Like a Bridge Over Troubled Waters.
All Hail Megatron Issue 2. August 20th 2009.
I hate dogs.
The second issue of the big event of the summer looks initially as if it’s going to switch tact as it opens at a garden party in a sophisticated large house and we’re introduced to a character who represents one of the more interesting quirks of Shane McCarthy’s writing, his take on Sparkplug Witwicky.
Though the character is only called by his (introduced here) real name of “Danny” in this issue, meaning it initially looks like this is an even more drastic reinvention of the other, other Witwicky from the cartoon. I assume the implication is that the grandson would be named after him, but that’s not something that will ever become a concern for IDW.
Rather than a mere mamby pamby oil rig worker, this Sparkplug (I’ll call him that to avoid confusion with the aforementioned Daniel) is a manly, manly mans man. The sort of man Jeremy Clarkson would find terrifyingly full of over the top macho posturing. You can tell this because the other garden party guests are talking about their ecologically friendly electric cars, before he shocks them all by revealing he owns some old 1968 Fastback that, most disgustingly of all, doesn’t even come with a GPS.
It’s an odd scene where, like several odd scenes in this issue, you’re clearly meant to like this straight talking, shooting from the hip, taking no shit, testosterone machine despite him clearly being a massive walking bollock.
I hate dogs.
The second issue of the big event of the summer looks initially as if it’s going to switch tact as it opens at a garden party in a sophisticated large house and we’re introduced to a character who represents one of the more interesting quirks of Shane McCarthy’s writing, his take on Sparkplug Witwicky.
Though the character is only called by his (introduced here) real name of “Danny” in this issue, meaning it initially looks like this is an even more drastic reinvention of the other, other Witwicky from the cartoon. I assume the implication is that the grandson would be named after him, but that’s not something that will ever become a concern for IDW.
Rather than a mere mamby pamby oil rig worker, this Sparkplug (I’ll call him that to avoid confusion with the aforementioned Daniel) is a manly, manly mans man. The sort of man Jeremy Clarkson would find terrifyingly full of over the top macho posturing. You can tell this because the other garden party guests are talking about their ecologically friendly electric cars, before he shocks them all by revealing he owns some old 1968 Fastback that, most disgustingly of all, doesn’t even come with a GPS.
It’s an odd scene where, like several odd scenes in this issue, you’re clearly meant to like this straight talking, shooting from the hip, taking no shit, testosterone machine despite him clearly being a massive walking bollock.
"A map? You disgust me"
It’s also an oddly over played scene, it’s hard to see why all these rich guests would find the idea of someone owing an old car and enjoying orienteering so terrifying they all go slack-jawed. It may well be that, as he also does a few times later in the issue, Guido overplays the reactions in the art, but it certainly is a slightly baffling introduction to a major character.
Or rather a Colonel, as, as his wife drags him away from the others and (in the first ever appearance of Mrs Witwicky) bemoans none of them know what a manly man he really is, a giant chopper arrives with a solider on personal orders from the President to collect Colonel Witwicky.
Which surprises him as apparently no one at the party has heard of the attack on New York. If you’re old enough, think about how fast it took you to get a text on the morning of 9/11 7 years earlier and how much quicker those panicked calls would go round within a helicopter’s ride distance of New York when 9/11+ happens.
In New York, the Decepticons are continuing to destroy things as The Other F-22 pilot we met last issue, Andy, is now on the ground and running for it, saving a woman called Sarah along the way.
Or rather a Colonel, as, as his wife drags him away from the others and (in the first ever appearance of Mrs Witwicky) bemoans none of them know what a manly man he really is, a giant chopper arrives with a solider on personal orders from the President to collect Colonel Witwicky.
Which surprises him as apparently no one at the party has heard of the attack on New York. If you’re old enough, think about how fast it took you to get a text on the morning of 9/11 7 years earlier and how much quicker those panicked calls would go round within a helicopter’s ride distance of New York when 9/11+ happens.
In New York, the Decepticons are continuing to destroy things as The Other F-22 pilot we met last issue, Andy, is now on the ground and running for it, saving a woman called Sarah along the way.
Hound of the Baskervilles.
That her name is Sarah is, broadly speaking, the extent of the characterisation she’s going to get as, ironically just like the Furman run, clearly intended to be major human characters are going to have their role shrink to almost nothing after negative initial reader feedback.
