Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time.
Issue 3: Ice Breaker. 8th December 2011.
Um, would you like a mince pie? They’re Cybertron-size!
This issue marks the rather melancholy end of an era, giving us the last ever British Transformers Christmas story. It’s been mildly impressive we got two in the monthly(ish) format of the Titan book, but by the end of 2012, gaps between issues would have become too wide to make it practical.
It’s also mildly surprising that this is by Etherington rather than Furman, sharing as it does a title with a John Gardner James Bond novel.
The story itself is split between two narratives, one plot and one more focused on celebrating the season.
The plot side, sees the Russian icebreaking (it’s a literal title) ship Yamel is on its way to deliver families to a US Antarctic research centre for Christmas. Sadly their journey is interrupted by Megatron, who seizes the boat and welcomes everyone to the “Decepticon navy!”.
Um, would you like a mince pie? They’re Cybertron-size!
This issue marks the rather melancholy end of an era, giving us the last ever British Transformers Christmas story. It’s been mildly impressive we got two in the monthly(ish) format of the Titan book, but by the end of 2012, gaps between issues would have become too wide to make it practical.
It’s also mildly surprising that this is by Etherington rather than Furman, sharing as it does a title with a John Gardner James Bond novel.
The story itself is split between two narratives, one plot and one more focused on celebrating the season.
The plot side, sees the Russian icebreaking (it’s a literal title) ship Yamel is on its way to deliver families to a US Antarctic research centre for Christmas. Sadly their journey is interrupted by Megatron, who seizes the boat and welcomes everyone to the “Decepticon navy!”.
Kiss me, you fool.
So, in the midst of their Christmas celebrations (complete with giant tree), Agent Fowler arrives at Omega One. Bemoaning his car being caught in a snow drift (so presumably he doesn’t live anywhere near the desert the show takes place in), his wife having a chicken instead of a turkey, trapped wind and the hijacking.
Interestingly the cartoon will later reveal he’s divorced, so that meal can’t have gone well.
Prime leads a team through the ground-bridge, finding the crew unconscious from Starscream’s “Static lance”. Which, as Megatron gleefully explains, will be used to set off the boat’s nuclear reactors (two reactors seems excessive for what looks a small boat), flushing out all the underwater energon and possibly ending life on Earth BWA HA HA HA.
Which may have been a mistake, as it gives Prime the simple solution of having Bumblebee chuck him the captured lance and use it on Megatron instead. Allowing the Russians to deliver the families and grab a proper cup of coffee.
Interestingly the cartoon will later reveal he’s divorced, so that meal can’t have gone well.
Prime leads a team through the ground-bridge, finding the crew unconscious from Starscream’s “Static lance”. Which, as Megatron gleefully explains, will be used to set off the boat’s nuclear reactors (two reactors seems excessive for what looks a small boat), flushing out all the underwater energon and possibly ending life on Earth BWA HA HA HA.
Which may have been a mistake, as it gives Prime the simple solution of having Bumblebee chuck him the captured lance and use it on Megatron instead. Allowing the Russians to deliver the families and grab a proper cup of coffee.
The other side of the story is back at base, with Arcee forced to look after the humans with Bulkhead. Not only does she not like babysitting (“I’m programmed for butt-kicking, not butt-wiping”), she really doesn’t like Bulkhead either. Like, at all.
Raf suggests a simple Christmas parlour game of talking about things they like... Which goes badly (“I can’t believe you hate what I like!” “Well, I can’t believe you like what you like!”), resulting in more tension than on the icebreaker.
Miko then suggests everyone agree on one thing they all like about winter and they then recreate it on the base.
Returning from their mission, the quickly knocked out in the fight Ratchet is telling Prime he’ll be glad to avoid all ice for a while...
Raf suggests a simple Christmas parlour game of talking about things they like... Which goes badly (“I can’t believe you hate what I like!” “Well, I can’t believe you like what you like!”), resulting in more tension than on the icebreaker.
Miko then suggests everyone agree on one thing they all like about winter and they then recreate it on the base.
Returning from their mission, the quickly knocked out in the fight Ratchet is telling Prime he’ll be glad to avoid all ice for a while...
Merry Christmas, everyone.
...before going arse over tit on the impromptu ice-rink that has been created in their base after it turns out Bulkhead and Arcee both love ice-skating.
Wah, wah wah.
