It's Only Words.
Issue 265: Blood on the Tracks Part 1/Once Upon a Time... 7th April 1990.
I luv comics.
Oh blimey.
OK then, let’s start with something simple. The cover seems to be unique for this period of the Marvel series by being a blown up piece of interior art. In particular the very last panel of the British story, with the Autobot Code lying in the snow. Albeit the fairly tame “Naff” scribbled on the cover has been replaced by a bigger and more eye-catching “Rubbish”. I could be wrong and it’s merely a close copy, but the deciding factor may be that there’s no credit for the cover art, just “Cover Design: Gary Gilbert”.
Hmm.
OK then.
With no access to the next American story, reprinting the one bit of Transformers fiction not seen in the UK makes perfect sense. Especially as it’s long enough to take up four months worth of issues, meaning that when it’s done enough of a gap will be have built up to avoid this issue for a long time. Transformation is also pleasingly honest about the reasons for this, the right lessons have been learnt from the awkward handover to the black and white format. It even freely admits that we’re going to be seeing the “American” origin of Goldbug, no bullshitting or bluffing here. It just asks us to stick through it and roll with some different continuity issues.
I luv comics.
Oh blimey.
OK then, let’s start with something simple. The cover seems to be unique for this period of the Marvel series by being a blown up piece of interior art. In particular the very last panel of the British story, with the Autobot Code lying in the snow. Albeit the fairly tame “Naff” scribbled on the cover has been replaced by a bigger and more eye-catching “Rubbish”. I could be wrong and it’s merely a close copy, but the deciding factor may be that there’s no credit for the cover art, just “Cover Design: Gary Gilbert”.
Hmm.
OK then.
With no access to the next American story, reprinting the one bit of Transformers fiction not seen in the UK makes perfect sense. Especially as it’s long enough to take up four months worth of issues, meaning that when it’s done enough of a gap will be have built up to avoid this issue for a long time. Transformation is also pleasingly honest about the reasons for this, the right lessons have been learnt from the awkward handover to the black and white format. It even freely admits that we’re going to be seeing the “American” origin of Goldbug, no bullshitting or bluffing here. It just asks us to stick through it and roll with some different continuity issues.
Have a drink every time you see a Transformer and you'll be almost entirely sober by the end.
The problem is though, the story that starts off with Blood on the Tracks is a strong contender for the worst Transformers comic Marvel ever did. This 1986 four issue series occurred around the same time as a little spate of similar Vs miniseries between different Marvel heroes. For example, 1987 gave us Fantastic 4 Vs X-Men, which at least had the distinction of being written by one of those two team’s regular writer, Chris Claremont. Though more typically for this sort of thing the art was by Jon Bogdanove, who was not (and is not) particularly associated with either book.
The reverse is true here in that we get a regular Joe artist who, as an added bonus actually has some Transformers experience in Herb Trimpe. Even Nel Yomtov comes along for the ride because of course you’d need to bring him over instead of Budiansky. However, what likely dooms this series is it’s written by someone with no prior experience of either franchise beyond lettering the very first Transformers issue.
With so many characters vying for space, Michael Higgins would have had to be really on the ball to keep on top of even a simple story. But either he or his editor decided to make this task even harder by having it occur in real time alongside the issues of both books it was originally published alongside. Issues where drastic changes in the status quo happen, again to both books. Meaning as we go along characters will vanish, objectives and positions of all the sides will shift and there will be numerous chunky exposition speeches to try and keep the readers up to date of things that really shouldn’t matter. Why it wasn’t just set between two relatively stable issues (in the case of Transformers, just before Afterdeath! would make most sense) is one of life’s great mysteries.
One side affect of this means that when we in the UK see the series three years later with get “See issue” boxes that go back 100 issues for the Joe references and 170 for Transformers. Even if you were there at the time, your memory probably isn’t going to that sharp so as to follow all this.
The reverse is true here in that we get a regular Joe artist who, as an added bonus actually has some Transformers experience in Herb Trimpe. Even Nel Yomtov comes along for the ride because of course you’d need to bring him over instead of Budiansky. However, what likely dooms this series is it’s written by someone with no prior experience of either franchise beyond lettering the very first Transformers issue.
