Wherever I Lay My Hat, That's My Home.
Issue 182: Space Pirates! Part 1. 3rd September 1988.
If they cancel my series now, a whole planet’s worth of actors will be made redundant!
This is one of the strange moments in this project where we reach an issue that has much more significance to me that it will be for anyone else. Though uniquely in this case it’s the absence of this issue that means this is going to be a rather self-indulgent piece, as this is the one before the very first issue of the book I ever read.
That means there has always been a mystery to issue 182 for me, one that’s lasted since before I ever started paying attention to issue numbers, something accentuated by the fact I missed the beginning of my very first Simon Furman epic. Of course, nothing in life is ever especially neat, so the perfect narrative of being able to say “And I never found out how Space Pirates! started until I was an adult” is undone by the fact that the first three parts were included in a Collected Comics when I was still actually a child. And as I kept that comic (having fallen into the habit of properly storing them around Time Wars, I was nothing if not an early adopter of nerdishness) it was actually remembering how the story ended that often proved more difficult despite this opening still having a power to it.
And let’s be honest here rather than next week where it will ruin the magic: Part 2 is the first issue of the comic I remember, and it was indeed my first regular issue and bought for me under very specific circumstances that stand out in my memory. But can I firmly say I had never seen, or even owned an issue before that? It’s impossible. But my memory is much neater and makes for a better story, so no one spoil it when I do get round to telling the story of my Very First Issue Honest.
If they cancel my series now, a whole planet’s worth of actors will be made redundant!
This is one of the strange moments in this project where we reach an issue that has much more significance to me that it will be for anyone else. Though uniquely in this case it’s the absence of this issue that means this is going to be a rather self-indulgent piece, as this is the one before the very first issue of the book I ever read.
That means there has always been a mystery to issue 182 for me, one that’s lasted since before I ever started paying attention to issue numbers, something accentuated by the fact I missed the beginning of my very first Simon Furman epic. Of course, nothing in life is ever especially neat, so the perfect narrative of being able to say “And I never found out how Space Pirates! started until I was an adult” is undone by the fact that the first three parts were included in a Collected Comics when I was still actually a child. And as I kept that comic (having fallen into the habit of properly storing them around Time Wars, I was nothing if not an early adopter of nerdishness) it was actually remembering how the story ended that often proved more difficult despite this opening still having a power to it.
And let’s be honest here rather than next week where it will ruin the magic: Part 2 is the first issue of the comic I remember, and it was indeed my first regular issue and bought for me under very specific circumstances that stand out in my memory. But can I firmly say I had never seen, or even owned an issue before that? It’s impossible. But my memory is much neater and makes for a better story, so no one spoil it when I do get round to telling the story of my Very First Issue Honest.
"Boy do I hope my arm doesn't get used as phallic imagery next week"
The story that kicks off here is actually exactly the sort of thing I love and not something the comic had really done to any great extent: Big planet hoping space opera, perfect for a young Star Trek fan (we’d have just been getting the VHS rental tapes of The Next Generation at this time), it also basically requires no prior knowledge of Transformers beyond having seen the one piece of tie-in media I’d have already known backwards: Transformers: The Movie. If they were specifically trying to hook me these were all very smart decisions, only marred by making the attention grabbing new look relaunch issue the next one.
Indeed, this is clearly a big relaunch issue in every way except that of actually being one. A major new lead story starting, the current story in the backup having finished leaving the stage clear for the new one to start and a big competition to grab passing interest. It’s so perfectly set up for the new look that it’s hard to fathom why it isn’t.
There are two possible reasons for this. The first is that the new backup won’t be starting till next week, if it wasn’t ready for whatever reason Furman/Marvel may have decided to hold off until it was, especially if Hasbro were keen for Visionaries to get one final push. After all the only reason for carrying that title over is because Hasbro would have been keen on keeping the brand alive in some way shape or form.
It’s more likely to me though that at some point along the process either Furman or someone else noticed there was a drastic flaw in presenting this issue at the centrepiece of a Brand New Look for Transformers: The absence of actual Transformers. Wreck-Gar is the only character in the whole 11 pages with a toy (and though the Secret Files padding in the cartoon would say he’s an Autobot, the comic will only ever treat him as a non-Cybertronian who just happens to transform), indeed with everyone else being a dream in the previous story this is the third issue in a row where he’s the only “Real” known character in it. And even if you were going to base a relaunch around a one character issue, the chances are Wreck-Gar would feature pretty low on your list. Next week will at least increase the number of Autobots—albeit with the major ones being Arcee and Wheelie—making for something that will be more appealing as a New Readers Start Here point.
