Life, It's the Name of the Game.
Issue 249: Skin Deep Part 1/Whose Lifeforce is it Anyway? 16th December 1989.
I was going to say Goldbug, but it seems I’m back to being Bumblebee again! Ah, well, it doesn’t matter! One or the other of me will blow big holes in you if you don’t let Ratchet go!
Whilst I can understand there was almost certainly an edict to feature the new toys where possible, this week’s cover is yet another odd one. The gloriously named new artist, Mario Capaldi (presumably between plumbing gigs and travelling in time and space), provides an adaptation of Staz’ interior art of a close up of Longtooth looking at the Matrix in what is in context a tormented and tragic moment but by itself has him boggling with his one eye at a glowing lump of frozen urine.
Throw in the fact that Longtooth is a new character who doesn’t really look all that much like a Transformer thanks to his ridiculous walrus man Pretender shell and imagine how this must have looked to any floating lapsed fans in the newsagents. “Mr Crap Thundercats Toy has a secret? Ohhhhhhhhh, I’ll definitely be buying this. Not. I was being sarcastic”. The panel the cover is based on has a dying robot in it, which might have at least provided a more striking image for the cover. This is definitely one of those moments basing the cover on the US story would have made more sense from both a dramatic and audience recognition viewpoint. Who wouldn’t want to buy a comic with Grimlock fighting Megatron on the front?
I was going to say Goldbug, but it seems I’m back to being Bumblebee again! Ah, well, it doesn’t matter! One or the other of me will blow big holes in you if you don’t let Ratchet go!
Whilst I can understand there was almost certainly an edict to feature the new toys where possible, this week’s cover is yet another odd one. The gloriously named new artist, Mario Capaldi (presumably between plumbing gigs and travelling in time and space), provides an adaptation of Staz’ interior art of a close up of Longtooth looking at the Matrix in what is in context a tormented and tragic moment but by itself has him boggling with his one eye at a glowing lump of frozen urine.
Throw in the fact that Longtooth is a new character who doesn’t really look all that much like a Transformer thanks to his ridiculous walrus man Pretender shell and imagine how this must have looked to any floating lapsed fans in the newsagents. “Mr Crap Thundercats Toy has a secret? Ohhhhhhhhh, I’ll definitely be buying this. Not. I was being sarcastic”. The panel the cover is based on has a dying robot in it, which might have at least provided a more striking image for the cover. This is definitely one of those moments basing the cover on the US story would have made more sense from both a dramatic and audience recognition viewpoint. Who wouldn’t want to buy a comic with Grimlock fighting Megatron on the front?
"If only I had some sort of protective shell!"
Speaking of which, that’s how Skin Deep opens, with the first properly sympathetic portrayal of Grimlock Americans have seen since 1987. It’s only fleeting here, but Furman quickly makes the point that the Dinobot leader’s bluster is largely a front hiding deep insecurities. Insecurities that have only been added to by a lengthy period dead. The narration describing his fears and his need to lash out is expertly done by Furman, who at this point is really getting the hang of producing prose under the American writing system.
Unfortunately for Grimlock, Furman also remembers fights between him and Megatron don’t tend to go so well for the Autobot, so the poor barely just revived big lug is almost immediately put down by the Decepticon. With a big kick in the belly no less. You should have stayed in your Pretender shell mate.
What follows is a mixture of the brilliant and the clunky. In the former category we get the return of Bumblebee. Who, as can be seen from the quote above, is mildly surprised to have turned back into his original self. But that doesn’t stop him getting a cracking one liner when Megatron ignores his threat and he does indeed shoot him full of holes: “He doesn’t hear as well as he used to, does he?”. Again, it’s worth remembering that readers (on both sides of the Atlantic really in this case) haven’t seen the little yellow VW as anything but Blaster’s bitch in two years.
It’s also absolutely hilarious that the given reason for Ratchet going to the effort of reconstructing Goldbug into Bumblebee is simply personal preference. Not only does that suggest Ratchet has mad skills (or, as Bumblebee puts it, he’s the best surgeon this side of Hydrus Four. Remember that name! It’d be interesting to know if Furman already had plans in place or if he simply decided to use the throwaway name when he devised his Nucleon origin a year down the line) to be able to bother with such a detail during a crisis, but that he’s an incredibly unethical doctor. “You may have just come in for an ingrowing toenail, but I don’t like your face so I’m going to fix it whilst you’re sedated”.