With so many characters vying for space, Michael Higgins would have had to be really on the ball to keep on top of even a simple story. But either he or his editor decided to make this task even harder by having it occur in real time alongside the issues of both books it was originally published alongside. Issues where drastic changes in the status quo happen, again to both books. Meaning as we go along characters will vanish, objectives and positions of all the sides will shift and there will be numerous chunky exposition speeches to try and keep the readers up to date of things that really shouldn’t matter. Why it wasn’t just set between two relatively stable issues (in the case of Transformers, just before Afterdeath! would make most sense) is one of life’s great mysteries.
One side affect of this means that when we in the UK see the series three years later with get “See issue” boxes that go back 100 issues for the Joe references and 170 for Transformers. Even if you were there at the time, your memory probably isn’t going to that sharp so as to follow all this.
Look how exciting this comic is.
It’s also incredibly biased towards G.I. Joe, being predominantly about them and a plot they’re dealing with into which robots occasionally wander. In a series that gave them equal billing this would be a problem, in the main Transformers book it can only be a disaster. Of six pages here, only two feature Cybertronians as Optimus (worrying about Megatron. See issues 94 and 95) sends a worried Bumblebee to spy on an orbital power station that’s about to be launched. And that feels about average page time for this series.
Said Power Station Alpha is causing protests (with two of the protesters being a mother and her son Anthony, who will get more to do than most of the Transformers) outside where it’s going to be launched due to safety concerns. Obviously the only way to deal with protesters armed with placards is to call America’s leading anti-terrorist force in. Though Hawk seems to have the hots for the female Senator Larkin, insisting on first names and defending her scheme to another senator who points out the power station is genuinely batshit insane.
But hey, it’s mentioned G.B. Blackrock has worked on the power station. Which is nice.
A Joe focused story might not be the most appealing of ideas to Transformers readers, but the other issue on top of all the other issues is that it’s all so dull. At its best, G.I. Joe: The Action Force is entertaining undemanding action. It isn’t politics, energy crises and placards. Even the watching Drednoks become so bored they break orders to ride in and mess with the Joes. Which still feels very lethargic despite in theory upping the pace.
The damage done here to the books long term future in incalculable. I have yet to ever encounter anyone who enjoyed this as the lead strip, though I have spoken to many who gave up reading during it. It’s telling the original British stories will cease to be viable at around the same time it concludes (and I suspect they were only kept going that long because Peters knew the book would really be doomed it didn’t have some original content that actually featured the robots, otherwise it is just a G.I. Joe comic), things are about to get very, very tired feeling.
Said Power Station Alpha is causing protests (with two of the protesters being a mother and her son Anthony, who will get more to do than most of the Transformers) outside where it’s going to be launched due to safety concerns. Obviously the only way to deal with protesters armed with placards is to call America’s leading anti-terrorist force in. Though Hawk seems to have the hots for the female Senator Larkin, insisting on first names and defending her scheme to another senator who points out the power station is genuinely batshit insane.
But hey, it’s mentioned G.B. Blackrock has worked on the power station. Which is nice.
A Joe focused story might not be the most appealing of ideas to Transformers readers, but the other issue on top of all the other issues is that it’s all so dull. At its best, G.I. Joe: The Action Force is entertaining undemanding action. It isn’t politics, energy crises and placards. Even the watching Drednoks become so bored they break orders to ride in and mess with the Joes. Which still feels very lethargic despite in theory upping the pace.
The damage done here to the books long term future in incalculable. I have yet to ever encounter anyone who enjoyed this as the lead strip, though I have spoken to many who gave up reading during it. It’s telling the original British stories will cease to be viable at around the same time it concludes (and I suspect they were only kept going that long because Peters knew the book would really be doomed it didn’t have some original content that actually featured the robots, otherwise it is just a G.I. Joe comic), things are about to get very, very tired feeling.
Don't you hate people who draw on comics?
The issue does try and compensate with the backup though. Once Upon a Time... being switched with Desert Island Risk! may have had as much to do with wanting to have a strong statement of intent to run alongside the weak lead story. The result is we get the formal launching of Earthforce after its first story, but considering some of the chronology issues we’ve had recently, this is small potatoes.
The conceit here is rather brilliant, and clearly intended to be a “New readers start here” moment. As the title implies, we’re told a bedtime story, one recapping the events of the series to date through a suspiciously familiar narrative voice. Despite the pages being framed as if from an old book, things start of fairly straight with the basics of the origin of the war. But by the second page a hand is reaching into frame and drawing a moustache and glasses on Optimus Prime, at which point you know this really is going to be something very special.
