It's Oh So Quiet, Oh So Still...
Issue 282: Kings of the Wild Frontier*/Shut Up! 4th August 1990.
And suddenly, with dreadful certainty, I knew I’ve messed up ba—DAAAAGH!
*As with Bird of Prey (remember that?!), I’m ignoring the Matrix Quest branding as the UK comic won’t be using it in the title of the rest of the story. Interestingly it’s been so long, the UK team have forgotten they removed the “Part 1” from the opening story and left “Part 2” intact here!
We get one of the most striking covers of the era this week from John Marshall and Pete Venters, with the looming figure of Bludgeon surrounded by spinning demon heads tormenting a dazed Inferno with his sword. Yes, it arguably ruins the ending of the British story, but its so abstract and horrific I think that’s a small price to pay. It’s certainly hard to imagine any kids seeing this in the newsagents passing up on it, which isn’t something that usually seems likely for a cover without any of the more recognisable big names on it.
You’ll also note that in the info box—where Powermaster Prime (heavily based on the cover to issue 177) has sat for some time—has suddenly changed to show a purple arm leaning in to push the Autobot leader out of the way. Hmm, what can this mean?
And suddenly, with dreadful certainty, I knew I’ve messed up ba—DAAAAGH!
*As with Bird of Prey (remember that?!), I’m ignoring the Matrix Quest branding as the UK comic won’t be using it in the title of the rest of the story. Interestingly it’s been so long, the UK team have forgotten they removed the “Part 1” from the opening story and left “Part 2” intact here!
We get one of the most striking covers of the era this week from John Marshall and Pete Venters, with the looming figure of Bludgeon surrounded by spinning demon heads tormenting a dazed Inferno with his sword. Yes, it arguably ruins the ending of the British story, but its so abstract and horrific I think that’s a small price to pay. It’s certainly hard to imagine any kids seeing this in the newsagents passing up on it, which isn’t something that usually seems likely for a cover without any of the more recognisable big names on it.
You’ll also note that in the info box—where Powermaster Prime (heavily based on the cover to issue 177) has sat for some time—has suddenly changed to show a purple arm leaning in to push the Autobot leader out of the way. Hmm, what can this mean?
"Allow me to both over establish my anger issues and provide exposition!"
An attention grabbing cover is a good thing to have on what is basically a relaunch issue, with new strips throughout. And I have never been so glad to read Kings of the Wild Frontier in my life. Even back in 1990 I had basically ignored the lead strip for the preceding few weeks, therefore the sense of relief was no where near as strong as coming off the back of having examined that bloody crossover in depth.
Which is interesting, as these middle chapters are usually regarded as the poor filler of Matrix Quest, an easily skipped often dull with a focus on uninteresting Autobots that barely sticks in the mind. That’s certainly how I’ve felt over the years, so will be massive sense of relief completely shift this viewpoint?
From the British perspective, one of the strikes against this one is it’s a Western. Whilst Furman is of that last generation that grew up loving them (indeed, this is the second overt one he’s given us after Dinobot Hunt!, plus of course various western tropes in characters like Death’s Head) it was effectively dead for kids of my age. I suppose the best thing you can say is the summer of Back to the Future Part 3 was as good a time to try this as any, but it’s fair to say this was never going to be something that was going to grab young minds that didn’t even know cowboy comics had ever been a thing.
The other strike against it is the presence of the Triggerbots. In no less than their fourth—fourth!—story to read as if it’s their introductory issue. That’s two from each author, one British and three American. And as if to hammer that home it’s between two parts of Matrix Quest entirely about new to Americans toys. If Furman couldn’t remember these guys had been in the comic before, what hope the rest of us?
So we get the Western trope of three mysterious strangers riding (for which read, “Walking”) into town (“For which read “the planet Cheyne”)... only for the subversion to be our heroes bemoaning the sand and heat. Which wouldn’t be a bad gag if the rest of the opening didn’t depend on showcasing what Angry Soldiers who likely wouldn’t whine the Triggerbots are.
