Walk Like a Man, Talk Like a Man...
Issue 219: Recipe For Disaster! Part 3/Survivors! Part 1. 20th May 1989.
I’ve never met a man like you.
First up, in some exciting news, I have formally began work on Transformation Volume 2 so as to give me a head start when I reach issue 222, the last that will be featured in that book. Expect a written Addendum on Action Force: The Movie, plus all new ones on the German stories and Visionaries. Plus, hopefully as an additional bonus some of the stuff I’ve done for convention finals over the last couple of years.
All this, plus everything you’ve read and (hopefully) enjoyed over the last two years alongside some top Andrew Turnbull art and design. Which should hit you either just in time for Christmas or early in the new year.
I know what those of you who have been following this blog from the start have been waiting for: The porridge story. Back as an unsophisticated child I ate porridge for breakfast (I’m more sophisticated now, I usually have a pasty) and liberal amounts of it wound up all over my copy of this issue. I can’t remember if this was due to me or my brother, but the net result is the pages were still and stuck together in a Very Suspicious Way. Imagine how this felt in the days when the comic had folded and there was no chance of a Collected Comics, the only possible opportunity there would ever have been to get a new copy of the Skids story. This haunted me for years before Titan eventually reprinted it, I can tell you.
I’ve never met a man like you.
First up, in some exciting news, I have formally began work on Transformation Volume 2 so as to give me a head start when I reach issue 222, the last that will be featured in that book. Expect a written Addendum on Action Force: The Movie, plus all new ones on the German stories and Visionaries. Plus, hopefully as an additional bonus some of the stuff I’ve done for convention finals over the last couple of years.
All this, plus everything you’ve read and (hopefully) enjoyed over the last two years alongside some top Andrew Turnbull art and design. Which should hit you either just in time for Christmas or early in the new year.
I know what those of you who have been following this blog from the start have been waiting for: The porridge story. Back as an unsophisticated child I ate porridge for breakfast (I’m more sophisticated now, I usually have a pasty) and liberal amounts of it wound up all over my copy of this issue. I can’t remember if this was due to me or my brother, but the net result is the pages were still and stuck together in a Very Suspicious Way. Imagine how this felt in the days when the comic had folded and there was no chance of a Collected Comics, the only possible opportunity there would ever have been to get a new copy of the Skids story. This haunted me for years before Titan eventually reprinted it, I can tell you.
Subtle.
Back in 1989, Recipe for Disaster! Part 3 actually contains a key and long coming moment in Marvel Transformers lore. But first it’s worth talking about Jose Delbo. Anyone who attended the London Comic Con he was at with Bob Budiansky in 2104 will have noticed from the prints he had on display that two things the guy really enjoys drawing are warrior women in bikinis and monsters, perhaps hardly surprising for someone best known outside of Transformers fandom for his work on Wonder Woman. My favourite of the new prints he had on display actually combined these interests with Transformers by having Grimlock being ridden into battle by a warrior woman.
Knowing this, it very much feels as if this story in general and this part in particular was written by Budiansky phoning up his artist and gong “I’m off soon (and also out of ideas), what would you like to draw and I’ll do it as a parting gift”. So Cloudburst and Landmine and brought before the First One, a bald golden bikini clad woman even larger than her underlings. She has little time for the boorish Landmine, but but Landmine being “Sensitive”—or in other words able to talk in sentences clearly—gets her interest.
But being a warrior woman means she also wants him to prove he’s a fighter, so she promises him all the garnishing he wants as long as he shows he’s got stamina. Cue shots of him wrestling a lizard man; dodging robots and jousting on lizard horseback. As you do. All whilst she watches with a massive sword resting in her lap. There’s a subtext here I’m just not quite getting.
Actually, for a story that firmly says the Cybertronians are genderless, sexless beings this is just chock full of inuendo. Even in the very brief scene with Hi-Test and Throttle that opens the issue (which is only there to establish Sky Lynx seeing them combine with Dreadwind and Darkwing to scare off the giant local men) has them talking about a freshly bored hole. Which makes it more amusing when the story suddenly goes all coy about why the women occasionally bring men from the surface down into their cave.
