Just Like Jesus, I'm Growing a Pair.

Issue 261: The Primal Scream Part 3/Starting Over! 10th March 1990.
AAAAAAAAH!
First up, an interesting little curio that’s just come up on Simon Furman’s Twitter and Facebook as he works on The Definitive Collection. He’s noticed that a balding, moustached human fleeing from Superion in the story we covered two weeks ago is the same balding, moustached human fleeing from Grimlock way back in Decepticon Dam-Busters! Even down to the pose. See the comparison HERE.
As John Stokes drew both and he was an artist who liked to use reference material (his TFwiki entry has some nice comparisons showing the previous Transformers issues he used to base his poses on), it’s likely he had a folder full of stock photos he used and this one came up twice. Why not keep an eye out for Baldy-Tache in Stokes’ non-Transformers work.
Back to this week, and unusually Stephen Baskerville's cover isn’t as sharp as his work normally is. Most notably Prowl is insanely bug eyed. To the point that it feels the answer to the (Alias Smith and Jones quoting) “There’s one thing we’ve gotta get, Wheeljack” question should be “Decaf”.
Megatron has just done some really good drugs as well.
AAAAAAAAH!
First up, an interesting little curio that’s just come up on Simon Furman’s Twitter and Facebook as he works on The Definitive Collection. He’s noticed that a balding, moustached human fleeing from Superion in the story we covered two weeks ago is the same balding, moustached human fleeing from Grimlock way back in Decepticon Dam-Busters! Even down to the pose. See the comparison HERE.
As John Stokes drew both and he was an artist who liked to use reference material (his TFwiki entry has some nice comparisons showing the previous Transformers issues he used to base his poses on), it’s likely he had a folder full of stock photos he used and this one came up twice. Why not keep an eye out for Baldy-Tache in Stokes’ non-Transformers work.
Back to this week, and unusually Stephen Baskerville's cover isn’t as sharp as his work normally is. Most notably Prowl is insanely bug eyed. To the point that it feels the answer to the (Alias Smith and Jones quoting) “There’s one thing we’ve gotta get, Wheeljack” question should be “Decaf”.
Megatron has just done some really good drugs as well.

The Primal Scream concludes (note we’re still in three part territory, meaning more reprints will be needed sooner rather than later) with the back-half of the gloriously insane Classic Pretenders/Mayhems fight. Though pleasingly Furman remembers the Rescue Patrol got dragged along as well gives The Three Who Aren’t Fixit their only real chance to shine in the comic.
Starting, gloriously, with Seawatch harpooning Bludgeon in the leg and dragging him down the tunnel with a scream so mighty it should probably have woken Primus. Accompanied by a “You know how to water-ski, Bludgeon? Me neither!” quip that may well be the most awesome moment of the story.
Until you turn the page and see Grimlock call Octopunch “Fish-face” before headbutting him and cracking the glass in his diving helmet. Leading Octopunch to stumble backwards, shouting about how he is unbeatable, before The Other Two Rescue Patrol Guys trip him over a cliff edge. Compared to that, Jazz tricking Stranglehold into running into a wall isn’t quite at the same level, but it’s still an impressive three way takedown.
Bumblebee is incredibly smug about this, but too soon as Octopunch is actually just about still awake and attempts to shoot Grimlock...but the ricochet bounces off the Dinobot and hits Primus in the face.
Starting, gloriously, with Seawatch harpooning Bludgeon in the leg and dragging him down the tunnel with a scream so mighty it should probably have woken Primus. Accompanied by a “You know how to water-ski, Bludgeon? Me neither!” quip that may well be the most awesome moment of the story.
Until you turn the page and see Grimlock call Octopunch “Fish-face” before headbutting him and cracking the glass in his diving helmet. Leading Octopunch to stumble backwards, shouting about how he is unbeatable, before The Other Two Rescue Patrol Guys trip him over a cliff edge. Compared to that, Jazz tricking Stranglehold into running into a wall isn’t quite at the same level, but it’s still an impressive three way takedown.
Bumblebee is incredibly smug about this, but too soon as Octopunch is actually just about still awake and attempts to shoot Grimlock...but the ricochet bounces off the Dinobot and hits Primus in the face.