Which is interesting, as these middle chapters are usually regarded as the poor filler of Matrix Quest, an easily skipped often dull with a focus on uninteresting Autobots that barely sticks in the mind. That’s certainly how I’ve felt over the years, so will be massive sense of relief completely shift this viewpoint?
From the British perspective, one of the strikes against this one is it’s a Western. Whilst Furman is of that last generation that grew up loving them (indeed, this is the second overt one he’s given us after Dinobot Hunt!, plus of course various western tropes in characters like Death’s Head) it was effectively dead for kids of my age. I suppose the best thing you can say is the summer of Back to the Future Part 3 was as good a time to try this as any, but it’s fair to say this was never going to be something that was going to grab young minds that didn’t even know cowboy comics had ever been a thing.
The other strike against it is the presence of the Triggerbots. In no less than their fourth—fourth!—story to read as if it’s their introductory issue. That’s two from each author, one British and three American. And as if to hammer that home it’s between two parts of Matrix Quest entirely about new to Americans toys. If Furman couldn’t remember these guys had been in the comic before, what hope the rest of us?
So we get the Western trope of three mysterious strangers riding (for which read, “Walking”) into town (“For which read “the planet Cheyne”)... only for the subversion to be our heroes bemoaning the sand and heat. Which wouldn’t be a bad gag if the rest of the opening didn’t depend on showcasing what Angry Soldiers who likely wouldn’t whine the Triggerbots are.
Almost literally hitting you over the head with the set up.
Yes, there’s no subtlety here as in order to sell the contrast for the second half of the story, Furman has them gagging for a fight, especially Dogfight who jumps on the flimsiest excuse to go take down some riders who are chasing a child. I mean, as he says, how much do you need to know about a situation before barrelling in? It’s not as if the whole gimmick of their race is disguise and they’re used to fighting villains who are so deceptive they put it in their name.
So there’s lots of angst about the cycle of war, about how they hate it but really love and screaming of things like “I’m a soldier not a bloodhound! I...WANT...A...FIGHT!” All to make it as absolutely clear as possible what their starting character point is. Which really depends on you forgetting their previous appearances (like the author has) where they were never this bloodthirsty.
It is probably lucky their mission got immediately derailed, if Nightbeat walking around a densely populated city and asking random people if they’ve seen the Matrix seemed a flawed plan, doing the same in the middle of the desert is even more so.
There is however a decent enough mystery in the reluctant riders being so keen to kill a friendly looking child (named Hud—years before Cloverfield, his equally friendly looking parents are farmers rushing to save him), and them trying to plead with the Autobots to listen only to be dismissed out of hand is nicely done. It’s already clear the twist here is that the friendly family will be EVIL, but what exactly is in store for the Triggerbots as a result of this act of kindness isn’t a bad hook to hang the rest of the story on. Though the cliffhanger is amusingly one of the riders being in trouble from a Very Angry Backstreet.
Overall, an OK opening that probably benefits from coming off the last two weeks. The art also benefits from coming off Herb Trimpe rather than Geoff Senior, I wonder how the Americans coped with that? Still, whilst his Triggerbots look terrible—Backstreet will never be a gunslinger with those arms—Delbo does have fun with the Western stuff.
So there’s lots of angst about the cycle of war, about how they hate it but really love and screaming of things like “I’m a soldier not a bloodhound! I...WANT...A...FIGHT!” All to make it as absolutely clear as possible what their starting character point is. Which really depends on you forgetting their previous appearances (like the author has) where they were never this bloodthirsty.
It is probably lucky their mission got immediately derailed, if Nightbeat walking around a densely populated city and asking random people if they’ve seen the Matrix seemed a flawed plan, doing the same in the middle of the desert is even more so.
There is however a decent enough mystery in the reluctant riders being so keen to kill a friendly looking child (named Hud—years before Cloverfield, his equally friendly looking parents are farmers rushing to save him), and them trying to plead with the Autobots to listen only to be dismissed out of hand is nicely done. It’s already clear the twist here is that the friendly family will be EVIL, but what exactly is in store for the Triggerbots as a result of this act of kindness isn’t a bad hook to hang the rest of the story on. Though the cliffhanger is amusingly one of the riders being in trouble from a Very Angry Backstreet.