Knowing this, it very much feels as if this story in general and this part in particular was written by Budiansky phoning up his artist and gong “I’m off soon (and also out of ideas), what would you like to draw and I’ll do it as a parting gift”. So Cloudburst and Landmine and brought before the First One, a bald golden bikini clad woman even larger than her underlings. She has little time for the boorish Landmine, but but Landmine being “Sensitive”—or in other words able to talk in sentences clearly—gets her interest.
But being a warrior woman means she also wants him to prove he’s a fighter, so she promises him all the garnishing he wants as long as he shows he’s got stamina. Cue shots of him wrestling a lizard man; dodging robots and jousting on lizard horseback. As you do. All whilst she watches with a massive sword resting in her lap. There’s a subtext here I’m just not quite getting.
Actually, for a story that firmly says the Cybertronians are genderless, sexless beings this is just chock full of inuendo. Even in the very brief scene with Hi-Test and Throttle that opens the issue (which is only there to establish Sky Lynx seeing them combine with Dreadwind and Darkwing to scare off the giant local men) has them talking about a freshly bored hole. Which makes it more amusing when the story suddenly goes all coy about why the women occasionally bring men from the surface down into their cave.
"We do have warm winter underwear though"
But it’s when Cloudburst goes with the First One to her private rooms for his “Reward”. And it’s here we learn the amazing truth that, yes...Pretender shells have long johns on under the spacesuit thing. Though in the context of the wider story, if the mimicry process goes as far as underwear you have to wonder how far the disguise part goes with the fleshy bits. What might Cloudburst have under his long johns?
Under the shell though, Cloudburst isn’t human. He emphatically tells the First One that “Where I come from, there are no men, no women...no mates!”. As I’ve said before, it’s actually surprising it’s Budiansky rather than Furman (who is very much on record as not liking female Transformers, it’s worth noting IDW was—until other writers chucked it out—the only other continuity where this is firmly the case and that was down to Furman) who actually firmly says this.
Considering it’s a depressing aspect of Western society that “Male” is treated as the default or neutral gender (and it’s a flaw of Furman’s take on things that he thinks the girl needs explaining but the boys don’t) it’s also surprisingly bold and progressive for Cloudburst to flat out say he is neither man or woman regardless of pronoun (which, in a comic that normally treats language as no barrier explains the focus on the translators last week, we’re hearing how he—and presumably every other Transformer—describe themselves through a filter that may not reflect their original words entirely) and can’t give the First One what she wants. It’s a surprisingly subtle and thoughtful take on gender relations coming from a character who is talking to a woman in a gold metal bikini.
This is easily the best instalment of the story to date, you get some good humour with Landmine being shunned (ironically as he acts like a stereotypical man), a well realised sequence of fight panels that shows Delbo really was enjoying it and an ending that is not only smarter than expected, but also subverts the “All she needs is a good seeing too” cliché of Planet of the Women stories I talked about last week.
Under the shell though, Cloudburst isn’t human. He emphatically tells the First One that “Where I come from, there are no men, no women...no mates!”. As I’ve said before, it’s actually surprising it’s Budiansky rather than Furman (who is very much on record as not liking female Transformers, it’s worth noting IDW was—until other writers chucked it out—the only other continuity where this is firmly the case and that was down to Furman) who actually firmly says this.
Considering it’s a depressing aspect of Western society that “Male” is treated as the default or neutral gender (and it’s a flaw of Furman’s take on things that he thinks the girl needs explaining but the boys don’t) it’s also surprisingly bold and progressive for Cloudburst to flat out say he is neither man or woman regardless of pronoun (which, in a comic that normally treats language as no barrier explains the focus on the translators last week, we’re hearing how he—and presumably every other Transformer—describe themselves through a filter that may not reflect their original words entirely) and can’t give the First One what she wants. It’s a surprisingly subtle and thoughtful take on gender relations coming from a character who is talking to a woman in a gold metal bikini.
This is easily the best instalment of the story to date, you get some good humour with Landmine being shunned (ironically as he acts like a stereotypical man), a well realised sequence of fight panels that shows Delbo really was enjoying it and an ending that is not only smarter than expected, but also subverts the “All she needs is a good seeing too” cliché of Planet of the Women stories I talked about last week.
"That's not my face!"
In the black and white half of the issue, it’s probably Dan Reed’s art that really stands out. But we’ll come to that last. Appropriately for the last story written for the 11 page format (again, as two issues now cut into four) Survivors! wraps up and feeds into a lot of plots going back over 100 issues, giving it a nice end of an era feel.