Octopunch shoots God in the face. It’s hard to tell what’s more impressive, that or Grimlock having an ass tougher than God’s face.
This results in a planet shattering scream that sets the direction for the US stories for more than a year. Xaaron ordering the techs to continue the teleport despite the tremors is extremely cool, but despite the lesson of five minutes earlier Bumblebee is incredibly smug once on Earth that Unicron won’t have heard the noise.
But it turns out that in space, demi-Gods can hear you scream. Deliciously, an entire page is given over to the slow reveal of Unicron, first in shadow in space and then close ups of his hand and mouth. For American readers this was of course the first time they’d seen him in the regular comic, and therefore its milked for all its worth before the big splash page reveal of him no longer sated by the planet he’s just eaten. Unicron has heard the scream, and is heading for Cybertron...
This may not be the most plot heavy of stories, basically being a flashback and a big fight. But it has hit all the right spots. Mainly thanks to the work of Geoff Senior, but Furman has still very carefully structured events so there’s still a hell of a lot rammed in here even with two pages given over to “Ahhhhhhh, Unicron!” Despite the slow start, this is the first out and out success of Furman’s US run and is an absolute key starting point for everything he’s going to do subsequently.
This results in a planet shattering scream that sets the direction for the US stories for more than a year. Xaaron ordering the techs to continue the teleport despite the tremors is extremely cool, but despite the lesson of five minutes earlier Bumblebee is incredibly smug once on Earth that Unicron won’t have heard the noise.
But it turns out that in space, demi-Gods can hear you scream. Deliciously, an entire page is given over to the slow reveal of Unicron, first in shadow in space and then close ups of his hand and mouth. For American readers this was of course the first time they’d seen him in the regular comic, and therefore its milked for all its worth before the big splash page reveal of him no longer sated by the planet he’s just eaten. Unicron has heard the scream, and is heading for Cybertron...
This may not be the most plot heavy of stories, basically being a flashback and a big fight. But it has hit all the right spots. Mainly thanks to the work of Geoff Senior, but Furman has still very carefully structured events so there’s still a hell of a lot rammed in here even with two pages given over to “Ahhhhhhh, Unicron!” Despite the slow start, this is the first out and out success of Furman’s US run and is an absolute key starting point for everything he’s going to do subsequently.

For the British strip, though we’re now firmly into the Earthforce era, I always forget just how long it takes to get to Earthforce itself. Starting Over! is the next step in a chain that always feels like a lot of effort when it could probably have been covered by “And Grimlock got put in charge of some Autobots on Earth.” And because we haven’t had a not entirely successful attempt to hide the identity of a surprise villain that’s totally ruined by the cover for a whole week, the fact Megatron is the baddy is kept a source of mystery until there’s the chance for a big reveal despite him looming large on the front of the book.
The thing people remember though is Prowl’s rant. He and Wheeljack are walking through the Arizona desert on orders from Prime to investigate possible Decepticon activity and Prowl takes the chance to bemoan how many new and different types of Transformers there are now and how shit they all are, something Wheeljack firmly agrees with (though as there are combiners in the Classics range, we’re assured they are good and proper).
This doesn’t really make any sense. Prowl and Wheeljack were both active at least as late as the introduction of the Pretenders, so most of the new gimmicks shouldn’t be a shock to them. Plus, Prowl was the pro-Ultimate Autobot guy and Wheeljack the crazy scientist guy who just three weeks ago was prepared to turn a fellow Autobot in to get the secrets of building fancy new Transformers. They should really both be quite fine with the brave new world they’ve woken up in.
The thing people remember though is Prowl’s rant. He and Wheeljack are walking through the Arizona desert on orders from Prime to investigate possible Decepticon activity and Prowl takes the chance to bemoan how many new and different types of Transformers there are now and how shit they all are, something Wheeljack firmly agrees with (though as there are combiners in the Classics range, we’re assured they are good and proper).
This doesn’t really make any sense. Prowl and Wheeljack were both active at least as late as the introduction of the Pretenders, so most of the new gimmicks shouldn’t be a shock to them. Plus, Prowl was the pro-Ultimate Autobot guy and Wheeljack the crazy scientist guy who just three weeks ago was prepared to turn a fellow Autobot in to get the secrets of building fancy new Transformers. They should really both be quite fine with the brave new world they’ve woken up in.

This is of course because they’ve become an author avatar. Amusingly for someone who has and will continue to make some of these later gimmick characters stand out (in the rest of this issue we have one of his great successes in Bludgeon), Furman is clearly burnt out by the sheer number of ever growing new Transformers and their unlikely USP. It’s telling he feels the need to vent like this so soon after taking over the American book where, though milder than what Uncle Bob had to put up with at the peak of the franchise, there’s more emphasis on that side of things than he usually experienced in the UK. I bet it was around having to write an entire issue about Longtooth that he snapped and decided to shout it out here.
It is an amusing rant though, even if for years I assumed “Double Targetmasters” was a deliberately OTT bit of sarcasm from Prowl rather than being an actual real thing. It’s rather fun that the only acknowledgement the comic will ever make there is such a thing (despite all the DT characters showing up) is done in order to slag it off.
The plot kicks in two pages into the story as Mixmaster and Longhaul arrive just as Prowl asks for some good old fashioned Decepticons. Prowl actually being pleased to see familiar faces and the Constructicons not giving a toss is nicely played, and though probably unintentional, the original “New Transformers are crap” (all the way back in Second Generation!) guy Mixmaster being there is a nice callback.
The fight (with a nice moment of Mixmaster jumping over Wheeljack in car mode, only to land on Prowl’s fist) is short and sweet and sees them head in the direction of reflective metal on top of a mountain, expecting a Microheadtargetmaster with a Pretender shell to be meeting them.
But it’s not, in a twist no one could have seen coming, it’s Megatron. Who gets a really nicely drawn reveal by Staz, and the gag of him helping Prowl finish his climb with a polite “Here, let me help you” is another fun moment.
It is an amusing rant though, even if for years I assumed “Double Targetmasters” was a deliberately OTT bit of sarcasm from Prowl rather than being an actual real thing. It’s rather fun that the only acknowledgement the comic will ever make there is such a thing (despite all the DT characters showing up) is done in order to slag it off.
The plot kicks in two pages into the story as Mixmaster and Longhaul arrive just as Prowl asks for some good old fashioned Decepticons. Prowl actually being pleased to see familiar faces and the Constructicons not giving a toss is nicely played, and though probably unintentional, the original “New Transformers are crap” (all the way back in Second Generation!) guy Mixmaster being there is a nice callback.
The fight (with a nice moment of Mixmaster jumping over Wheeljack in car mode, only to land on Prowl’s fist) is short and sweet and sees them head in the direction of reflective metal on top of a mountain, expecting a Microheadtargetmaster with a Pretender shell to be meeting them.
But it’s not, in a twist no one could have seen coming, it’s Megatron. Who gets a really nicely drawn reveal by Staz, and the gag of him helping Prowl finish his climb with a polite “Here, let me help you” is another fun moment.