Indeed, this is clearly a big relaunch issue in every way except that of actually being one. A major new lead story starting, the current story in the backup having finished leaving the stage clear for the new one to start and a big competition to grab passing interest. It’s so perfectly set up for the new look that it’s hard to fathom why it isn’t.
There are two possible reasons for this. The first is that the new backup won’t be starting till next week, if it wasn’t ready for whatever reason Furman/Marvel may have decided to hold off until it was, especially if Hasbro were keen for Visionaries to get one final push. After all the only reason for carrying that title over is because Hasbro would have been keen on keeping the brand alive in some way shape or form.
It’s more likely to me though that at some point along the process either Furman or someone else noticed there was a drastic flaw in presenting this issue at the centrepiece of a Brand New Look for Transformers: The absence of actual Transformers. Wreck-Gar is the only character in the whole 11 pages with a toy (and though the Secret Files padding in the cartoon would say he’s an Autobot, the comic will only ever treat him as a non-Cybertronian who just happens to transform), indeed with everyone else being a dream in the previous story this is the third issue in a row where he’s the only “Real” known character in it. And even if you were going to base a relaunch around a one character issue, the chances are Wreck-Gar would feature pretty low on your list. Next week will at least increase the number of Autobots—albeit with the major ones being Arcee and Wheelie—making for something that will be more appealing as a New Readers Start Here point.
"I shall call him Mini Me"
At least as much as any comic all about Wreck-Gar, Arcee and Wheelie can be anyway.
The story itself is interesting in ways that won’t quite become apparent yet, but this is effectively Furman writing Transformers: The Movie 2. Even more so than The Legacy of Unicron!, this has almost nothing to do with the ongoing Galvatron plot (and what minimum connection there is will only become apparent right at the very end) and is instead him picking up on lose ends and characters from the film and building a story around them. I’d be curious to know how much of this was in Furman’s mind already and how much was inspired by having to work around the cartoon adaptation of the last two weeks, though the fact the canister is treated as just a McGuffin does create the feeling of a useful thread from the unwanted intrusion on the comic that’s been slotted into an already fermenting plot.
The main sign of the film connection is the use of the Quintessons. I know they’re not everyone’s cup of tea, but I’ve always loved the five faced fiends. They look fantastic, like something the Jim Henson workshop would have come up with for Farscape, and their demented justice system is great fun. They’re also exactly the sort of bonkers looking creatures that Dan Reed was born to drawn, making this his best issue yet.
The opening here is mainly exposition: Quintesson is doomed (the idea of its destruction suggesting Furman was at least aware of Five Faces of Darkness), something that is presented as the result of natural—if unexpectedly advanced—orbital decay but which will gain more significance at the end of the story. Special Guest Villain General Ghyrik (one of the guards from the film with guns for arms. This will be an unfortunate choice as far as next week’s cover is concerned but at least means he’s handier in a fight that a giant floating head would have been) quite happily explains this to a room full of fellow Quintessons who already know it.
In return Lord Kledji (one of the five faced types, but clearly having eaten all the pies in comparison to the other example in the room) tells Ghyrik all about the Trawler Project he already knows all about. This involved sending the famously sneaky Sharkticons out to scan every suitable metal planet they can find for colonisation, then filing a report with a satellite that then delivered all the collected data in a canister that has unfortunately ended up in the hands of Wreck-Gar thanks to a “Freak Cosmic Storm”. Considering how freaky a regular cosmic storm is likely to be I dread to think what that was like. With him not giving up the location of where he’s hidden the canister that means they’re forced to go for their default choice: Cybertron.
This leads us to our main Character You’d Actually Recognise From Prior Issues. Wreck-Gar isn’t everyone’s cup of tea either but, though I’m not as keen on him as I am on the Quintessons, I do actually enjoy his skit of talking TV and we get some glorious ones here, including one to the tagline of Jaws 2 when he falls into Sharkticon infested water.
Unfortunately however he does continue his worrying interest in Jimmy Savile hosted television with a Top of the Pops namecheck.