As boasted about with the cover, Skids is back! In limbo since issue 101, he’s been dumped back on Earth next to a nuclear powerplant. This in itself feels very old school, shenanigans in power stations in the most basic Transformers plot but I don’t think we’ve had one since Arielbots Over America! However, Skids isn’t there to steal energy, he’s on the run from shadowy monsters. It’s a shame the cover tagline is “Never in your wildest dreams!” helps remind the reader of the monsters that were tormenting Skids in his dreams when we saw him in limbo back in Time Wars, as there’s clearly an attempt to create a bit of mystery about what these things are. John Stoke’s cover also gives us a good look at the monsters themselves (though his art is more sedate than Reed’s).
This rampage this actually well done though, with a good sense of a desperate struggle as the Mystery Monsters chase Skids whilst creepily telling they are part of him and he gave them life. No doubt Skids running right into the reactor room will end well.
The last two pages are given over to wrapping up another old plot thread as we pick up on the Wreckers. Trapped on Earth thanks to Megatron stealing their ship “Weeks ago”, they’ve spent the time helping Optimus Prime and the Earth based Autobots deal with Starscream and the Underbase…
As boasted about with the cover, Skids is back! In limbo since issue 101, he’s been dumped back on Earth next to a nuclear powerplant. This in itself feels very old school, shenanigans in power stations in the most basic Transformers plot but I don’t think we’ve had one since Arielbots Over America! However, Skids isn’t there to steal energy, he’s on the run from shadowy monsters. It’s a shame the cover tagline is “Never in your wildest dreams!” helps remind the reader of the monsters that were tormenting Skids in his dreams when we saw him in limbo back in Time Wars, as there’s clearly an attempt to create a bit of mystery about what these things are. John Stoke’s cover also gives us a good look at the monsters themselves (though his art is more sedate than Reed’s).
This rampage this actually well done though, with a good sense of a desperate struggle as the Mystery Monsters chase Skids whilst creepily telling they are part of him and he gave them life. No doubt Skids running right into the reactor room will end well.
The last two pages are given over to wrapping up another old plot thread as we pick up on the Wreckers. Trapped on Earth thanks to Megatron stealing their ship “Weeks ago”, they’ve spent the time helping Optimus Prime and the Earth based Autobots deal with Starscream and the Underbase…
Five minuets earlier they were passing the time with a sing-along.
No, wait. They’ve been sitting around camping and bemoaning their lot. When Catilla and Carnivac turn up in the new Pretender shells Scorponok gave them for working for him during The Man in the Machine! (Catilla was there apparently, but helping behind the scenes as he knows Uncle Bob would have only thought of him as an Autobot toy) it just makes the Autobots look lazy. It’s not really clear why they and a clearly unimpressed Snarler think pooling resources with the Wreckers is worth doing when they had their own spaceship, but it makes for an odd faux cliffhanger of a petulant slagging match between Snarler and Broadside.
As ever, cutting the 11 pages in half hurts the flow as it doesn’t give the plot chance to move much beyond what was clearly intended to be a pre-credits style sequence of the panicked Skids. But it’s got an interesting sense of building dread and Springer is always good value.
The art, the last drawn for colour, suffers from the opposite problem of Andrew Wildman’s in the last story. Rather than too little detail, the art here is actually too dense and crowded and clearly in need of the colour to help different things stand out distinctly visually. It’s telling Reed would never work during the intended black and white era (though paying his expenses for sending the art in from France may have been a factor now budget wise) as it really doesn’t work very well.
But Skids is what stands out, famously having the Diaclone toy’s alternate face that was never used on Transformers during the 80’s but which would pop up on the silver Crosscut version that was put out with the reissue. This faceplate version was used on the instructions to the toy, so presumably Reed had lost some of the reference material he’d originally been sent when he’d started working on the book and had to use the instructions for reference. The real question is why Marvel UK, who presumably sent him the instructions when he phoned up and said “Err, what does Skids look like?” (if he’d managed to go out and buy a Skids toy in Paris in 1989 he’d presumably have just used that for reference), didn’t just send him a copy of Transformers: Universe. Which would have been more likely to by lying around the office than a four year old set of toy packaging.
