Great Rulers Make for Greater Glory, the Only Thing Growing is our History, Knock Me Down I’ll get Right Back up Again, Come Back Stronger Than a Powered-up Pac Man.
Maximum Dinobots Issue 5. April 15th 2009.
Yeah, well, the humans have an expression, payback’s a bitch!
Now this is a strange issue to talk about, because it is in theory the, to coin a phrase, end of the road tm for the opening era of IDW. Coming out the same day as issue 10 of All Hail Megatron, a comic nearing the end of the next era after this one. It’s a situation already muddled, made even more so by the fact that what should be logically the final Simon Furman Transformers comic, at least in this continuity, will get a weird short successor in a few months. And he’ll keep on chugging, remaining the only writer as of the 2020s to have written Transformers in every decade of its existence, even if a large part of his recent work includes computer games no one pays any attention to except when he slips something sexist, insulting to other writers or just plain weird (“Energon enema”) into them.
And though it is in theory the end of his littler run of stories, a good chunk of what is seemingly wrapped up never to be mentioned again here will be, sometimes unexpectedly and often year and years later, pop up to fuel major storylines from future authors.
All of which makes it hard to talk about a major end of an era issue as the end of an era.
Yeah, well, the humans have an expression, payback’s a bitch!
Now this is a strange issue to talk about, because it is in theory the, to coin a phrase, end of the road tm for the opening era of IDW. Coming out the same day as issue 10 of All Hail Megatron, a comic nearing the end of the next era after this one. It’s a situation already muddled, made even more so by the fact that what should be logically the final Simon Furman Transformers comic, at least in this continuity, will get a weird short successor in a few months. And he’ll keep on chugging, remaining the only writer as of the 2020s to have written Transformers in every decade of its existence, even if a large part of his recent work includes computer games no one pays any attention to except when he slips something sexist, insulting to other writers or just plain weird (“Energon enema”) into them.
And though it is in theory the end of his littler run of stories, a good chunk of what is seemingly wrapped up never to be mentioned again here will be, sometimes unexpectedly and often year and years later, pop up to fuel major storylines from future authors.
All of which makes it hard to talk about a major end of an era issue as the end of an era.
You know Sludge can only be killed by his greatest enemy: Blondes.
So, I guess we just dive into the story, which opens on a dead Sludge and Grimlock feeling sad that this is all his fault. If you go with each issue being a mini-Dinobot Spotlight, Sludge gets the short straw, mainly being a corpus delicti for the whole issue.
What follows is a series of fights between different combinations of the same characters, beating on each other for different reasons. Starting with Shockwave fighting Scorponok, claiming it’s because he’s the one who wants revenge on the Dinobots, having learnt to fake emotion just for the experience of vengeance.
Which is basically the excuse for a rehash/tribute to the big fight between them in Furman’s Marvel US issue 72, with Shockwave coming out with statistics as to how crap Scorponok as he delivers an ass whipping. Whilst I’d normally call this lazy, as a mirror to the first IDW Shockwave appearance (which was in turn a reworking of a Marvel story), it actually works pretty neatly, and this time Shockwave is unquestionably the better fighter.
During this, Snarl suggests it’s time to leave them to it and scarper with the Monsterbots, because, as sad as Sludge’s death is, they don’t do Band of Brothers stuff. But Grimlock has had enough of not accepting responsibility in this miserable life, and he’s going to have revenge on Scorponok, even if the others go.
What follows is a series of fights between different combinations of the same characters, beating on each other for different reasons. Starting with Shockwave fighting Scorponok, claiming it’s because he’s the one who wants revenge on the Dinobots, having learnt to fake emotion just for the experience of vengeance.
Which is basically the excuse for a rehash/tribute to the big fight between them in Furman’s Marvel US issue 72, with Shockwave coming out with statistics as to how crap Scorponok as he delivers an ass whipping. Whilst I’d normally call this lazy, as a mirror to the first IDW Shockwave appearance (which was in turn a reworking of a Marvel story), it actually works pretty neatly, and this time Shockwave is unquestionably the better fighter.
During this, Snarl suggests it’s time to leave them to it and scarper with the Monsterbots, because, as sad as Sludge’s death is, they don’t do Band of Brothers stuff. But Grimlock has had enough of not accepting responsibility in this miserable life, and he’s going to have revenge on Scorponok, even if the others go.
The medicinal punch.