The story itself is interesting in ways that won’t quite become apparent yet, but this is effectively Furman writing Transformers: The Movie 2. Even more so than The Legacy of Unicron!, this has almost nothing to do with the ongoing Galvatron plot (and what minimum connection there is will only become apparent right at the very end) and is instead him picking up on lose ends and characters from the film and building a story around them. I’d be curious to know how much of this was in Furman’s mind already and how much was inspired by having to work around the cartoon adaptation of the last two weeks, though the fact the canister is treated as just a McGuffin does create the feeling of a useful thread from the unwanted intrusion on the comic that’s been slotted into an already fermenting plot.
The main sign of the film connection is the use of the Quintessons. I know they’re not everyone’s cup of tea, but I’ve always loved the five faced fiends. They look fantastic, like something the Jim Henson workshop would have come up with for Farscape, and their demented justice system is great fun. They’re also exactly the sort of bonkers looking creatures that Dan Reed was born to drawn, making this his best issue yet.
The opening here is mainly exposition: Quintesson is doomed (the idea of its destruction suggesting Furman was at least aware of Five Faces of Darkness), something that is presented as the result of natural—if unexpectedly advanced—orbital decay but which will gain more significance at the end of the story. Special Guest Villain General Ghyrik (one of the guards from the film with guns for arms. This will be an unfortunate choice as far as next week’s cover is concerned but at least means he’s handier in a fight that a giant floating head would have been) quite happily explains this to a room full of fellow Quintessons who already know it.
In return Lord Kledji (one of the five faced types, but clearly having eaten all the pies in comparison to the other example in the room) tells Ghyrik all about the Trawler Project he already knows all about. This involved sending the famously sneaky Sharkticons out to scan every suitable metal planet they can find for colonisation, then filing a report with a satellite that then delivered all the collected data in a canister that has unfortunately ended up in the hands of Wreck-Gar thanks to a “Freak Cosmic Storm”. Considering how freaky a regular cosmic storm is likely to be I dread to think what that was like. With him not giving up the location of where he’s hidden the canister that means they’re forced to go for their default choice: Cybertron.
This leads us to our main Character You’d Actually Recognise From Prior Issues. Wreck-Gar isn’t everyone’s cup of tea either but, though I’m not as keen on him as I am on the Quintessons, I do actually enjoy his skit of talking TV and we get some glorious ones here, including one to the tagline of Jaws 2 when he falls into Sharkticon infested water.
Unfortunately however he does continue his worrying interest in Jimmy Savile hosted television with a Top of the Pops namecheck.
"OK, I won't mention Jimmy Savile again. How about we sing some Cliff Richard instead?"
We do actually get a bit more meat in Wreck-Gar’s character than we’ve had previously as he has to deal with the consequences of his actions. The Quintessons had been wary of attacking Cybertron before due to the presence of the Matrix (the first time the comic treats it as a default Plot Off device, though they’re nicely genre savvy about it), but with him having removed the research on their other options and there being no time left for Quintesson he’s effectively condemned his Autobot friends to a massive invasion. This guilt drives his attempted escape (“Are you suffering from a tense nervous headache? No? You are now!”) and gives him a much harder edge as he mows down guards and steals a boat. Unfortunately the Sharkticons prove too much for him and he’s dragged under the water...
Impressively this strong, and rather horrific, image isn’t the cliff-hanger, but rather a bait and switch is. Having firmly established the Quintessons target is Earth we instead see the Ghyrik led invasion force head for... Autobot City Earth. It’s an intriguing ending to an intriguing opening. It’s very talky and very much about getting the pieces into place, but there’s a sense of foreboding here as well and as set up it’s generally very solid.
Transformation actually makes the Movie connection explicit, with it being telling that it actually claims the Quintessons haven’t been seen in the comic before but might be recognised from the film. As opposed to, say, the previous two weeks. Someone really didn’t like that reprint. We’re also assured Action Force will be back soon. Yay?
The big perfect for a relaunch competition is to win some bike courtesy of Tony the Tiger by designing the perfect bike for 2001. Tony’s own effort is mildly amusing but you’ll be more terrified by the frankly horrific real life Tony standing next to the competition prizes. No wonder he’s normally represented by a drawing.
In lieu of the normal backup we get a full reprint of a Combat Colin story from Action Force’s old comic as he takes on the Kung Fu Penguins. I’ve mentioned before that one of the advantages of Colin having started in another book is we got to skip the development and evolution of the character and see him fully formed, so it’s interesting to go back and see him in an earlier state here. The humour is a little more scattershot—the story involves Auntie Arctic stealing the pyramids and the connection to the actual Kung Fu Penguins is rather forced—and juvenile with a joke about a terrorist in drag highjacking a plane having false tits especially feeling like something the strip would do now.