Andy does slightly better, getting to joke about being a pilot without a jet and bemoaning the big metal dog that’s been following him in a way that suggests he has some meta knowledge of old Transformers fandom misconceptions and jokes.
As a sign of how we’re going to get 12 issues out of what was first thought of as 6, we then get what is basically an irrelevant page setting up an irrelevant subplot on the chopper, where Sparkplug is arguing about the “Need to know” nature of their mission with CIA Agent Drake, making it clear that if he hears the phrase “CIA clearance” one more time, his Sgt will punch the agent. Because military violence is good?
It’s irrelevant because Witwicky is being flown to a place where he is going to be told everything, so he’s only arguing the toss over whether the troops under him should be fully briefed as well, and upon arrival he sends them into battle before even he’s been briefed, so he obviously doesn’t really care about them having all the facts and is just being a dick for the sake of it.
It also shows that odd attitude of McCarthy’s. He’s an Australian writer, but the whole story is very “Rah rah go USA! Back our boys!” in a way even Michael Bay at his most excessive (and whatever he needed to say to get the toys to play with, that by the fourth film you have Optimus Prime executing the head of a US military death squad perhaps says more about his attitude than some nice shots of an F22) would look at and go “Bit much mate”.
Andy does slightly better, getting to joke about being a pilot without a jet and bemoaning the big metal dog that’s been following him in a way that suggests he has some meta knowledge of old Transformers fandom misconceptions and jokes.
As a sign of how we’re going to get 12 issues out of what was first thought of as 6, we then get what is basically an irrelevant page setting up an irrelevant subplot on the chopper, where Sparkplug is arguing about the “Need to know” nature of their mission with CIA Agent Drake, making it clear that if he hears the phrase “CIA clearance” one more time, his Sgt will punch the agent. Because military violence is good?
It’s irrelevant because Witwicky is being flown to a place where he is going to be told everything, so he’s only arguing the toss over whether the troops under him should be fully briefed as well, and upon arrival he sends them into battle before even he’s been briefed, so he obviously doesn’t really care about them having all the facts and is just being a dick for the sake of it.
It also shows that odd attitude of McCarthy’s. He’s an Australian writer, but the whole story is very “Rah rah go USA! Back our boys!” in a way even Michael Bay at his most excessive (and whatever he needed to say to get the toys to play with, that by the fourth film you have Optimus Prime executing the head of a US military death squad perhaps says more about his attitude than some nice shots of an F22) would look at and go “Bit much mate”.
Those wacky army guys.
Is he trying too hard to write “American”? Or with the intent to write a movie style comic, is he putting in all the “With the cooperation of the armed forces” stuff that Hollywood movies often have to do just because that’s the style?
Either way, you’re clearly meant to be on-board for assaulting a government agent for doing his basic job because he’s never put his boots on the ground.
In New York, Andy turned out to have been optimistic about having lost Ravage, but luckily for him, the “Dog” is scared off my some Molotov cocktails chucked by a guy who then drags them into a warehouse. The newcomer is called Bridge (suggesting that McCarthy simply named him such because the end of the issue was on his mind) and you can tell him apart from the other two because he’s black.
Arriving on the outskirts of the city, Witwicky orders the Sgt to follow through on the punch to the CIA agent, before, completely inexplicably, having the ground forces move in and attack the robots at Central Park whilst, as noted, on his way to the briefing that is going to explain the situation to him. Such an incredibly stupid act that he pretty much deserves that happens next.
Either way, you’re clearly meant to be on-board for assaulting a government agent for doing his basic job because he’s never put his boots on the ground.
In New York, Andy turned out to have been optimistic about having lost Ravage, but luckily for him, the “Dog” is scared off my some Molotov cocktails chucked by a guy who then drags them into a warehouse. The newcomer is called Bridge (suggesting that McCarthy simply named him such because the end of the issue was on his mind) and you can tell him apart from the other two because he’s black.
Arriving on the outskirts of the city, Witwicky orders the Sgt to follow through on the punch to the CIA agent, before, completely inexplicably, having the ground forces move in and attack the robots at Central Park whilst, as noted, on his way to the briefing that is going to explain the situation to him. Such an incredibly stupid act that he pretty much deserves that happens next.
Driller Killer.
At the park, the Decepticons are standing in an incredibly butch Tory Power Stance way as, because ground soldiers will be using weapons with no targeting systems to scramble, Megatron orders that Frenzy be unleashed. Creating an awkward moment where Hook has to play dumb about not knowing who Frenzy is just so Skywarp can call him the “New guy”, in the first overt attempt to tie this comic into the Furman series.