Unfortunately for Grimlock, Furman also remembers fights between him and Megatron don’t tend to go so well for the Autobot, so the poor barely just revived big lug is almost immediately put down by the Decepticon. With a big kick in the belly no less. You should have stayed in your Pretender shell mate.
What follows is a mixture of the brilliant and the clunky. In the former category we get the return of Bumblebee. Who, as can be seen from the quote above, is mildly surprised to have turned back into his original self. But that doesn’t stop him getting a cracking one liner when Megatron ignores his threat and he does indeed shoot him full of holes: “He doesn’t hear as well as he used to, does he?”. Again, it’s worth remembering that readers (on both sides of the Atlantic really in this case) haven’t seen the little yellow VW as anything but Blaster’s bitch in two years.
It’s also absolutely hilarious that the given reason for Ratchet going to the effort of reconstructing Goldbug into Bumblebee is simply personal preference. Not only does that suggest Ratchet has mad skills (or, as Bumblebee puts it, he’s the best surgeon this side of Hydrus Four. Remember that name! It’d be interesting to know if Furman already had plans in place or if he simply decided to use the throwaway name when he devised his Nucleon origin a year down the line) to be able to bother with such a detail during a crisis, but that he’s an incredibly unethical doctor. “You may have just come in for an ingrowing toenail, but I don’t like your face so I’m going to fix it whilst you’re sedated”.
"I do this to all my ugly patients"
On the clunky side though, there is a lot of awkward exposition as recent events are recapped, and Jazz’ (who was reduced to a non-speaking extra a long time before he died. The process of making the “Classic” characters actual characters starts here) focus moment is rather weak as he struggles to slap away the Sports Car Patrol and has to have the fact he can remote control his Pretender shell explained to him.
Amidst all the exposition, Megatron finds out that Ratchet has fiddled with Starscream’s mind, giving us the excuse to cut back to Earth where we discover that whilst all this has been going on...Starscream still hasn’t finished coming out of his Pretender shell. But it gives us a fairly effective cliffhanger as he begins shooting at the massed Decepticons.
At least it’s effective until you realise he’s using his normal null rays. Remember how earlier in the year he was failing to kill these same post-1987 characters with the powers of a God?
Some rough edges aside (where are Dreadwind and Darkwing anyway?), this is successfully carried by the good work on Grimlock and Bumblebee and some fun turns of phrase from Furman. With only two panels on the Earth plot that seems to not be interesting him, Delbo does solid work as well. Even if his Starscream has an odd rictus grim at the end.
Actually, on the art, I wonder why the character models created for the Classic Pretenders (as seen in the TV advert) weren’t put into use here? Or at least that Delbo wasn’t required to draw the toys with their significantly different look to the “Classic” designs seen here. It probably makes sense Ratchet wouldn’t waste time redesigning the guys (well, if not for Bumblebee), but it makes for an odd toy commercial.
Amidst all the exposition, Megatron finds out that Ratchet has fiddled with Starscream’s mind, giving us the excuse to cut back to Earth where we discover that whilst all this has been going on...Starscream still hasn’t finished coming out of his Pretender shell. But it gives us a fairly effective cliffhanger as he begins shooting at the massed Decepticons.
At least it’s effective until you realise he’s using his normal null rays. Remember how earlier in the year he was failing to kill these same post-1987 characters with the powers of a God?
Some rough edges aside (where are Dreadwind and Darkwing anyway?), this is successfully carried by the good work on Grimlock and Bumblebee and some fun turns of phrase from Furman. With only two panels on the Earth plot that seems to not be interesting him, Delbo does solid work as well. Even if his Starscream has an odd rictus grim at the end.
Actually, on the art, I wonder why the character models created for the Classic Pretenders (as seen in the TV advert) weren’t put into use here? Or at least that Delbo wasn’t required to draw the toys with their significantly different look to the “Classic” designs seen here. It probably makes sense Ratchet wouldn’t waste time redesigning the guys (well, if not for Bumblebee), but it makes for an odd toy commercial.
