to be the best one. But the languid pacing and some poorly chosen moments do hobble it, and without the verve and energy the previous two had those flaws aren’t hidden as they would have been previously.
This should definitely have been the last Michael Bay Transformers film. But, despite his protestations to the contrary, the fact this is the first one to set up sequels with its “Creator” subplot left unresolved (the MCU influence showing. Though at least the fourth film in a series has the right to be confident enough to try this, unlike many of the others that have failed at the first hurdle) made it pretty obvious that we’d be getting at least one more go round the block.
Which would result in a film that would, whatever else it is, not have the problem of being as just sort of there as this one.
But of course, Last Knight falls outside the remit of this project...
ISSUE 1
2014
COMMENT
KO-FI
Which is a shame. Because outside of that, this film has the component elements to be the best one. But the languid pacing and some poorly chosen moments do hobble it, and without the verve and energy the previous two had those flaws aren’t hidden as they would have been previously.
This should definitely have been the last Michael Bay Transformers film. But, despite his protestations to the contrary, the fact this is the first one to set up sequels with its “Creator” subplot left unresolved (the MCU influence showing. Though at least the fourth film in a series has the right to be confident enough to try this, unlike many of the others that have failed at the first hurdle) made it pretty obvious that we’d be getting at least one more go round the block.
Which would result in a film that would, whatever else it is, not have the problem of being as just sort of there as this one.
But of course, Last Knight falls outside the remit of this project...
ISSUE 1
2014
COMMENT
KO-FI