Which they do, though Hot Rod refuses to come with them, having his own vendetta going on. Which makes, what, the third or fourth time one or more Dinobots has walked out of the story?
Another character who’s never sick of repeating himself is Agent Red, racing to the scene after Shockwave has seemingly turned over a docile Ravage and Laserbeak to one of his teams, and waiting till the last second to decide on whether to blow up Shockwave’s mind or not. Despite having previously shown some self-awareness about how well his plans have gone, he’s really taking a lot on faith here.
We also get a very odd moment of Grimlock trying to revive Sludge by... punching him in the chest repeatedly? Was that trying to be some sort of Dinobot CPR?
With Scorponok on his back, Shockwave says to get out of town and leave the Dinobots to him, which Scorponok decides is as good a plan as any now the Machination Empire tm has fallen, going down a secret elevator with a cheery “Not today” as Grimlock tries to come at him.
Another character who’s never sick of repeating himself is Agent Red, racing to the scene after Shockwave has seemingly turned over a docile Ravage and Laserbeak to one of his teams, and waiting till the last second to decide on whether to blow up Shockwave’s mind or not. Despite having previously shown some self-awareness about how well his plans have gone, he’s really taking a lot on faith here.
We also get a very odd moment of Grimlock trying to revive Sludge by... punching him in the chest repeatedly? Was that trying to be some sort of Dinobot CPR?
With Scorponok on his back, Shockwave says to get out of town and leave the Dinobots to him, which Scorponok decides is as good a plan as any now the Machination Empire tm has fallen, going down a secret elevator with a cheery “Not today” as Grimlock tries to come at him.
The sort of big purple phallus in a face a Tory MP likes to look at when at work.
Meaning it’s now Shockwave Vs Grimlock, with neither noticing a little snort from Sludge as we cut to a flashback (indicated by an “Earlier” caption over the wrong panel), that makes it clear that Shockwave has dealt with Soundwave to unleash him from his trapped alternate mode (as done by a Shockwave designed weapon) in exchange for him intercepting the Skywatch bomb signal and deactivating it when they transmit it.
Meanwhile, the Dinobots are invited aboard by the Monsterbots, pointing out both groups are exactly the same, only caring about “Me, myself, and I”.
I wonder how that will go?
During this, Hot Rod has limped into the Machination base (and depending on the artist, either has Sludge’s sword or a pipe), and finds both Scorponok’s head and Hunter, who helpfully points out you just pull the plug to end all this. But Scorponok has other ideas, coming up behind them.
Between this and the last issue, Scorponok really is a sneaky bugger for such a large guy.
Meanwhile, the Dinobots are invited aboard by the Monsterbots, pointing out both groups are exactly the same, only caring about “Me, myself, and I”.
I wonder how that will go?
During this, Hot Rod has limped into the Machination base (and depending on the artist, either has Sludge’s sword or a pipe), and finds both Scorponok’s head and Hunter, who helpfully points out you just pull the plug to end all this. But Scorponok has other ideas, coming up behind them.
Between this and the last issue, Scorponok really is a sneaky bugger for such a large guy.
Switch to decaf, Swoop.
In the least shocking twist possible, the Dinobots return to join in the fight, which is such a repeated bit now, it’s hard to say anything new beyond Sludge turning out to have been cured of death by being thumped in the chest, as he comes up behind them in some state of confusion. There’s no time for getting an insight into his view on the afterlife though, as Grimlock orders them to go after Scorponok.
It’s at the point Grimlock and Shockwave smash into a building that looks to be full of missiles that Agent Red arrives, and decides to disarm Shockwave’s bomb with seconds to spare so that he can finish the job. Which is all Soundwave needs to permanently deactivate the bomb, which in turn gets him the instructions on what to do with his “Transformation Cog” to return to robot mode.
I said a couple of issue ago that IDW would eventually settle on Transformation Cog as per the cartoon instead of trying more fancy terms like Transition Cog, but wasn’t expecting it to be so soon, nor from Furman. Letting you do your own joke about him being against transition.
And considering the same editorial team let two names for the same thing slip through within a month, it’s no surprise that, after All Hail Megatron wasn’t allowed to show human blood, here Ravage and Laserbeak get to violently rip apart their Skywatch guards.