Impressively this strong, and rather horrific, image isn’t the cliff-hanger, but rather a bait and switch is. Having firmly established the Quintessons target is Earth we instead see the Ghyrik led invasion force head for... Autobot City Earth. It’s an intriguing ending to an intriguing opening. It’s very talky and very much about getting the pieces into place, but there’s a sense of foreboding here as well and as set up it’s generally very solid.
Transformation actually makes the Movie connection explicit, with it being telling that it actually claims the Quintessons haven’t been seen in the comic before but might be recognised from the film. As opposed to, say, the previous two weeks. Someone really didn’t like that reprint. We’re also assured Action Force will be back soon. Yay?
The big perfect for a relaunch competition is to win some bike courtesy of Tony the Tiger by designing the perfect bike for 2001. Tony’s own effort is mildly amusing but you’ll be more terrified by the frankly horrific real life Tony standing next to the competition prizes. No wonder he’s normally represented by a drawing.
In lieu of the normal backup we get a full reprint of a Combat Colin story from Action Force’s old comic as he takes on the Kung Fu Penguins. I’ve mentioned before that one of the advantages of Colin having started in another book is we got to skip the development and evolution of the character and see him fully formed, so it’s interesting to go back and see him in an earlier state here. The humour is a little more scattershot—the story involves Auntie Arctic stealing the pyramids and the connection to the actual Kung Fu Penguins is rather forced—and juvenile with a joke about a terrorist in drag highjacking a plane having false tits especially feeling like something the strip would do now.
I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL.
Though equally imagine any kids comedy strip doing a funny terrorist highjack now.
Despite this it’s still great fun, with the most notable thing about it being Colin and Steve seeming to die at the end after Colin sets off his nuclear underpants. How did they get out of that?
The big thing this week though is the final Grimgrams, at over 100 issues this feels like much more of an event than the departure of Soundwave, and the excuse in the special opening preamble to the page of Grimlock finding it hard to get his mail on the moon is both funny and closer to a follow up to Totalled! and its fallout than Uncle Bob will give us.
Sadly however the final letters aren’t especially exciting, with only Peter Oxley of Wrexham pointing out how difficult it was to get his mother to buy Dragon’s Claws thanks to that last second name change standing out. I wonder how many potential sales were lost thanks to kids not having mothers’ as diligent as Peter’s?
Despite it not being the greatest page to sign off on, Grimlock remains very much the letters page answerer, the one everyone remembers and still talks about. Chances are if a default image is needed to represent the page anywhere online it will be his. Those are big shoes that need to be filled, and no one will ever quite manage
(That is mainly written for Ralph Burns who thinks Grimlock is real. Furman will of course be carrying on as writer without missing a beat. Shhhh, don’t tell Ralph)
Next week, well the next issue is mainly excited about Visionaries, but it’s also my first ever issue! And by complete coincidence also the first ever issue that really, really, really pissed off my mother with its sexism. Was she right? Or will a reread redefine Arcee as a feminist icon?
ISSUE 181
1988
COMMENT
Despite this it’s still great fun, with the most notable thing about it being Colin and Steve seeming to die at the end after Colin sets off his nuclear underpants. How did they get out of that?
The big thing this week though is the final Grimgrams, at over 100 issues this feels like much more of an event than the departure of Soundwave, and the excuse in the special opening preamble to the page of Grimlock finding it hard to get his mail on the moon is both funny and closer to a follow up to Totalled! and its fallout than Uncle Bob will give us.
Sadly however the final letters aren’t especially exciting, with only Peter Oxley of Wrexham pointing out how difficult it was to get his mother to buy Dragon’s Claws thanks to that last second name change standing out. I wonder how many potential sales were lost thanks to kids not having mothers’ as diligent as Peter’s?
Despite it not being the greatest page to sign off on, Grimlock remains very much the letters page answerer, the one everyone remembers and still talks about. Chances are if a default image is needed to represent the page anywhere online it will be his. Those are big shoes that need to be filled, and no one will ever quite manage
(That is mainly written for Ralph Burns who thinks Grimlock is real. Furman will of course be carrying on as writer without missing a beat. Shhhh, don’t tell Ralph)
Next week, well the next issue is mainly excited about Visionaries, but it’s also my first ever issue! And by complete coincidence also the first ever issue that really, really, really pissed off my mother with its sexism. Was she right? Or will a reread redefine Arcee as a feminist icon?
ISSUE 181
1988
COMMENT