As I’ll go into at the end of the issue, a lot of the attempts by this comic to be edgy and violent are going to fall flat, but the Frenzy scene not only works, it might actually be the best new idea McCarthy contributed to the series because it’s so left-field and genuinely terrifying. Frenzy’s sonic powers are now so overwhelming, it creates psychosis in everyone within range. Including himself. Indeed, everyone except Soundwave, who seems more to be getting off on it as a screaming Frenzy jumps at the now immobilised troopers with drill hands in some fantastically drawn, creepy, red lit panels. It’s easily the best part of the issue, despite Soundwave now being cartoon Soundwave (the voice just doesn’t work in print and makes him less interesting) and the soldiers being deeply stupid at thinking “Only” 4 robots don’t pose any threat.
This is followed by what is a bridging scene in more ways that one, as the three new human pals run past some looters (and, confusingly for a book that so favours the 1985 line-up of characters, a van coloured like Skids), before Andy desperately explains to big B Bridge (an important distinction for later) that what he saw was definitely not robots controlled by terrorists and they realise they’re not getting out of the city easily as the tunnel they were aiming for is chock-blocked with people.
As I’ll go into at the end of the issue, a lot of the attempts by this comic to be edgy and violent are going to fall flat, but the Frenzy scene not only works, it might actually be the best new idea McCarthy contributed to the series because it’s so left-field and genuinely terrifying. Frenzy’s sonic powers are now so overwhelming, it creates psychosis in everyone within range. Including himself. Indeed, everyone except Soundwave, who seems more to be getting off on it as a screaming Frenzy jumps at the now immobilised troopers with drill hands in some fantastically drawn, creepy, red lit panels. It’s easily the best part of the issue, despite Soundwave now being cartoon Soundwave (the voice just doesn’t work in print and makes him less interesting) and the soldiers being deeply stupid at thinking “Only” 4 robots don’t pose any threat.
This is followed by what is a bridging scene in more ways that one, as the three new human pals run past some looters (and, confusingly for a book that so favours the 1985 line-up of characters, a van coloured like Skids), before Andy desperately explains to big B Bridge (an important distinction for later) that what he saw was definitely not robots controlled by terrorists and they realise they’re not getting out of the city easily as the tunnel they were aiming for is chock-blocked with people.
"No, honestly, it's an alien lorry"
Outside, Witwicky is finally getting his briefing (from a General Hawke, not that one), whilst the CIA man has to sit there with a bruised face. This is the main attempt to patch over the disconnect with the Furman stuff, as it turns out everyone does know about the robots, but thought it was all some sort of terrorist trick by the Machination, who have been put out of business. Which is hilarious considering the next Furman issue is still clinging to the hope that he’ll be able to make the Machination a bigger threat than just turning out to be some stooges.
It’s an awkward scene that’s really just there to try and appease long term fans and not doing a great job of it, with some real comedy gold from the fact that the most prominent piece of “Evidence” of the robots on the table is just a photo of a red truck with no other context of it being anything but a truck.
During this, a grunt comes in and gives the news that everyone sent in has been killed, causing another odd facial reaction as Witwicky and his aide do big “Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat” expressions.
So, not only did he send troops in before getting briefed on the situation, the Colonel wasn’t even supervising the counterattack he was brought into coordinate.
What follows is two scenes that should probably have been in the reverse order for maximum impact. The first is the seekers flying overhead and blasting Brooklyn Bridge (not to be confused with Nofirstname Bridge). With the art making sure to show it was ram packed full of fleeing cars.
It’s an awkward scene that’s really just there to try and appease long term fans and not doing a great job of it, with some real comedy gold from the fact that the most prominent piece of “Evidence” of the robots on the table is just a photo of a red truck with no other context of it being anything but a truck.
During this, a grunt comes in and gives the news that everyone sent in has been killed, causing another odd facial reaction as Witwicky and his aide do big “Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat” expressions.
So, not only did he send troops in before getting briefed on the situation, the Colonel wasn’t even supervising the counterattack he was brought into coordinate.
What follows is two scenes that should probably have been in the reverse order for maximum impact. The first is the seekers flying overhead and blasting Brooklyn Bridge (not to be confused with Nofirstname Bridge). With the art making sure to show it was ram packed full of fleeing cars.
Love can build a bridge, but seekers can destroy it.