Overall, an OK opening that probably benefits from coming off the last two weeks. The art also benefits from coming off Herb Trimpe rather than Geoff Senior, I wonder how the Americans coped with that? Still, whilst his Triggerbots look terrible—Backstreet will never be a gunslinger with those arms—Delbo does have fun with the Western stuff.
NIGHTMARE FUEL.
The British story, Shut Up!, is unusual—especially for this era of the UK strips—in that it’s clearly written as a showcase for the artist. I’m not sure if Furman wrote it with Staz in mind or if he was just hoping he’d get someone who could pull it off, but a piece that’s almost without dialogue with characters who are static beyond one moment of great shock value really needs an artist on top of his game to pull it off.
So following their capture post Survivors wrap up, we get our three favourite Pretender Mayhem Attack Squad members in sing sing, with Inferno as their guard in Earthbase. With Inferno being freaked out (as explained by his stress filled narration) over them just sitting there, not doing anything. Bludgeon seems to be meditating (and hey, he’s supposed to have mystical powers!), Stranglehold is just tensing his muscles and Octopunch is smiling. In the most freaky and fucked up way imaginable.
Inferno’s unease is perfectly captured, and is fully justified as it turns out Bludgeon does have mystical powers (though him needing to sit and meditate for hours to use them is a neat handwave as to why we never see it again), and in the Autobots’ weapons lock up, his sword starts floating.
Which where Bludgeon gives Stranglehold his cue with one raised finger to start ripping up the floor. Which is an immense relief to Inferno as the silence was killing him, so he’ll just open the cell, stun Stranglehold and get out again...
So following their capture post Survivors wrap up, we get our three favourite Pretender Mayhem Attack Squad members in sing sing, with Inferno as their guard in Earthbase. With Inferno being freaked out (as explained by his stress filled narration) over them just sitting there, not doing anything. Bludgeon seems to be meditating (and hey, he’s supposed to have mystical powers!), Stranglehold is just tensing his muscles and Octopunch is smiling. In the most freaky and fucked up way imaginable.
Inferno’s unease is perfectly captured, and is fully justified as it turns out Bludgeon does have mystical powers (though him needing to sit and meditate for hours to use them is a neat handwave as to why we never see it again), and in the Autobots’ weapons lock up, his sword starts floating.
Which where Bludgeon gives Stranglehold his cue with one raised finger to start ripping up the floor. Which is an immense relief to Inferno as the silence was killing him, so he’ll just open the cell, stun Stranglehold and get out again...
NIGHTMARE FUEL.
And oh fucking hell he gets a sword right through the chest. It’s a shocking image made even more brutal by how still the story has been up till now. And it’s an image made even stronger by Inferno’s final narration as he desperately reaches to turn the forcefield back on (“I reach for the switch, but everything’s slowing down. The roar of my fuel pumping into my throat is deafening. I know I’m not going to make it—and so do they”) and the way the three Pretenders just stroll past his leaking corpse.
We end on a wah wah wah gag that suggests if the art had been slightly off this would have been on the same level as Snow Joke!, with Prowl telling Grimlock (who doesn’t give a hoot Inferno is going to live. Remember how he was all keen to kill Tracks last week?) that the Decepticons escaped by “Keeping quiet”.
If there’s a flaw here it’s that this would have been much stronger as Inferno’s death. But I suppose he’s already had one great death scene, having another would be greedy. Overall this is a five page brainstorming session from Staz with Furman knowing exactly what to contribute whilst still letting the art be the start. Very possibly the last A+ British story of the run.
Transformation is quite cheerful in admitting that the Joe crossover was a well beaten to death dead horse (“At long last (according to some of you out there!) we pick up the thread of Matrix Quest...) and promotes next week’s Monster Munch/bike competition like a character from a 1950’s Enid Blyton novel. “You’re in with a chance to win a fabulous mountain bike! Gosh!”