Despite Arcee and Bulkhead being largely out of character (they get on fine in the show), this is quite good fun, if not on the same level as the first two issues. It’s more fluffy and the boat plot is just there to have some sort of action scene, but with more solid art from Jeremy Tiongson, it’s a decent way for the Christmas stories to bow out.
For Christmas, we get another annoyingly oversized cover, with cut out baubles (Decepticons on one side, Autobots on the other) and a Merry Megatron Mask! on the other. SPOILER: He is not very merry.
Wah, wah wah.
Despite Arcee and Bulkhead being largely out of character (they get on fine in the show), this is quite good fun, if not on the same level as the first two issues. It’s more fluffy and the boat plot is just there to have some sort of action scene, but with more solid art from Jeremy Tiongson, it’s a decent way for the Christmas stories to bow out.
For Christmas, we get another annoyingly oversized cover, with cut out baubles (Decepticons on one side, Autobots on the other) and a Merry Megatron Mask! on the other. SPOILER: He is not very merry.
About as merry as he gets.
Inside, a character with good reason not to feel merry is Bulkhead, with his profile not only spelling his name wrong at times, but also repeating how stupid he is. Including presumably being too dumb to work out the Photo Mash Up puzzle on the same page.
Episode Guide covers the third episode, and is definitely starting to feel like it’s going to be a struggle to fill a spread for every single show. Did they not know most kids could just go look at the Wiki?
Raf’s Code based competitions are for a variety of NERF guns; the appropriate Ice Age A Mammoth Christmas and Spooky X-Ray Model Kits!!
Most exciting thing this month though is Kre-O Transformers, a one page gag photo strip done using a make your own comic feature of the Cartoon Network site (which gets the only credit). Megatron is being smug to Starscream about what a powerful leader he is... until the much larger Prime Kre-O comes into frame and steps on him.
Slapstick at its finest.
Presumably to make room for this, Starscream’s Stumpers is only one page, and he’s not awarding any points for right answers as he’s not feeling very festive.
Mega-Mouth sees Megatron celebrate “The season for destruction” by praising Conner Mitchell (8, Hull) and his drawing of Shockwave. Though he again gets confused and talks as if Movie Shockwave was one of his troops.
Episode Guide covers the third episode, and is definitely starting to feel like it’s going to be a struggle to fill a spread for every single show. Did they not know most kids could just go look at the Wiki?
Raf’s Code based competitions are for a variety of NERF guns; the appropriate Ice Age A Mammoth Christmas and Spooky X-Ray Model Kits!!
Most exciting thing this month though is Kre-O Transformers, a one page gag photo strip done using a make your own comic feature of the Cartoon Network site (which gets the only credit). Megatron is being smug to Starscream about what a powerful leader he is... until the much larger Prime Kre-O comes into frame and steps on him.
Slapstick at its finest.
Presumably to make room for this, Starscream’s Stumpers is only one page, and he’s not awarding any points for right answers as he’s not feeling very festive.
Mega-Mouth sees Megatron celebrate “The season for destruction” by praising Conner Mitchell (8, Hull) and his drawing of Shockwave. Though he again gets confused and talks as if Movie Shockwave was one of his troops.
Right in the middle of them really trying to make Kre-O a thing.
An extra Christmas present comes from Bradley (13), who writes in praise of the Decepticons and lets Megatron slag off Jetfire (maybe he is Movie Megatron after all). Though as Arcee points out, a nice drawing of Prime by William Osbourne (12, Mid Glam) only makes Megatron jealous.
Raf’s Codebreakers is another hunt the character on the map (Jack), whilst Miko’s Christmas Wordsearch (which impressive gets her name wrong as “Mika” again under a giant logo with the correct spelling) has you looking for phrases such as “I love Bulky” and uses what you would now recognise as the No Time to Die font.
But what’s more Christmas than Bond?
A Transformers annual of course...
ISSUE 2
2011
COMMENT
KO-FI
Raf’s Codebreakers is another hunt the character on the map (Jack), whilst Miko’s Christmas Wordsearch (which impressive gets her name wrong as “Mika” again under a giant logo with the correct spelling) has you looking for phrases such as “I love Bulky” and uses what you would now recognise as the No Time to Die font.
But what’s more Christmas than Bond?
A Transformers annual of course...
ISSUE 2
2011
COMMENT
KO-FI
