Sad Sack was Sittin’ on a Block of Stone, way Over in the Corner, Weeping all Alone. The Warden Said, “Hey Buddy, don’t you be no Square, if you Can’t Find a Partner, Use a Wooden Chair.”
The Transformers Issue 5: Enemies of the System. March 31st 2010.
I can only imagine the… the horror. The horror your people must have experienced.
Once again, the overall title of the story is left off, but they managed it once and that’s a lot of hard work.
More excitingly for this issue, four months after he surrendered, Optimus Prime has his conversation with Spike, which forms the centrepiece of the issue at seven pages.
Well, six rather as it’s hard to feel the opening splash page of Skywatch HQ with one dialogue box (“It’s a beautiful day outside”) as more than just padding.
Still, this is the moment for Prime to set out his stall and motivation for the rest of Costa’s run and sow the seeds for the future development of Spike (who is sat slouched with a camera like the bored director of Prime’s first porno).
Unfortunately, we don’t actually learn that much. Prime just repeats the prior accusation against him from Rodimus: That he’s out of touch as a peacetime leader.
I can only imagine the… the horror. The horror your people must have experienced.
Once again, the overall title of the story is left off, but they managed it once and that’s a lot of hard work.
More excitingly for this issue, four months after he surrendered, Optimus Prime has his conversation with Spike, which forms the centrepiece of the issue at seven pages.
Well, six rather as it’s hard to feel the opening splash page of Skywatch HQ with one dialogue box (“It’s a beautiful day outside”) as more than just padding.
Still, this is the moment for Prime to set out his stall and motivation for the rest of Costa’s run and sow the seeds for the future development of Spike (who is sat slouched with a camera like the bored director of Prime’s first porno).
Unfortunately, we don’t actually learn that much. Prime just repeats the prior accusation against him from Rodimus: That he’s out of touch as a peacetime leader.
Tired: Prime as a fan of Megatron's writing. Wired: Prime as a fan of Thundercracker's writing.
Worse, he then goes on to say how Transformers never really change, that humans in one short lifetime go through so much more experience and development and this makes them rare and special, and that’s why he’s surrendered, to both learn and accept responsibility for having treated them as The Enemy now there is no other enemy.
Now, I’ve said before Mike Costa had only one real idea when it comes to Transformers and he will nail it into the ground, but it is incredibly silly of him to have his big Optimus Prime moment be just a rerun of what Thundercracker went through in just the last issue. It makes the main character look like a pale imitation of everyone’s second favourite Seeker.
It means something we’ve been building up to for the entire story so far has almost no oomph or energy to it.
There’re only two mildly interesting things here. The first is Prime saying he was a solider before becoming a leader. At this point, the most recent Optimus origin had him as a librarian, whilst the “Classic” cartoon take is of a dock worker. The soldier working his way up through ranks is a proper old-fashioned Marvel idea, and one IDW will subsequently ignore very hard.
Now, I’ve said before Mike Costa had only one real idea when it comes to Transformers and he will nail it into the ground, but it is incredibly silly of him to have his big Optimus Prime moment be just a rerun of what Thundercracker went through in just the last issue. It makes the main character look like a pale imitation of everyone’s second favourite Seeker.
It means something we’ve been building up to for the entire story so far has almost no oomph or energy to it.
There’re only two mildly interesting things here. The first is Prime saying he was a solider before becoming a leader. At this point, the most recent Optimus origin had him as a librarian, whilst the “Classic” cartoon take is of a dock worker. The soldier working his way up through ranks is a proper old-fashioned Marvel idea, and one IDW will subsequently ignore very hard.
Is Bumblebee going to have to do a heroic self-sacrifice for everyone who missed the first one?
The other is Prime saying he considers Spike to be a great solider, who, if not a great leader yet, will definitely become one due to that capacity of humanity to change and evolve.
Which means Prime is either an amazing bullshitter, buttering Spike up, or the worst judge of character in all of fiction.
The scene ends with Spike asking what Prime hopes for his troops now, to which the answer is “It is my greatest hope… that they will transform.”
Actually, yeah, definitely a bullshitting prankster that Prime.
This gives the segue to Autobot headquarters, where we get to see the new, confident, and boosted by the events of his own series (which this is now firmly after as it gets a couple of mentions) Bumblebee in action as Ultra Magnus returns and…
Completely rides roughshod over him, demanding troops (including Blurr, even after it’s pointed out he’s been recently injured) and support to go take out Decepticon ally Rodimus hard, even after Bumblebee tries very, very, hard to defuse the situation.
So, we effectively had four issues of his own series building up to Bumblebee still being a basic bitch.
Which means Prime is either an amazing bullshitter, buttering Spike up, or the worst judge of character in all of fiction.
The scene ends with Spike asking what Prime hopes for his troops now, to which the answer is “It is my greatest hope… that they will transform.”
Actually, yeah, definitely a bullshitting prankster that Prime.
This gives the segue to Autobot headquarters, where we get to see the new, confident, and boosted by the events of his own series (which this is now firmly after as it gets a couple of mentions) Bumblebee in action as Ultra Magnus returns and…
Completely rides roughshod over him, demanding troops (including Blurr, even after it’s pointed out he’s been recently injured) and support to go take out Decepticon ally Rodimus hard, even after Bumblebee tries very, very, hard to defuse the situation.
So, we effectively had four issues of his own series building up to Bumblebee still being a basic bitch.
What are the odds though?
Being equally basic is Spike, who decides to go for another joyride in Breakdown before his next meeting with dad, even though the last time he did this, he missed all the action at the base he should have been in charge of and that’s been the cause of all his anxiety.