Mind, though it’s the face is the most famous thing is wrong, Reed’s (and Stokes on the cover who is clearly just copying what Reed has drawn) character model for Skids is well off in many way, the backpack in particular is unlike the animation design, toy or instructions. So it’s not entirely impossible he was just guessing from memory and hit on the faceplate by accident. Either way it’s a shame that a story that so depends on Skids emotional state removes his ability to easily express those emotions.
As ever, cutting the 11 pages in half hurts the flow as it doesn’t give the plot chance to move much beyond what was clearly intended to be a pre-credits style sequence of the panicked Skids. But it’s got an interesting sense of building dread and Springer is always good value.
The art, the last drawn for colour, suffers from the opposite problem of Andrew Wildman’s in the last story. Rather than too little detail, the art here is actually too dense and crowded and clearly in need of the colour to help different things stand out distinctly visually. It’s telling Reed would never work during the intended black and white era (though paying his expenses for sending the art in from France may have been a factor now budget wise) as it really doesn’t work very well.
But Skids is what stands out, famously having the Diaclone toy’s alternate face that was never used on Transformers during the 80’s but which would pop up on the silver Crosscut version that was put out with the reissue. This faceplate version was used on the instructions to the toy, so presumably Reed had lost some of the reference material he’d originally been sent when he’d started working on the book and had to use the instructions for reference. The real question is why Marvel UK, who presumably sent him the instructions when he phoned up and said “Err, what does Skids look like?” (if he’d managed to go out and buy a Skids toy in Paris in 1989 he’d presumably have just used that for reference), didn’t just send him a copy of Transformers: Universe. Which would have been more likely to by lying around the office than a four year old set of toy packaging.
Mind, though it’s the face is the most famous thing is wrong, Reed’s (and Stokes on the cover who is clearly just copying what Reed has drawn) character model for Skids is well off in many way, the backpack in particular is unlike the animation design, toy or instructions. So it’s not entirely impossible he was just guessing from memory and hit on the faceplate by accident. Either way it’s a shame that a story that so depends on Skids emotional state removes his ability to easily express those emotions.
Too late for Universal to sue?
Transformation, possibly uniquely for this era, gives the entire bulk of the page over to the American story. Survivors! is in fact relegated to the bottom of the sidebar, with the top taken up with the promise of the return of Action Force next week.
Appropriately as the story that is basically the last hurrah of the original Autobot Pretenders, a full page advert for the Micromaster Rescue, Sports Car and Battle Patrol teams follows the American story. Screaming “ACTUAL SIZE” this attempt to jump on the Micro Machines bandwagon will actually be one of the more successful efforts to keep the brand alive as it starts to wind down. This takes the place of Dread Tidings, meaning there’s no chance to provide any Dreadwind Fails to Answer Questions Properly! this week.
Visionaries end on a bit of a whimper as it’s given fully over to Merklynn promoting the toys by giving everyone their chest hologram and magic staffs whilst explaining each character’s...well character. It’s not the best ending to an otherwise fun series, but of course originally it wasn’t the ending, which we’ve already seen. It’s probably a good thing they stopped reprinting it at this point.
Combat Colin takes us through his photo album, letting us see him as a baby with a machine gun and in a pram with a grenade. Though it was when he turned his next pram into a tank his parents started to worry.
Next week, Skids is going to need either a pram tank or brown trousers.
ISSUE 218
1989
COMMENT
Appropriately as the story that is basically the last hurrah of the original Autobot Pretenders, a full page advert for the Micromaster Rescue, Sports Car and Battle Patrol teams follows the American story. Screaming “ACTUAL SIZE” this attempt to jump on the Micro Machines bandwagon will actually be one of the more successful efforts to keep the brand alive as it starts to wind down. This takes the place of Dread Tidings, meaning there’s no chance to provide any Dreadwind Fails to Answer Questions Properly! this week.
Visionaries end on a bit of a whimper as it’s given fully over to Merklynn promoting the toys by giving everyone their chest hologram and magic staffs whilst explaining each character’s...well character. It’s not the best ending to an otherwise fun series, but of course originally it wasn’t the ending, which we’ve already seen. It’s probably a good thing they stopped reprinting it at this point.
Combat Colin takes us through his photo album, letting us see him as a baby with a machine gun and in a pram with a grenade. Though it was when he turned his next pram into a tank his parents started to worry.
Next week, Skids is going to need either a pram tank or brown trousers.
ISSUE 218
1989
COMMENT
