You're loony Tunes in a Big Wide Room and I'm a Hologram From the Future.
Issue 268: Blood on the Tracks Part 4/Flashback! 28th April 1990.
You should’ve stayed in your own time!
Theorising that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Dr Sam Beckett stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator and vanished... He woke to find himself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that were not his own and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better. His only guide on this journey is Al, an observer from his own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Sam can see and hear. And so Dr. Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home.
A blinding flash of blue light surrounds that bloke from NCIS: New Orleans. He is lay on an uncomfortable bed, surrounded by old comics.
Sam: Wait...what...what is this...
He spots his reflection in the TV. That odd chiming noise sounds.
Sam: Am I a monkey again?
The imaging chamber door opens and the immortal Dean Stockwell steps out.
Al: It’s worse than that Sam, you’re a Transformers fan!
Sam: Oh, so it’s the mid-1980’s and I’m a small child then?
Al: No, it’s 2017—hmm, must be one of those slightly desperate format breaking season 5 episodes. At least you’re not a celebrity this time—and you’re a 35 year old man who lives with his mother and has made it his mission to review every single British Transformers comic at a weekly rate. Personally I could never cope with just once a week.
Sam: Al, you’ve got to get me out of here! I don’t know Optimus Prime from Leader-One!
Al: Ziggy says there’s a 98.9999% chance the current comic’s Transformers/G.I. Joe crossover is so bad, it will drive Stuart into a psychotic killing spree of anyone called Joe within the month. You’ve got to read it and review it, and the oddly familiar time travel story that makes up the second strip, and stay sane.
Sam looks at issue 268 of the comic.
Sam: Oh boy.
You should’ve stayed in your own time!
Theorising that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Dr Sam Beckett stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator and vanished... He woke to find himself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that were not his own and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better. His only guide on this journey is Al, an observer from his own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Sam can see and hear. And so Dr. Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home.
A blinding flash of blue light surrounds that bloke from NCIS: New Orleans. He is lay on an uncomfortable bed, surrounded by old comics.
Sam: Wait...what...what is this...
He spots his reflection in the TV. That odd chiming noise sounds.
Sam: Am I a monkey again?
The imaging chamber door opens and the immortal Dean Stockwell steps out.
Al: It’s worse than that Sam, you’re a Transformers fan!
Sam: Oh, so it’s the mid-1980’s and I’m a small child then?
Al: No, it’s 2017—hmm, must be one of those slightly desperate format breaking season 5 episodes. At least you’re not a celebrity this time—and you’re a 35 year old man who lives with his mother and has made it his mission to review every single British Transformers comic at a weekly rate. Personally I could never cope with just once a week.
Sam: Al, you’ve got to get me out of here! I don’t know Optimus Prime from Leader-One!
Al: Ziggy says there’s a 98.9999% chance the current comic’s Transformers/G.I. Joe crossover is so bad, it will drive Stuart into a psychotic killing spree of anyone called Joe within the month. You’ve got to read it and review it, and the oddly familiar time travel story that makes up the second strip, and stay sane.
Sam looks at issue 268 of the comic.
Sam: Oh boy.
The series summed up better than I could ever manage.
You know, I was tempted to do the entire thing as if I had Sam Beckett deep within me, but I couldn’t do that to Scott Bakula, even after Enterprise.
The conclusion of Blood on the Tracks is entirely based around one piece of housekeeping: The death of Bumblebee so he can be rebuilt into Goldbug. Which is rather a moot point for UK readers as we’ve already been through our own version of all that and Bumblebee has been back in the comic since the New Year.
It doesn’t help that the resulting death is rather lacklustre. Bumblebee falls into Bombshell’s trap, rushing forwards to save Timothy from being crushed by Power Station Alpha. If he’d fallen under the treads himself it might actually have been an appropriate exit, the child friendly Autobot sacrificing himself for a kid has a certain ring to it.