He also leaves base with an order he not be called unless “some robot that’s capable of eating the planet turns up or something”. Which is the sort of terrible “I’ll believe that Lex Luthor is a villain when Clark can fly in a suit with red underwear!” winking to the point of wanking dialogue you used to get in things like Smallville.
But it does at least mean we actually get a nice scene of him “talking” to his comatose car, wondering if Breakdown has the same thoughts on post-war life as Prime, maybe he even also sounds like Abraham Lincoln.
He also leaves base with an order he not be called unless “some robot that’s capable of eating the planet turns up or something”. Which is the sort of terrible “I’ll believe that Lex Luthor is a villain when Clark can fly in a suit with red underwear!” winking to the point of wanking dialogue you used to get in things like Smallville.
But it does at least mean we actually get a nice scene of him “talking” to his comatose car, wondering if Breakdown has the same thoughts on post-war life as Prime, maybe he even also sounds like Abraham Lincoln.
Wildrider is the reader.
Such musings are cut short as Drag Strip and Wildrider attack, taking great delight in seeing how much damage they can do to their colleague safely whilst still killing the human. Spike tries using a big old Skywatch gun against them (much to the annoyance of Drag Strip, whose tires get burst), but when Motormaster—Dead End must have been on a late start shift—arrives, he has no choice but to bail into the nearest river and call Skywatch in to drag him out.
Which makes you wonder why he didn’t use his earpiece to call for backup during the attack, especially as he’d barely left the base. But that’s a great leader for you.
Speaking of great leaders, Rodimus is confronted by Magnus and a very reticent Bumblebee (especially when Rodimus points out rounding up your own people being bad is a lesson ‘Bee just learnt), and the half-page of a very stern Magnus waving his finger as he lays down the law is very good.
Which makes you wonder why he didn’t use his earpiece to call for backup during the attack, especially as he’d barely left the base. But that’s a great leader for you.
Speaking of great leaders, Rodimus is confronted by Magnus and a very reticent Bumblebee (especially when Rodimus points out rounding up your own people being bad is a lesson ‘Bee just learnt), and the half-page of a very stern Magnus waving his finger as he lays down the law is very good.
He's got a finger and isn't afraid to use it.
Unfortunately, anything potentially interesting about this set-up is squandered by Swindle (who has been pottering about “fixing” Breakdown since he got back) suddenly going “Psyche!,” the whole thing has been a trick and, not only are the Decepticons leaving, but they’re also going to kill as many Autobots as they can.
Which initially doesn’t impress Magnus, until Swindle declares “Stunticons combine!,” and Overlord shots him in the head…
No, wait, this time it’s serious. Swindle has turned the Stunticons (now including Dead End) into Menasor in about half an hour. Which, after all the fuss about combining technology made so far, is absolutely hilarious. With all the even greater fuss made about combining technology in the years to come (where it to all intents and purposes, becomes magic), it only becomes more hilarious in retrospect.
The double page spread of Menasor forming is actually exceptionally good, and Swerve’s command to kill Magnus “First” is a proper sensible call-back to their shared history. For the theoretical new reader this might even have been a great ending, it’s just very, very silly in the wider context of IDW. There’s a reason the most recent issue of Last Stand of the Wreckers made a joke of this sort of thing.
Which initially doesn’t impress Magnus, until Swindle declares “Stunticons combine!,” and Overlord shots him in the head…
No, wait, this time it’s serious. Swindle has turned the Stunticons (now including Dead End) into Menasor in about half an hour. Which, after all the fuss about combining technology made so far, is absolutely hilarious. With all the even greater fuss made about combining technology in the years to come (where it to all intents and purposes, becomes magic), it only becomes more hilarious in retrospect.
The double page spread of Menasor forming is actually exceptionally good, and Swerve’s command to kill Magnus “First” is a proper sensible call-back to their shared history. For the theoretical new reader this might even have been a great ending, it’s just very, very silly in the wider context of IDW. There’s a reason the most recent issue of Last Stand of the Wreckers made a joke of this sort of thing.
King shit from Swindle.
The main problem with this issue is how terrible the Prime conversation is, telling us nothing at great length for pages. Plus, the chatty nature of it means a lot of face close-ups, and that plays to the weaknesses of Don’s current style.
The rest of the issue is solidly OK, in terms of being dumb action. There are even a couple of very nicely drawn moments. But as part 4 of a 5-part story, it’s sorely lacking and too many of the characters are acting like idiots, especially the not listening to anyone Magnus. In a more streamlined version, if he’d led Bumblebee and company out with him the first time he went to look for Rodimus and this had been his initial, impulsive, reaction to Swindle, it would make a lot more sense and flow better.
But that’s been the Costa experience all over so far, hasn’t it? Slow and dumb.
Next week, it’s ain’t over till it’s POVA.
ADDENDUM 9
2010
COMMENT
KO-FI
The rest of the issue is solidly OK, in terms of being dumb action. There are even a couple of very nicely drawn moments. But as part 4 of a 5-part story, it’s sorely lacking and too many of the characters are acting like idiots, especially the not listening to anyone Magnus. In a more streamlined version, if he’d led Bumblebee and company out with him the first time he went to look for Rodimus and this had been his initial, impulsive, reaction to Swindle, it would make a lot more sense and flow better.
But that’s been the Costa experience all over so far, hasn’t it? Slow and dumb.
Next week, it’s ain’t over till it’s POVA.
ADDENDUM 9
2010
COMMENT
KO-FI