"Yes, this is definitely the part of the issue I shouldn't have a shell"
The black and white story, Whose Lifeforce is it Anyway? (probably a gag on Whose Life is it Anyway? rather than the game-show) is effectively the first of a loose two parter leading into the Christmas issue next week, probably because this issue is actually going to be on sale for more of the Christmas period than its follow up.
It is also hard to read today without being aware of the long swirling whirlpool of hatred that lurks around its lead. For a character whose appearances can be counted on one hand (two British, one American. If I recall correctly he doesn’t even become a background extra) Longtooth has an extraordinary anti-cult built up around him in the fandom. People hate him with a fiery vengeance that burns brighter than a bit of stolen Matrix energy.
Based on this story it seems a tad unfair, beyond his Pretender shell being both terrible and out of place for an Autobot (it would however fit better with Bludgeon and Octopunch, I suspect he switched sides with Stranglehold when someone decided not to have two nautical cons amidst the new Pretenders), indeed this story basically has the same plot as last week’s Starscream story of of a conflicted and broken character finding a new lease of life. Though of course, Starscream being a long established character helped there.
The issue opens with Longtooth charging at a Decepticon prison single handed in a seemingly suicidal run. At least that’s the idea, in practice the short page count means it seems ridiculously easy (the ‘Con defences are a couple of wide shooting guns), making his Pretender colleagues—Doubleheader, he has two heads! LOL, and The Other One AKA Pincher—being so damning of his disobeying of orders and idiotic heroism seem rather over the top. The whole thing looks more like they were cowering in fear in the face of a fairly easy assignment.
This needless lambasting of Longtooth comes to an end however when it’s revealed that Emirate Xaaron wants them back at base to talk about something to do with the Matrix. Which gets Longtooth having a case of the flashbacks...
It is also hard to read today without being aware of the long swirling whirlpool of hatred that lurks around its lead. For a character whose appearances can be counted on one hand (two British, one American. If I recall correctly he doesn’t even become a background extra) Longtooth has an extraordinary anti-cult built up around him in the fandom. People hate him with a fiery vengeance that burns brighter than a bit of stolen Matrix energy.
Based on this story it seems a tad unfair, beyond his Pretender shell being both terrible and out of place for an Autobot (it would however fit better with Bludgeon and Octopunch, I suspect he switched sides with Stranglehold when someone decided not to have two nautical cons amidst the new Pretenders), indeed this story basically has the same plot as last week’s Starscream story of of a conflicted and broken character finding a new lease of life. Though of course, Starscream being a long established character helped there.
The issue opens with Longtooth charging at a Decepticon prison single handed in a seemingly suicidal run. At least that’s the idea, in practice the short page count means it seems ridiculously easy (the ‘Con defences are a couple of wide shooting guns), making his Pretender colleagues—Doubleheader, he has two heads! LOL, and The Other One AKA Pincher—being so damning of his disobeying of orders and idiotic heroism seem rather over the top. The whole thing looks more like they were cowering in fear in the face of a fairly easy assignment.
This needless lambasting of Longtooth comes to an end however when it’s revealed that Emirate Xaaron wants them back at base to talk about something to do with the Matrix. Which gets Longtooth having a case of the flashbacks...
"We'll make real sure to get Prime's old body right for the flashback. Wouldn't want to have any continuity errors!"
Throughout the black and white stories Furman has used the format to take a darker, more serious look at war and its consequences. That continues here as we cut to a distant battlefield in Cybertron’s past, where Longtooth is trying desperately to repair a fallen comrade, not out of any concern for his well-being but because he’s desperate not to be left alone amidst all the carnage and death. A passing Optimus Prime however thinks that his actions are entirely altruistic, and is so impressed he opens his chest and gives Longtooth a fragment of the Matrix to save his friend, after giving a Very Optimus Prime speech.
Longtooth’s fear is of course perfectly understandable and very human, meaning its easy to relate to his impulsive decision to keep the fragment for himself (though the comic carefully shies away from this causing the other Autobots death, it turns out he “Got better” anyway), spending the next four million years using it as an elaborate good luck charm, fuelling his bravery safe in the knowledge he basically has an extra life. He’s now half convinced that Xaaron has found out and he’s going to finally be brought to book for his cowardice.