But instead it turns out that G.I. Joe have never heard of the giant alien robots that have been running about for two/six years at this point. If they had and were aware of Decepticon fuel thefts, their actions might make more sense. Instead they see a giant robot rescue a small child and then put his hands up in surrender whilst attempting to explain. So of course (once Hawk has been told by his senator love interest she’s fine with the risk to the power station) they blow him up with no provocation like he’s a black man pulled over by the US cops.
The explosion panel isn’t actually that bad and looks as if Will Simpson might have used it for reference for his own take way back when, though he did it with considerably more style. The three panels looking close up at Bumblebee’s dismembered limbs and his last words of “I...have...failed...” are also pretty solid. But otherwise this was much better with a Freelance Peacekeeping Agent.
The conclusion of Blood on the Tracks is entirely based around one piece of housekeeping: The death of Bumblebee so he can be rebuilt into Goldbug. Which is rather a moot point for UK readers as we’ve already been through our own version of all that and Bumblebee has been back in the comic since the New Year.
It doesn’t help that the resulting death is rather lacklustre. Bumblebee falls into Bombshell’s trap, rushing forwards to save Timothy from being crushed by Power Station Alpha. If he’d fallen under the treads himself it might actually have been an appropriate exit, the child friendly Autobot sacrificing himself for a kid has a certain ring to it.
But instead it turns out that G.I. Joe have never heard of the giant alien robots that have been running about for two/six years at this point. If they had and were aware of Decepticon fuel thefts, their actions might make more sense. Instead they see a giant robot rescue a small child and then put his hands up in surrender whilst attempting to explain. So of course (once Hawk has been told by his senator love interest she’s fine with the risk to the power station) they blow him up with no provocation like he’s a black man pulled over by the US cops.
The explosion panel isn’t actually that bad and looks as if Will Simpson might have used it for reference for his own take way back when, though he did it with considerably more style. The three panels looking close up at Bumblebee’s dismembered limbs and his last words of “I...have...failed...” are also pretty solid. But otherwise this was much better with a Freelance Peacekeeping Agent.
"Yeah, that guy is a good leader. Which one is he again?
The minor b-plot involves Optimus getting a call from Bumblebee and sending the Aerialbots to help in what would chronologically be their first appearance with full personalities. Two things make this very brief sequence hilarious. The first is Prime clearly struggles to remember the names of his newest troops as he sends them out and winds up thinking Superion is the fifth one rather than Silverbolt. No wonder the guy has a complex.
The second—in the panel where Prime just about remembers the concord guy—is the first moment to show a real weakness of the series. When musing on Silverbolt’s personality and fear of heights author Higgins just copies out and slightly condenses his Universe profile. Resulting in a big chunky awkward block of text. And that’s our last glimpse of Prime in this story as well.
This creates our cliff-hanger where, feeling smug about taking out one small robot, the Joe’s are confronted by a pissed of Superion (not to be confused with Silverbolt). Will they have chance to make their “Actually, all lives matter?” argument?
Whilst more has happened in this opening quarter than I remembered, it’s still been an incredibly difficult four week slog that does not bode well for the next 12.
The second—in the panel where Prime just about remembers the concord guy—is the first moment to show a real weakness of the series. When musing on Silverbolt’s personality and fear of heights author Higgins just copies out and slightly condenses his Universe profile. Resulting in a big chunky awkward block of text. And that’s our last glimpse of Prime in this story as well.
This creates our cliff-hanger where, feeling smug about taking out one small robot, the Joe’s are confronted by a pissed of Superion (not to be confused with Silverbolt). Will they have chance to make their “Actually, all lives matter?” argument?
Whilst more has happened in this opening quarter than I remembered, it’s still been an incredibly difficult four week slog that does not bode well for the next 12.
"bring me Optimus, and make it snappy!"
Luckily the British story that inspired the opening of this piece is much better. Indeed, after several weeks of comedy Flashback! is the first out and out high octane classic of the Earthforce run.