The third page takes things even further, one narration box becomes a taped on post it note above a chunk of torn out page, and when the narrator comes to describing the ultimate goal of the Autobots, there are had drawn children's sketches showing Grimlock and Megs having a cheerful drink before Megatron settles down to become a farmer (with a sieve on his head and a cat that’s presumably Ravage), all because the Autobot code places finding peaceful solutions above all.
Amidst all this there are scrawling in the margins: a game of noughts and crosses, “Steve” and “I luv comics”, the last statement clearly from someone who hasn’t read the full issue.
The twist, as with the end of the UK version of The Big Broadcast of 2006, is indebted to The Prisoner episode The Girl Who Was Death, indeed, even more so as the shot of Grimlock closing the book as he ends his story and we cut back to reality could be a screengrab from the episode.
The conceit here is rather brilliant, and clearly intended to be a “New readers start here” moment. As the title implies, we’re told a bedtime story, one recapping the events of the series to date through a suspiciously familiar narrative voice. Despite the pages being framed as if from an old book, things start of fairly straight with the basics of the origin of the war. But by the second page a hand is reaching into frame and drawing a moustache and glasses on Optimus Prime, at which point you know this really is going to be something very special.
The third page takes things even further, one narration box becomes a taped on post it note above a chunk of torn out page, and when the narrator comes to describing the ultimate goal of the Autobots, there are had drawn children's sketches showing Grimlock and Megs having a cheerful drink before Megatron settles down to become a farmer (with a sieve on his head and a cat that’s presumably Ravage), all because the Autobot code places finding peaceful solutions above all.
Amidst all this there are scrawling in the margins: a game of noughts and crosses, “Steve” and “I luv comics”, the last statement clearly from someone who hasn’t read the full issue.
The twist, as with the end of the UK version of The Big Broadcast of 2006, is indebted to The Prisoner episode The Girl Who Was Death, indeed, even more so as the shot of Grimlock closing the book as he ends his story and we cut back to reality could be a screengrab from the episode.
Just brilliant isn't it?
What’s really going on is that at Earthforce’s new Canadian base (famously in Canada because Furman likes polar bears. It’s prescient of his Alpha Flight work as well), Grimlock is rallying the troops. He follows his biased telling of the Autobot code with a declaration that could come from the Daily Mail talking about Jeremy Corbyn as he insists Prime is weak for wanting to make peace with terrorists...err evil soldiers. So it’s time to throw out the human rights act...err...Autobot Code and do things their more violent way. Yes, Grimlock is Theresa May, and only one soundbite away from “Strong and Stable”.
Of course, with his troops being made up of guys who remember exactly how things went wrong the last time Grimlock had a free hand as Autobot leaders they all...
Just go along with it. Which is probably what’s going to happen with the election (and aren’t you glad I’m writing this the day before the vote and the real hopelessness sinks in?). So Grimlock cheerfully chucks the Autobot Code through the window and sets everyone off to find Prowl. Which will lead us back to where we came in last week.
A lot of your enjoyment of this will depend on how far you roll with the conceit, there’s no more attempt at realism here than there is in its Prisoner counterpart (why would be the code be in a paper book? Who made Grimlock’s giant pencil? Who is Steve?), but as a format breaking exercise in whimsy originally intended to come out on April 1st, it’s exquisite. The comedy over Earthforce is going to be hit and miss over the next five months, but here it fires on all cylinders.
It’s also very much the artist’s issue, and Andy Wildman embraces the chance to shake things up, perfectly matching each panel to what it needs to be. Starting off very sensible (and I believe this is the first time the stock art of Cybertron we’ll be seeing a lot, lot more on the Wildman and Senior American issues is used) before getting increasingly silly as it goes on and then cutting to clear sharp art for the “Real” two pages. This wouldn’t work if he wasn’t on his best form, and he’s clearly loving it. And with at least one young child knocking around the house, I wonder if a real toddler helped him with the kids drawings?
Of course, with his troops being made up of guys who remember exactly how things went wrong the last time Grimlock had a free hand as Autobot leaders they all...