It’s not though as this is another out of chronology story, in this case, quite a long way and something that certainly has to have been done on purpose this time, notably Xaaron is very careful not to mention why he’s sending groups on a Matrix Quest (tm) so as not to completely spoil everything. Longtooth however isn’t listening as he sees a dead Autobot brought in by comrades singing his praises as a real hero, and he rushes off in disgust at himself for having lived a lie all these millennia. Is it to late for him to start over?
Of course its not, and with so many troops fighting and dying on Cybertron he uses the Matrix fragment to...
Well no, he doesn’t. He doesn’t even try it on the dead guy who has just inspired him. Instead he puts it in a flight pod and sends it to Earth, so its real owner can use it on his own deactivated troops before vowing to rejoin the battle reborn.
This will end well.
Longtooth début certainly isn’t as terrible as his reputation would suggest, but putting such dramatic weight on a new character does rob the story of some of its potential power. It also would have been much stronger if the wounded Autobot had died, without that his sin doesn’t actually seem so bad. However, the darker take on the war continues to bare fruit and the idea of a literally hollow Pretender is a good one. Even if it was done better last week.
Longtooth’s fear is of course perfectly understandable and very human, meaning its easy to relate to his impulsive decision to keep the fragment for himself (though the comic carefully shies away from this causing the other Autobots death, it turns out he “Got better” anyway), spending the next four million years using it as an elaborate good luck charm, fuelling his bravery safe in the knowledge he basically has an extra life. He’s now half convinced that Xaaron has found out and he’s going to finally be brought to book for his cowardice.
It’s not though as this is another out of chronology story, in this case, quite a long way and something that certainly has to have been done on purpose this time, notably Xaaron is very careful not to mention why he’s sending groups on a Matrix Quest (tm) so as not to completely spoil everything. Longtooth however isn’t listening as he sees a dead Autobot brought in by comrades singing his praises as a real hero, and he rushes off in disgust at himself for having lived a lie all these millennia. Is it to late for him to start over?
Of course its not, and with so many troops fighting and dying on Cybertron he uses the Matrix fragment to...
Well no, he doesn’t. He doesn’t even try it on the dead guy who has just inspired him. Instead he puts it in a flight pod and sends it to Earth, so its real owner can use it on his own deactivated troops before vowing to rejoin the battle reborn.
This will end well.
Longtooth début certainly isn’t as terrible as his reputation would suggest, but putting such dramatic weight on a new character does rob the story of some of its potential power. It also would have been much stronger if the wounded Autobot had died, without that his sin doesn’t actually seem so bad. However, the darker take on the war continues to bare fruit and the idea of a literally hollow Pretender is a good one. Even if it was done better last week.
Why not print off and make your own?
Staz does some nice dramatic art, with the panel revealing young Longtooth on the battlefield being especially good, complete with a head on a spike. However, whilst he’s clearly gotten reference material for Longtooth’s robot mode as it’s used in the raid, the script clearly didn’t specify that young Longtooth shouldn’t have a yet to be invented Pretender shell, creating an anachronism. However, its one that will be showing up again, so we can let it off.
Transformation is very excited about next week’s big birthday issue. Though both it and the full page Next Week promo at the end of the issue do struggle to come up with especially exciting features. Considering his popularity I can see why a colour Combat Colin would be mentioned, but when the third most biggest selling point for your comic (behind the wrap-around cover and a competition) is the letters page you might be in trouble. Oddly there’s no attempt to give a hint as to what the actual seasonal strip is going to be about.
Combat Colin provides a brief wrap-up to The Prisoner spoof as Colin pulls the Combat Plane out of his Combat trousers to fly everyone home. The middle of the page is then given over to a cut-out and make yourself version of the plane, before ending with Colin saying its a shame the cut-out is flat unlike the real McCoy. So Steve drops a 16 ton weight on the real plane...Which makes for a rather elaborate set-up for quite a silly gag, but I do love a good silly gag.
In G.I. Joe: The Action Force (now correctly named on the cover) the Joes find that the canister in the sewer is full of toxic gas. They chase Cobra into a disused fancy subway station that is now occupied by the homeless, led by a veteran who feels abandoned by the government after Korea. Which lets Hama do some venting, but it does slow the story down.