You can tell Furman is on fine form as none of the short page count is wasted on preamble, we’re quickly told that Megatron has a new and different time machine and that an Autobot team led by Prowl have fought their way into his base only to find him already in the past. So Prowl follows. All done within just two panels.
Having gone through the Quantum Leap accelerator...err...Flashback doorway, Prowl finds himself back during the Underbase battle, being knocked about by Starscream.
I love this for three reasons. The first is I am a big fan of the then recently started showing on BBC2 Quantum Leap. Yes, even though it’s generally sweet and cheerful nature is the opposite of my own hatred of humanity. Even season 5 and that time they said the thing God hated most about the death of Marilyn Monroe was is breaking her contractual obligations rather than the death itself.
I have fond memories of being allowed to stay up late and watch the pilot and it pretty much falling instantly in love with it. We all know Furman has a lot of fun with pastiches, but at the time I didn’t know Raymond Chandler or the forthcoming Herman Melville and only really came to appreciate the fun being had revisiting the stories as an adult. This was something I fully got even in 1990, and it was fun to see the format of a favourite TV show reworked with the robots in disguise.
The twist here is that the Sam Beckett trying to put right what once went wrong is Megatron. Inhabiting the body of Seacon leader Snaptrap, he intends to steer the team away from their inglorious death at the hands of Starscream. Which might seem small scale compared to the previous time travel epic, but it would make sense he’s try and limit its use to small gains rather than risk a Universe destroying time storm. And maybe if it had worked, stage two would have been something like him going to crush that floppy disc with Prime’s mind on it.
You can tell Furman is on fine form as none of the short page count is wasted on preamble, we’re quickly told that Megatron has a new and different time machine and that an Autobot team led by Prowl have fought their way into his base only to find him already in the past. So Prowl follows. All done within just two panels.
Having gone through the Quantum Leap accelerator...err...Flashback doorway, Prowl finds himself back during the Underbase battle, being knocked about by Starscream.
I love this for three reasons. The first is I am a big fan of the then recently started showing on BBC2 Quantum Leap. Yes, even though it’s generally sweet and cheerful nature is the opposite of my own hatred of humanity. Even season 5 and that time they said the thing God hated most about the death of Marilyn Monroe was is breaking her contractual obligations rather than the death itself.
I have fond memories of being allowed to stay up late and watch the pilot and it pretty much falling instantly in love with it. We all know Furman has a lot of fun with pastiches, but at the time I didn’t know Raymond Chandler or the forthcoming Herman Melville and only really came to appreciate the fun being had revisiting the stories as an adult. This was something I fully got even in 1990, and it was fun to see the format of a favourite TV show reworked with the robots in disguise.
The twist here is that the Sam Beckett trying to put right what once went wrong is Megatron. Inhabiting the body of Seacon leader Snaptrap, he intends to steer the team away from their inglorious death at the hands of Starscream. Which might seem small scale compared to the previous time travel epic, but it would make sense he’s try and limit its use to small gains rather than risk a Universe destroying time storm. And maybe if it had worked, stage two would have been something like him going to crush that floppy disc with Prime’s mind on it.
Ziggy says you're fucked.
Prowl isn’t having any of this though, so after his take on “Oh boy” (“Yeesh!”) we get a fun fight between the two. Much to the confusion of the other Seacons who don’t get why the Autobot is calling Snaptrap Megatron.
The joy here comes from Megatron’s long standing insecurities. As Prowl gloats over how Megatron should really know who he is because they’ve fought enough times over the years, Snapatron freezes in fear at the thought it has to be Prime. Which sums him up perfectly. And Prowl’s “Nope-Prowl! But it was worth a try!” as he knocks the Decepticon/s out is a crowning moment of awesome for a character who is too often written with a broom up his arse.