Just go along with it. Which is probably what’s going to happen with the election (and aren’t you glad I’m writing this the day before the vote and the real hopelessness sinks in?). So Grimlock cheerfully chucks the Autobot Code through the window and sets everyone off to find Prowl. Which will lead us back to where we came in last week.
A lot of your enjoyment of this will depend on how far you roll with the conceit, there’s no more attempt at realism here than there is in its Prisoner counterpart (why would be the code be in a paper book? Who made Grimlock’s giant pencil? Who is Steve?), but as a format breaking exercise in whimsy originally intended to come out on April 1st, it’s exquisite. The comedy over Earthforce is going to be hit and miss over the next five months, but here it fires on all cylinders.
It’s also very much the artist’s issue, and Andy Wildman embraces the chance to shake things up, perfectly matching each panel to what it needs to be. Starting off very sensible (and I believe this is the first time the stock art of Cybertron we’ll be seeing a lot, lot more on the Wildman and Senior American issues is used) before getting increasingly silly as it goes on and then cutting to clear sharp art for the “Real” two pages. This wouldn’t work if he wasn’t on his best form, and he’s clearly loving it. And with at least one young child knocking around the house, I wonder if a real toddler helped him with the kids drawings?
They're trying their best, bless.
Understandably Transformation is very focused on the format breaking novelty of the British story as well as the aforementioned honesty about the lead strip. To try and make up for the issue’s problems, there’s a competition in association with chocolate based cereal Weetos. Spot ten differences in two pictures of the “Prof” mascot of the brand and you can win a microscope that, pleasingly, is in Perceptor colours.
Combat Colin escapes the flooding tunnel in an inflatable Combat Sub, only to be captured by surprise villain Madprof (“You’re mad professor! Mentally mad!” “That’s why they call me...Madprof!”) and less memorable baddy Mr Magno. Their planning to mess up national monuments with magnets (next: The Blackpool tower) and cheerfully throw Colin and Steve in the Magna-Room, where the walls slowly move in on them. Though Steve wonders if the humming might be his socks.
From here on in, Lew Stringer will often be providing the highlight of each issue, and in one page he packs more excitement, humour and plot that the lead story manages in six.
Dread Tidings is given over to two very long letters, one from Mark Limerick of Ascot trying to sell a replacement for the VVH called the MISH (Multiple Intensity Stubbie Harmer). Meanwhile Christopher Caudery of RAF Halton writes at length about the time shifts around Galvatron in Aspects of Evil!, which gives the Decepticon a headache.
AtoZ returns after a lengthy absence with Shockwave, who gets a full page, but no alternate mode. Meanwhile the Baroness decides to go along with Fred’s bluff in the other slice of bread in our G.I. Joe: The Action Force sandwich. All whilst the drawn out plot back at the Pitt continues to be drawn out.
Next week, after a month since he vanished, we’re going to need a really good resolution to this Prowl storyline.
All assuming I come back from France and don’t seek asylum after the election result...
ISSUE 264
1990
COMMENT
Combat Colin escapes the flooding tunnel in an inflatable Combat Sub, only to be captured by surprise villain Madprof (“You’re mad professor! Mentally mad!” “That’s why they call me...Madprof!”) and less memorable baddy Mr Magno. Their planning to mess up national monuments with magnets (next: The Blackpool tower) and cheerfully throw Colin and Steve in the Magna-Room, where the walls slowly move in on them. Though Steve wonders if the humming might be his socks.
From here on in, Lew Stringer will often be providing the highlight of each issue, and in one page he packs more excitement, humour and plot that the lead story manages in six.
Dread Tidings is given over to two very long letters, one from Mark Limerick of Ascot trying to sell a replacement for the VVH called the MISH (Multiple Intensity Stubbie Harmer). Meanwhile Christopher Caudery of RAF Halton writes at length about the time shifts around Galvatron in Aspects of Evil!, which gives the Decepticon a headache.
AtoZ returns after a lengthy absence with Shockwave, who gets a full page, but no alternate mode. Meanwhile the Baroness decides to go along with Fred’s bluff in the other slice of bread in our G.I. Joe: The Action Force sandwich. All whilst the drawn out plot back at the Pitt continues to be drawn out.
Next week, after a month since he vanished, we’re going to need a really good resolution to this Prowl storyline.
All assuming I come back from France and don’t seek asylum after the election result...
ISSUE 264
1990
COMMENT