AtoZ covers Tailgate and Tantrum, and boy was Marvel Tailgate ripped. He could certainly dig himself out of any hole. Interestingly (as was pointed out to me by Jon Stone on Twitter), if you mistake his cheeks for eyes he suddenly has the face of the wide eyed innocent IDW version!
We end on a wah wah wah gag that suggests if the art had been slightly off this would have been on the same level as Snow Joke!, with Prowl telling Grimlock (who doesn’t give a hoot Inferno is going to live. Remember how he was all keen to kill Tracks last week?) that the Decepticons escaped by “Keeping quiet”.
If there’s a flaw here it’s that this would have been much stronger as Inferno’s death. But I suppose he’s already had one great death scene, having another would be greedy. Overall this is a five page brainstorming session from Staz with Furman knowing exactly what to contribute whilst still letting the art be the start. Very possibly the last A+ British story of the run.
Transformation is quite cheerful in admitting that the Joe crossover was a well beaten to death dead horse (“At long last (according to some of you out there!) we pick up the thread of Matrix Quest...) and promotes next week’s Monster Munch/bike competition like a character from a 1950’s Enid Blyton novel. “You’re in with a chance to win a fabulous mountain bike! Gosh!”
AtoZ covers Tailgate and Tantrum, and boy was Marvel Tailgate ripped. He could certainly dig himself out of any hole. Interestingly (as was pointed out to me by Jon Stone on Twitter), if you mistake his cheeks for eyes he suddenly has the face of the wide eyed innocent IDW version!
And now you know. And knowing too much will get you shot.
After weeks of consecutive adventures, we get a good one-off gag Combat Colin, where his agent (Roy L.T. Check) suggests a film about the life of our hero. But Colin ignores the suggestion of hiring director Orson Kart and instead grabs his own camcorder to record his exploits. Luckily his desire for action seems to be satisfied when Ragdoll: Criminal of Cloth runs out of a bank with a massive bag of “Swag”.
Sadly Ragdoll only wants to perform for the camera and shoves Colin out of the way whilst doing a “Daft Dance” and hoping to see the stars. Which Colin helps him with by decking him with the camera. It’s the final gag that’s really delightful (and I suspect Stringer has built the entire story around this having done something similar himself): There’s no video to turn into a film as Colin forgot to turn the camera on!
Dreadwind starts strongly this week, answering every question (such as who Unicron is) of John Clerkin of Monagham correctly! Unfortunately he then fails Sanchez Kanadia of Southall and Ceri Taylor of Ferndown with myriad Dreadwind Fails to Answer Questions Properly! moments. So he can’t guarantee there isn’t a big boxset of Classic Hero toys; doesn’t know which Transformers video has Powermaster Prime is in, but is totally sure he is in one, and describes Scorponok as the one-time Earthbound Decepticon commander as it’s been so long since we saw an American issue Dreadwind has forgotten Scorpy still have that position. It’s somewhat amazing he manages to rally round to accurately describe what Shockwave turns into and why.
G.I. Joe: The Action Force starts a new adventure, Into the Breach from issue 69 of the American comic. Which features a moment I would have sworn came from an issue that predated the merger with Transformers, but keeping track of all the horrid xenophobic moments in this series is quite hard.
So a team including Roadblock and Duke are evacuating an American embassy in a made up South American country (though—perhaps luckily as it would be even more on the nose, everyone is coloured white), where they find the building full of looters and one man about to set fire to the American flag.
So Roadblock then fully prepares to use his ridiculously oversized gun to shot an unarmed civilian in the face for daring to disrespect the flag. With his explanation for not threatening the other looters being “Nobody ever died for a typewriter”.
Now, the guy had spit on Roadblock before this, but to be blunt, the reaction to being spat at if you’re a professional soldier on duty to make threats to “Reduce your head to a fine red mist” to someone who is, again, unarmed. And the reaction of the other Joes isn’t horror when they can’t even get Roadblock to admit he was bluffing but instead “Remind me never to play poker with you” style gags. And the embassy official who objects to this is a chinless dick who should be ignored.