It’s at the point Grimlock and Shockwave smash into a building that looks to be full of missiles that Agent Red arrives, and decides to disarm Shockwave’s bomb with seconds to spare so that he can finish the job. Which is all Soundwave needs to permanently deactivate the bomb, which in turn gets him the instructions on what to do with his “Transformation Cog” to return to robot mode.
I said a couple of issue ago that IDW would eventually settle on Transformation Cog as per the cartoon instead of trying more fancy terms like Transition Cog, but wasn’t expecting it to be so soon, nor from Furman. Letting you do your own joke about him being against transition.
And considering the same editorial team let two names for the same thing slip through within a month, it’s no surprise that, after All Hail Megatron wasn’t allowed to show human blood, here Ravage and Laserbeak get to violently rip apart their Skywatch guards.
Bloody comics, hey.
All of which is the moment Shockwave gets to go “PSYCHE”, he never gave a sod about the Dinobots, he only bothered with the fight to put on a show for Red till he could get free of the bomb. Which is a twist that genuinely fooled me on this reread having forgotten it, as I thought his fake emotional vengeance thing was as much a real part of his plot as everything else.
Unfortunately for him, Grimlock is really pissed, and uses a grenade to blow up the building they’re in, at the same moment Swoop, on the advice of Hot Rod, cuts the real Scorponok’s head’s wires, making the Dante Headmaster fall to the ground. You’d think Sludge would get that moment after what he’s been through.
But before they can kill him... Ultra Magnus appears. And I’d also forgotten that he arrives too late to actually contribute anything but taking everyone off to prison, despite being the guy with the biggest Scorponok beef.
The final two pages of the issue are a very quick wrap-up, starting with the most hilarious bit of trolling yet seen in a Transformers comic. Furman was obviously very aware of what All Hail Megatron was doing with Hunter at this point, so he gives the character an incredibly cheesy happy ending as a “Fuck you” to what comes after... chronologically, if not in publication order.
Unfortunately for him, Grimlock is really pissed, and uses a grenade to blow up the building they’re in, at the same moment Swoop, on the advice of Hot Rod, cuts the real Scorponok’s head’s wires, making the Dante Headmaster fall to the ground. You’d think Sludge would get that moment after what he’s been through.
But before they can kill him... Ultra Magnus appears. And I’d also forgotten that he arrives too late to actually contribute anything but taking everyone off to prison, despite being the guy with the biggest Scorponok beef.
The final two pages of the issue are a very quick wrap-up, starting with the most hilarious bit of trolling yet seen in a Transformers comic. Furman was obviously very aware of what All Hail Megatron was doing with Hunter at this point, so he gives the character an incredibly cheesy happy ending as a “Fuck you” to what comes after... chronologically, if not in publication order.
Death by thinking about All Hail Megatron.
So, aboard Ark 32, Sunstreaker is going to be fine, Hunter is almost human, if feeling lost without the thoughts of his partner. But look who Ironhide (remember that thing with Ironhide?) has bought in! It’s Jimmy and Verity! Who give Hunter a big loving hug and they’re all such happy, happy friends with bright futures ahead.
Ahem.
And yes, there’s nothing that’s a bigger indication about how plans have changed, that two thirds of our original human supporting cast, including the main identification character, have a one page cameo with no indication of where they’ve been for long enough for Verity to get a new hairstyle. Were they chasing around the galaxy in Revelation? On Earth with Ironhide, but doing nothing? At least, at last, after three years, they’ve finally changed clothes.
Between that hug and the next panel of Magnus saying goodbye to Optimus, Verity and he must have met and bonded enough for her to stowaway aboard his ship. But that’s a tale for another time...
After very quickly checking in on Agent Red to see him all sad about Machination Headquarters being completely destroyed (the last we’ll see of a character so inept, even John Barber won’t revisit him), it’s time for Magnus to go to Garrus 9 with his three prisoners.
Only three (well, beyond that we’ll never find out what happened to Dante), because Grimlock has taken the fall for the other Dinobots, with them having been released and left fixing the Skyfire to go on their own, Grimlock-less adventures in the years to come.
And Grimlock, now a ‘bot at peace with himself and accepting of responsibility for his own actions, is fine with going to jail because, thanks to him (and his punches?), Sludge is alive.
Ahem.
And yes, there’s nothing that’s a bigger indication about how plans have changed, that two thirds of our original human supporting cast, including the main identification character, have a one page cameo with no indication of where they’ve been for long enough for Verity to get a new hairstyle. Were they chasing around the galaxy in Revelation? On Earth with Ironhide, but doing nothing? At least, at last, after three years, they’ve finally changed clothes.