Surprisingly AtoZ returns after a lengthy absence with Razorclaw and Red Alert. Sadly it gets the first appearance for Red wrong, claiming issue 200 rather than 15. How can anyone forget “It falls to Red Alert to stop you now”?
Considering the British strip gives readers their first glimpse of The Matrix Quest, it’s fitting that Dreadwind sets up some of its conclusion by clarifying the relationship between Deathbringer and the Creation Matrix in reply to a question from John Donohoe of London.
We also get a more understandable than usual Dreadwind Fails to Answer Questions Properly! as he tells Alex Morrison from Coventry that the conversation in issue 238 about the Air Strike Patrol’s “Agenda” just referred to them being annoyed at working for a Nebulon rather than the scheme with Megatron. Unfortunately Alex ends his letter with a “Da da da bom bom bom dum dum” impression of the cartoon theme tune, leading Dreadwind to ask if he’s a fan of Rolf Harris. Now there’s a joke with a completely different context in 2017.
Oddly Dreadwind manages to answer just about every other question this week with “Metroplex” (biggest Transformer, biggest gun...), maybe that’ll be the new default for everything?
Next week, it’s Christmas! And also time for the Annual and 1989 specials. Which makes this the point its worth mentioning that there hasn’t been a single advert or mention of the Annual, or indeed any of this year’s Marvel hardbacks, in any issue to date. Something seems to have gone a bit sloppy over in the advertising department...
ISSUE 248
1989
COMMENT
Transformation is very excited about next week’s big birthday issue. Though both it and the full page Next Week promo at the end of the issue do struggle to come up with especially exciting features. Considering his popularity I can see why a colour Combat Colin would be mentioned, but when the third most biggest selling point for your comic (behind the wrap-around cover and a competition) is the letters page you might be in trouble. Oddly there’s no attempt to give a hint as to what the actual seasonal strip is going to be about.
Combat Colin provides a brief wrap-up to The Prisoner spoof as Colin pulls the Combat Plane out of his Combat trousers to fly everyone home. The middle of the page is then given over to a cut-out and make yourself version of the plane, before ending with Colin saying its a shame the cut-out is flat unlike the real McCoy. So Steve drops a 16 ton weight on the real plane...Which makes for a rather elaborate set-up for quite a silly gag, but I do love a good silly gag.
In G.I. Joe: The Action Force (now correctly named on the cover) the Joes find that the canister in the sewer is full of toxic gas. They chase Cobra into a disused fancy subway station that is now occupied by the homeless, led by a veteran who feels abandoned by the government after Korea. Which lets Hama do some venting, but it does slow the story down.
Surprisingly AtoZ returns after a lengthy absence with Razorclaw and Red Alert. Sadly it gets the first appearance for Red wrong, claiming issue 200 rather than 15. How can anyone forget “It falls to Red Alert to stop you now”?
Considering the British strip gives readers their first glimpse of The Matrix Quest, it’s fitting that Dreadwind sets up some of its conclusion by clarifying the relationship between Deathbringer and the Creation Matrix in reply to a question from John Donohoe of London.
We also get a more understandable than usual Dreadwind Fails to Answer Questions Properly! as he tells Alex Morrison from Coventry that the conversation in issue 238 about the Air Strike Patrol’s “Agenda” just referred to them being annoyed at working for a Nebulon rather than the scheme with Megatron. Unfortunately Alex ends his letter with a “Da da da bom bom bom dum dum” impression of the cartoon theme tune, leading Dreadwind to ask if he’s a fan of Rolf Harris. Now there’s a joke with a completely different context in 2017.
Oddly Dreadwind manages to answer just about every other question this week with “Metroplex” (biggest Transformer, biggest gun...), maybe that’ll be the new default for everything?
Next week, it’s Christmas! And also time for the Annual and 1989 specials. Which makes this the point its worth mentioning that there hasn’t been a single advert or mention of the Annual, or indeed any of this year’s Marvel hardbacks, in any issue to date. Something seems to have gone a bit sloppy over in the advertising department...
ISSUE 248
1989
COMMENT