The, the Constructicons combine to form Devastator and, with Laserbeak broadcasting the scene both the army camp and the world, he wanders into the river and punches down. Which needs Witwicky to spell out means he’s destroying the tunnels, which is why maybe the bridge attack should have been the cliff-hanger as it’s immediately visually obvious what is happening.
But, the cliff-hanger has bigger issues that that. There are many Transformers stories to come that deal with dark, violent themes. Including some very good IDW comics. But what makes this different is how much this is visually based on the 1985 cartoon when, even in later comics in this continuity, it will be incredibly rare for a story about, say, death camps to unambiguously feature Saturday morning cartoon characters.
Here, seeing the combiner who once climbed the Empire State Building like King Kong, killing thousands of people by crushing and drowning is too much of a disconnect. It’s early Noughties edge lord stuff that basically misses the appeal of a very silly kids cartoon. It’s the mentality that gave us the moment in The Ultimates where the Hulk ate someone and has aged just as well.
It also rather misses the appeal of big dumb blockbusters, which very rarely especially linger on the actual human cost. Independence Day briefly pauses for a melancholy moment after killing millions, but it’s soon back to quick puns and Will Smith being cool. Really letting the horror sink in would be against the spirit of the whole blockbuster idea.
But, the cliff-hanger has bigger issues that that. There are many Transformers stories to come that deal with dark, violent themes. Including some very good IDW comics. But what makes this different is how much this is visually based on the 1985 cartoon when, even in later comics in this continuity, it will be incredibly rare for a story about, say, death camps to unambiguously feature Saturday morning cartoon characters.
Here, seeing the combiner who once climbed the Empire State Building like King Kong, killing thousands of people by crushing and drowning is too much of a disconnect. It’s early Noughties edge lord stuff that basically misses the appeal of a very silly kids cartoon. It’s the mentality that gave us the moment in The Ultimates where the Hulk ate someone and has aged just as well.
It also rather misses the appeal of big dumb blockbusters, which very rarely especially linger on the actual human cost. Independence Day briefly pauses for a melancholy moment after killing millions, but it’s soon back to quick puns and Will Smith being cool. Really letting the horror sink in would be against the spirit of the whole blockbuster idea.
Devastator love both watersports and fisting.
It’s also visually very similar to the “Devastator wins” cliff-hanger in the first Dreamwave miniseries from 2002, not only one of the most mocked images in all comics (it literally is responsible for the creation of the TVTropes page Dull Surprise), but which is also a company IDW had spent over two years saying they were better than, until they became desperate for those same sales figures.
The real issue with this though, is the conclusion of the Decepticons’ takeover of New York should clearly have been the ending to the first issue. Dragging it out over two is what has caused some of the pacing problems, and shows the lack of wisdom in taking a six issue pitch and turning it into 12 without giving the logistics very much thought.
After the first issue had surprised me by at least being surface level enjoyable, this is a mess. Form the introduction of the terrible Colonel Witwicky, to some off-art moments from Guido Guidi and the conflict between the sensibilities of a 1980s cartoon and We Are So Grown Up, there’s not a huge amount to enjoy here.
And, ironically, as with Megatron Origin, the titular character is not really a character at all yet.
The positives are basically the Frenzy sequence for its weird horror vibes, and Guidi’s art when it’s really on form, usually with the robots. Otherwise, this brave new era is stumbling already.
Next week, we’ll see if it gets back on track with the third part.
SPOTLIGHT: DOUBLEDEALER.
2008.
COMMENT.
KO-FI.
The real issue with this though, is the conclusion of the Decepticons’ takeover of New York should clearly have been the ending to the first issue. Dragging it out over two is what has caused some of the pacing problems, and shows the lack of wisdom in taking a six issue pitch and turning it into 12 without giving the logistics very much thought.
After the first issue had surprised me by at least being surface level enjoyable, this is a mess. Form the introduction of the terrible Colonel Witwicky, to some off-art moments from Guido Guidi and the conflict between the sensibilities of a 1980s cartoon and We Are So Grown Up, there’s not a huge amount to enjoy here.
And, ironically, as with Megatron Origin, the titular character is not really a character at all yet.
The positives are basically the Frenzy sequence for its weird horror vibes, and Guidi’s art when it’s really on form, usually with the robots. Otherwise, this brave new era is stumbling already.
Next week, we’ll see if it gets back on track with the third part.
SPOTLIGHT: DOUBLEDEALER.
2008.
COMMENT.
KO-FI.