The final even delivers one of the ideas I thought it was a shame Time Wars didn’t take advantage of. That Uncle Bob had several 1984 characters avoid an on-page death but still vanish from the series, which could have been used to up the real death count in the British story running alongside it. One of those characters was Prowl, so when Megatron returns to the future as a result of being knocked out, he has to hang around for his own zapping from Starscream. Which is a nice dark brutal moment. Luckily he wakes up back in 1990, letting him quip to Jazz that dying twice was beyond a joke.
This is Furman’s short form storytelling at its best, not a single moment is wasted and there are lots of nice little beats in almost every panel. Art is by John Marshall, but visibly it’s Stephen Baskerville’s inks that are carrying most of the weight as it is very recognisably his style. Again, everything looks great, and it’s especially nice that all the panels in the past have the curved edge shape usually reserved for flashbacks.
One thing to note about Baskerville's cover is that Snaptrap's head is completely in shadow, just as it was back in Salvage! So was there a character model out there that actually looked like that?
The joy here comes from Megatron’s long standing insecurities. As Prowl gloats over how Megatron should really know who he is because they’ve fought enough times over the years, Snapatron freezes in fear at the thought it has to be Prime. Which sums him up perfectly. And Prowl’s “Nope-Prowl! But it was worth a try!” as he knocks the Decepticon/s out is a crowning moment of awesome for a character who is too often written with a broom up his arse.
The final even delivers one of the ideas I thought it was a shame Time Wars didn’t take advantage of. That Uncle Bob had several 1984 characters avoid an on-page death but still vanish from the series, which could have been used to up the real death count in the British story running alongside it. One of those characters was Prowl, so when Megatron returns to the future as a result of being knocked out, he has to hang around for his own zapping from Starscream. Which is a nice dark brutal moment. Luckily he wakes up back in 1990, letting him quip to Jazz that dying twice was beyond a joke.
This is Furman’s short form storytelling at its best, not a single moment is wasted and there are lots of nice little beats in almost every panel. Art is by John Marshall, but visibly it’s Stephen Baskerville’s inks that are carrying most of the weight as it is very recognisably his style. Again, everything looks great, and it’s especially nice that all the panels in the past have the curved edge shape usually reserved for flashbacks.
One thing to note about Baskerville's cover is that Snaptrap's head is completely in shadow, just as it was back in Salvage! So was there a character model out there that actually looked like that?
It certainly is.
With such a strong local story, it’s a surprise that Transformation seems not to like it very much. After a fun You Only Die Twice gag it describes the story as “Offbeat” and proceeds to describe most of the plot. Which is never a good sign. The sidebar also asks for feedback on the art, starting with “Whilst we’re on the subject of weird and bizarre events” and saying “It’s certainly interesting” in a tone that suggests the word “Interesting” was a replacement for a much shorter one.
The weird and bizarre events refers to the launch of a new comic, Pendragon (though the advert later in the comic uses its final title of The Knights of Pendragon), which bizarrely doesn’t make a single mention of Captain Britain but tries to excite young readers by Dai Thomas being in it.
Combat Colin is delivering a priceless golden banana to the local museum (Steve: I know that Col!; Colin: I just said that for the reader’s benefit Steve!) when the mutant artificial life-form Ragdoll drops in to steal it. Being exactly like a ragdoll he can shake any attack off, except Big Brenda Blenkinsop who Colin calls in to take Ragdoll home. Where she will “Cuddle you an’ hug you an’ never-ever let you go!” A fate worse than death indeed.
Dread Tidings is most notable for Homer Jiassemides of London writing in to answer Catherine Wayne’s question back in issue 260 about who built Optimus Prime. Which he does by describing the entire plot of the TV episode War Dawn. As this doesn’t really contradict anything in the comic (and it’s entirely possible Dreadwind doesn’t know the source) this means the response can’t do the usual “The cartoon doesn’t count” thing and has to accept it. Through Dreadwind is at least highly suspicious of this Alpha Trion guy.
