No, You’ll Never be a Sailor if Your Balls Hang Low.
Infestation 2: Transformers issue 2. February 15th 2012.
What lurks in these waters that inspired such fear in hard men?
After unexpectedly enjoying the first issue of this duology, even with worries about how long it took to get to the sleeping Optimus Prime, I was quite excited for the second half. Especially with the irony of this being the same week the first issue of the new ongoing Transformers comic has come out, which, with the same attitude I’ve had to this series for years, I’ve chosen not to read at this time because the PR and synopsis hasn’t done much for me. It could well have been time for me to eat some humble pie for my assumptions.
And we do get a nice atmospheric start, as the HMS Indomitable finds a lifeboat from the US ship that sunk in the first part, full of dead, terrified corpses with eerie glowing eyes.
A mood that continues in Cenotaph, where, as the Decepticons stand guard outside, a fish priest has the zombified congregation chat and summon what can only be called a Lovecraftian horror from the ocean, their master and lord who will return the world to the rule of water.
Which is perhaps where me not having read any Lovecraft may be a problem, as I know when not being horribly racist, he loved working on the lore of his horror, so this may well be some elder god of significance to his fans.
What lurks in these waters that inspired such fear in hard men?
After unexpectedly enjoying the first issue of this duology, even with worries about how long it took to get to the sleeping Optimus Prime, I was quite excited for the second half. Especially with the irony of this being the same week the first issue of the new ongoing Transformers comic has come out, which, with the same attitude I’ve had to this series for years, I’ve chosen not to read at this time because the PR and synopsis hasn’t done much for me. It could well have been time for me to eat some humble pie for my assumptions.
And we do get a nice atmospheric start, as the HMS Indomitable finds a lifeboat from the US ship that sunk in the first part, full of dead, terrified corpses with eerie glowing eyes.
A mood that continues in Cenotaph, where, as the Decepticons stand guard outside, a fish priest has the zombified congregation chat and summon what can only be called a Lovecraftian horror from the ocean, their master and lord who will return the world to the rule of water.
Which is perhaps where me not having read any Lovecraft may be a problem, as I know when not being horribly racist, he loved working on the lore of his horror, so this may well be some elder god of significance to his fans.
The one big CVO fan.
More problematic for the crossover as a whole, it becomes clear at this point that the Decepticons are just going to be goons, and effectively this could have just been a story of Autobots vs monsters, without their usual adversaries at all.
The real problem though, comes from when we return to the frozen north and Prime’s body. Where we get six pages (with a one-page break in the middle to show the Indomitable has summoned an international armada to investigate Cenotaph) devoted to just waking up the Autobot leader.
This involves Tesla creating a balloon-based version of his tower to generate electricity from the air, but which needs some sort of boost from the energy of an Autobots. With first Wheeljack, then Hound, Trailblazer and Ratchet try, but each of them only lasts a few seconds before going off-line.
This leaves Tesla and Muldoon freezing to death, before Prime wakes up having finally been revived by the balloon. He then uses his own energy to revive the other Autobots, before asking for explanations.
The real problem though, comes from when we return to the frozen north and Prime’s body. Where we get six pages (with a one-page break in the middle to show the Indomitable has summoned an international armada to investigate Cenotaph) devoted to just waking up the Autobot leader.
This involves Tesla creating a balloon-based version of his tower to generate electricity from the air, but which needs some sort of boost from the energy of an Autobots. With first Wheeljack, then Hound, Trailblazer and Ratchet try, but each of them only lasts a few seconds before going off-line.
This leaves Tesla and Muldoon freezing to death, before Prime wakes up having finally been revived by the balloon. He then uses his own energy to revive the other Autobots, before asking for explanations.
Nice for Hound to be doing something anyway.
This is such a strange, padded and nonsensical sequence as Autobot after Autobot falls on their face in a way that suggests they had a ridiculously low power reserve to start with. That Prime can, unaided, revive them all from his own power makes you wonder why the other Autobots did do a direct energy transfer to him in the first place. It’s a real momentum killer.