Obviously this has added connotations in 2017. But I found it horrific when I first read this story a couple of years ago and I suspect I would have at the time as well if not for the fact I’d had more than enough G.I. Joe after the last 17 weeks and didn’t bother with the backup at all at this point.
It is just terrible, terrible, stuff on every level. And the fact that Joe fans have been petitioning hard for a mildly left writer to be sacked from the IDW comics for his political tweets (not ones I entirely agree with, I think his 9/11 tweet had a point about the milking of grief in there, but it was really badly worded and a stupid thing to say when you’re working on a franchise with a fanbase like this) whilst being perfectly fine with the guy who wrote this shows the sorry state that fandom has shrunken into.
So fuck Larry Hama and fuck the extreme Joe fans. They’re whatever the collective noun for a bunch of cunts is. I’m both delighted there are only a couple of months left of this shit for me to cover and that the franchise itself is slowly dying off.
Next week, hopefully less bigotry.
ISSUE 281
1990
COMMENT
Sadly Ragdoll only wants to perform for the camera and shoves Colin out of the way whilst doing a “Daft Dance” and hoping to see the stars. Which Colin helps him with by decking him with the camera. It’s the final gag that’s really delightful (and I suspect Stringer has built the entire story around this having done something similar himself): There’s no video to turn into a film as Colin forgot to turn the camera on!
Dreadwind starts strongly this week, answering every question (such as who Unicron is) of John Clerkin of Monagham correctly! Unfortunately he then fails Sanchez Kanadia of Southall and Ceri Taylor of Ferndown with myriad Dreadwind Fails to Answer Questions Properly! moments. So he can’t guarantee there isn’t a big boxset of Classic Hero toys; doesn’t know which Transformers video has Powermaster Prime is in, but is totally sure he is in one, and describes Scorponok as the one-time Earthbound Decepticon commander as it’s been so long since we saw an American issue Dreadwind has forgotten Scorpy still have that position. It’s somewhat amazing he manages to rally round to accurately describe what Shockwave turns into and why.
G.I. Joe: The Action Force starts a new adventure, Into the Breach from issue 69 of the American comic. Which features a moment I would have sworn came from an issue that predated the merger with Transformers, but keeping track of all the horrid xenophobic moments in this series is quite hard.
So a team including Roadblock and Duke are evacuating an American embassy in a made up South American country (though—perhaps luckily as it would be even more on the nose, everyone is coloured white), where they find the building full of looters and one man about to set fire to the American flag.
So Roadblock then fully prepares to use his ridiculously oversized gun to shot an unarmed civilian in the face for daring to disrespect the flag. With his explanation for not threatening the other looters being “Nobody ever died for a typewriter”.
Now, the guy had spit on Roadblock before this, but to be blunt, the reaction to being spat at if you’re a professional soldier on duty to make threats to “Reduce your head to a fine red mist” to someone who is, again, unarmed. And the reaction of the other Joes isn’t horror when they can’t even get Roadblock to admit he was bluffing but instead “Remind me never to play poker with you” style gags. And the embassy official who objects to this is a chinless dick who should be ignored.
Obviously this has added connotations in 2017. But I found it horrific when I first read this story a couple of years ago and I suspect I would have at the time as well if not for the fact I’d had more than enough G.I. Joe after the last 17 weeks and didn’t bother with the backup at all at this point.
It is just terrible, terrible, stuff on every level. And the fact that Joe fans have been petitioning hard for a mildly left writer to be sacked from the IDW comics for his political tweets (not ones I entirely agree with, I think his 9/11 tweet had a point about the milking of grief in there, but it was really badly worded and a stupid thing to say when you’re working on a franchise with a fanbase like this) whilst being perfectly fine with the guy who wrote this shows the sorry state that fandom has shrunken into.
So fuck Larry Hama and fuck the extreme Joe fans. They’re whatever the collective noun for a bunch of cunts is. I’m both delighted there are only a couple of months left of this shit for me to cover and that the franchise itself is slowly dying off.
Next week, hopefully less bigotry.
ISSUE 281
1990
COMMENT