The third part of the current G.I. Joe: The Action Force backup is in theory about plugging the space shuttle Defiant toy, but the best bit is the Baroness being knocked out during the battle and the new Cobra Commander freezing in panic like he’s a Megatron who thinks Optimus Prime is in the room. Let’s hope Sam Beckett doesn’t chose that moment to enter his body as the increasingly complex nature of the ongoing soap operas would likely take Al an hour to explain.
The weird and bizarre events refers to the launch of a new comic, Pendragon (though the advert later in the comic uses its final title of The Knights of Pendragon), which bizarrely doesn’t make a single mention of Captain Britain but tries to excite young readers by Dai Thomas being in it.
Combat Colin is delivering a priceless golden banana to the local museum (Steve: I know that Col!; Colin: I just said that for the reader’s benefit Steve!) when the mutant artificial life-form Ragdoll drops in to steal it. Being exactly like a ragdoll he can shake any attack off, except Big Brenda Blenkinsop who Colin calls in to take Ragdoll home. Where she will “Cuddle you an’ hug you an’ never-ever let you go!” A fate worse than death indeed.
Dread Tidings is most notable for Homer Jiassemides of London writing in to answer Catherine Wayne’s question back in issue 260 about who built Optimus Prime. Which he does by describing the entire plot of the TV episode War Dawn. As this doesn’t really contradict anything in the comic (and it’s entirely possible Dreadwind doesn’t know the source) this means the response can’t do the usual “The cartoon doesn’t count” thing and has to accept it. Through Dreadwind is at least highly suspicious of this Alpha Trion guy.
The third part of the current G.I. Joe: The Action Force backup is in theory about plugging the space shuttle Defiant toy, but the best bit is the Baroness being knocked out during the battle and the new Cobra Commander freezing in panic like he’s a Megatron who thinks Optimus Prime is in the room. Let’s hope Sam Beckett doesn’t chose that moment to enter his body as the increasingly complex nature of the ongoing soap operas would likely take Al an hour to explain.
At least this ad remembers Captain Britain.
Sam: Do you think that did it Al?
Al: Just like I did it with Tina last night Sam. According to Ziggy, Stuart won’t be going on his killing spree till 2028 now.
Hmm, well, little victories. I guess I can go back to Battlestar Galactica now? I get to have actual sex in that one rather than just talking about it all the time!
Sam: Why haven’t I leapt yet? Maybe this is going to be one of those episodes where we end on a gag were what I was actually here to do was a really minor change to history that had nothing to do with the main plot? You know, like “Piggy Sue”?
A black cat walks in and knocks the pile of comics, which would knock them all over the floor if not for Sam quickly grabbing it.
Sam: Wait, was that it? I was here to stop this guy’s comic collection getting messed up?
Al: Time to roll out Sam.
The blue light engulfs Same, and when it clears he is on a cheap and nasty looking spaceship set.
Sam: Now where am I?
Voice Singing: It’s been a long road, getting from there to here...
Sam: Oh boy.
Executive Producer: Donald P. Bellisario.
ISSUE 267
1990
COMMENT
Al: Just like I did it with Tina last night Sam. According to Ziggy, Stuart won’t be going on his killing spree till 2028 now.
Hmm, well, little victories. I guess I can go back to Battlestar Galactica now? I get to have actual sex in that one rather than just talking about it all the time!
Sam: Why haven’t I leapt yet? Maybe this is going to be one of those episodes where we end on a gag were what I was actually here to do was a really minor change to history that had nothing to do with the main plot? You know, like “Piggy Sue”?
A black cat walks in and knocks the pile of comics, which would knock them all over the floor if not for Sam quickly grabbing it.
Sam: Wait, was that it? I was here to stop this guy’s comic collection getting messed up?
Al: Time to roll out Sam.
The blue light engulfs Same, and when it clears he is on a cheap and nasty looking spaceship set.
Sam: Now where am I?
Voice Singing: It’s been a long road, getting from there to here...
Sam: Oh boy.
Executive Producer: Donald P. Bellisario.
ISSUE 267
1990
COMMENT