It’s not even something that allows the other plot to advance hugely during it, as it turns out the entire time it took to revive Prime and travel hundred of miles down to Cenotaph, was less time than it takes for the Elder God squid fish man to walk ashore.
Once they see the situation, the arrived Autobots split into two groups, the bulk, alongside the troops from the armada, fighting the possessed goon Decepticons, whose number also now include a possessed Ironhide. Which kind of comes out of nowhere, and the traditional “Fight it, you’re still in there” stuff is still very perfunctory and half-arsed and exactly the sort of thing that could have been explored in more depth if waking up Prime hadn’t been so padded.
Though Optimus, traditionally his best friend, just brushing past him with no fucks given is, possibly unintentionally, extremely funny.
Prime himself, goes into the water and uses some fun fist saws (almost a cross between his traditional axe Hot Rod’s saws from the ’86 film) to chop up the Elder God. Which easily switches off the plot, enabling the Autobots (including Ironhide, who we only see from behind and doesn’t get a “Back to normal” moment) to just walk off and leave Tesla and Muldoon to fail to explain what just happened to the sailors.
It’s not even something that allows the other plot to advance hugely during it, as it turns out the entire time it took to revive Prime and travel hundred of miles down to Cenotaph, was less time than it takes for the Elder God squid fish man to walk ashore.
Once they see the situation, the arrived Autobots split into two groups, the bulk, alongside the troops from the armada, fighting the possessed goon Decepticons, whose number also now include a possessed Ironhide. Which kind of comes out of nowhere, and the traditional “Fight it, you’re still in there” stuff is still very perfunctory and half-arsed and exactly the sort of thing that could have been explored in more depth if waking up Prime hadn’t been so padded.
Though Optimus, traditionally his best friend, just brushing past him with no fucks given is, possibly unintentionally, extremely funny.
Prime himself, goes into the water and uses some fun fist saws (almost a cross between his traditional axe Hot Rod’s saws from the ’86 film) to chop up the Elder God. Which easily switches off the plot, enabling the Autobots (including Ironhide, who we only see from behind and doesn’t get a “Back to normal” moment) to just walk off and leave Tesla and Muldoon to fail to explain what just happened to the sailors.
Sax X (2023)
That was a very odd, and ultimately very disappointing issue after such a strong start. If feels almost as if Dixon had expected to be writing another four-part series and it suddenly got cut down, resulting in the plotting being both overdrawn and incredibly hasty.
Resulting in things like it actually being pretty pointless for Muldoon to be in the two issues at all. And though Tesla has his moment with the balloon, he contributes nothing to the second half of the issue, when you’d think the triumph of science over dark magic would be an obvious theme to make front and centre.
The result is an extremely unsatisfying conclusion where the nicest things you can say about it is Guido Guidi continues to knock it out the part with some lovely visuals that create most of the mood and that it’s completely divorced from the surrounding envelope series, meaning you don’t have to read that.
I, on the other hand, do have to read it. So, straight into a quick Addendum on the conclusion of Infestation 2…
AUTOCRACY CHAPTER 3
2012
COMMENT
KO-FI
Resulting in things like it actually being pretty pointless for Muldoon to be in the two issues at all. And though Tesla has his moment with the balloon, he contributes nothing to the second half of the issue, when you’d think the triumph of science over dark magic would be an obvious theme to make front and centre.
The result is an extremely unsatisfying conclusion where the nicest things you can say about it is Guido Guidi continues to knock it out the part with some lovely visuals that create most of the mood and that it’s completely divorced from the surrounding envelope series, meaning you don’t have to read that.
I, on the other hand, do have to read it. So, straight into a quick Addendum on the conclusion of Infestation 2…
AUTOCRACY CHAPTER 3
2012
COMMENT
KO-FI