Between that hug and the next panel of Magnus saying goodbye to Optimus, Verity and he must have met and bonded enough for her to stowaway aboard his ship. But that’s a tale for another time...
After very quickly checking in on Agent Red to see him all sad about Machination Headquarters being completely destroyed (the last we’ll see of a character so inept, even John Barber won’t revisit him), it’s time for Magnus to go to Garrus 9 with his three prisoners.
Only three (well, beyond that we’ll never find out what happened to Dante), because Grimlock has taken the fall for the other Dinobots, with them having been released and left fixing the Skyfire to go on their own, Grimlock-less adventures in the years to come.
And Grimlock, now a ‘bot at peace with himself and accepting of responsibility for his own actions, is fine with going to jail because, thanks to him (and his punches?), Sludge is alive.
AND NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENED
Which, though this isn’t the best issue, is a decent note for Furman to end on, his signature character having a moment of significant growth, learning to accept things as they are.
Except, as mentioned, it wasn’t the end. And his most recent, at the time of writing, Transformers comic also ends on a Grimlock moment. Where he commits suicide via pratfall.
Perhaps things should have ended for him here.
It’s just a shame circumstances mean we won’t see much of this new, mellow Grimlock.
Boy is this, once again, frustrating. And frustrating is a word I seem to be using a lot lately with these comics. There’s lots of nice, action filled moments and the twist with Shockwave not giving a toss is genuinely smart. Plus, Grimlock gets some genuine and sincere character growth.
And whilst the two artists in Nick Roche and James Raiz have the same clashing styles issue as the previous issue, they still each do great stuff with their pages, creating some great imagery.
Except, as mentioned, it wasn’t the end. And his most recent, at the time of writing, Transformers comic also ends on a Grimlock moment. Where he commits suicide via pratfall.
Perhaps things should have ended for him here.
It’s just a shame circumstances mean we won’t see much of this new, mellow Grimlock.
Boy is this, once again, frustrating. And frustrating is a word I seem to be using a lot lately with these comics. There’s lots of nice, action filled moments and the twist with Shockwave not giving a toss is genuinely smart. Plus, Grimlock gets some genuine and sincere character growth.
And whilst the two artists in Nick Roche and James Raiz have the same clashing styles issue as the previous issue, they still each do great stuff with their pages, creating some great imagery.
And they'll never meet again.
But, redundant things across the series like how the Dinobots keep leaving or the pointlessness of the Monsterbots, means this issue has to rush a lot of things. There’s no real moment of payoff for Hot Rod or Agent Red and all they’ve been through, most of the Dinobots are just muscle rather than characters (the one who does the most is dead all issue), the Machination Empire was such a nothing thing I wonder how Jetfire heard about it and Ultra Magnus only appears to do his best Graham Chapman “Stop being so silly” impression.
There’s enough innate momentum in “Dinobots fight everyone” drawn by two great artists to stop this being irredeemable, and you can still have a lot of fun here. And I suspect this works better in trade, when you can whizz through the entire story in about half an hour. But, as the end to three years worth of stories, it feels like an embarrassed afterthought rather than a grand climax.
And that’s a shame. But it’s even more a shame that it’s still better than any issue of All Hail Megatron to date. IDW are floundering with their new direction at the moment, so that even a stumble on the payoff to the Furman stuff still holds up better.
Next week, we get to see if the floundering will stop now McCarthy has a clear field with the tenth issue of All Hail Megatron.
SPOTLIGHT: DRIFT
2009
COMMENT
KO-FI
There’s enough innate momentum in “Dinobots fight everyone” drawn by two great artists to stop this being irredeemable, and you can still have a lot of fun here. And I suspect this works better in trade, when you can whizz through the entire story in about half an hour. But, as the end to three years worth of stories, it feels like an embarrassed afterthought rather than a grand climax.
And that’s a shame. But it’s even more a shame that it’s still better than any issue of All Hail Megatron to date. IDW are floundering with their new direction at the moment, so that even a stumble on the payoff to the Furman stuff still holds up better.
Next week, we get to see if the floundering will stop now McCarthy has a clear field with the tenth issue of All Hail Megatron.
SPOTLIGHT: DRIFT
2009
COMMENT
KO-FI