But of course, Megatron is dead. But everyone reacts as if him being up and about is normal and fine and status quo. This is more than a little confusing just a few weeks after Ratchet blew him up. The next issue will deal with a similar discontinuity with a footnote containing a blatant lie that will clarify these stories are happening some vague time after the colour strips (though there’s no easy moment for this to slip in), but there’s no attempt to rationalise things for readers here.
And even if you don’t care about continuity—and it’s clear from the comments last week plenty of people are happy to treat Earthforce as its own thing—it’s still a deeply half arsed revival for the franchise’s lead villain. It doesn’t help that he’s reduced to generic Evil Plot of the Week stuff from here on in where it’s been a long time since Megs has filled that role so regularly. As with Galvatron last week, it feels like this would have worked better with a more minor Decepticon in the role, perhaps having the Constructicons doing it off their own back?
Megs is about to launch a satellite that will do A Thing (no one cares), but kindly lets Prowl and Wheeljack watch, even letting Prowl (possibly both) keep his gun. The Autobots realise the odds are against them...just like old times, and go charging in with the promise this is “The end...and a new beginning!”
I really enjoyed this one as a kid, but going back over it now, devoting so much time to the bitching means the story barely has chance to get started and Prowl and Wheeljack’s noble last stand is reduced to one small panel. There’s some neat jokes and great Staz art, but overall the bold new direction is feeling smaller and of less consequence that the US series at this point.
Transformation suffers a misprint that leaves the colours off, which is a shame as the representative panel for the UK story is the one chance we have to see it in colour. Amusingly it also tries to keep the villains of both stories a surprise, even though one has been been spoiled by previous letters pages and the other is on the cover. There’s also some promotion for both Matrix Quest and the slow move towards Earthforce.
Dread Tidings has what may well be a Dreadwind Fails to Answer Questions Properly! depending on how you view the timeline as he assures J.H. Myers of Southend on Sea that Time Wars is part of a stable time loop where the future events will swing round and happen again exactly as before.
And even if you don’t care about continuity—and it’s clear from the comments last week plenty of people are happy to treat Earthforce as its own thing—it’s still a deeply half arsed revival for the franchise’s lead villain. It doesn’t help that he’s reduced to generic Evil Plot of the Week stuff from here on in where it’s been a long time since Megs has filled that role so regularly. As with Galvatron last week, it feels like this would have worked better with a more minor Decepticon in the role, perhaps having the Constructicons doing it off their own back?
Megs is about to launch a satellite that will do A Thing (no one cares), but kindly lets Prowl and Wheeljack watch, even letting Prowl (possibly both) keep his gun. The Autobots realise the odds are against them...just like old times, and go charging in with the promise this is “The end...and a new beginning!”
I really enjoyed this one as a kid, but going back over it now, devoting so much time to the bitching means the story barely has chance to get started and Prowl and Wheeljack’s noble last stand is reduced to one small panel. There’s some neat jokes and great Staz art, but overall the bold new direction is feeling smaller and of less consequence that the US series at this point.
Transformation suffers a misprint that leaves the colours off, which is a shame as the representative panel for the UK story is the one chance we have to see it in colour. Amusingly it also tries to keep the villains of both stories a surprise, even though one has been been spoiled by previous letters pages and the other is on the cover. There’s also some promotion for both Matrix Quest and the slow move towards Earthforce.
Dread Tidings has what may well be a Dreadwind Fails to Answer Questions Properly! depending on how you view the timeline as he assures J.H. Myers of Southend on Sea that Time Wars is part of a stable time loop where the future events will swing round and happen again exactly as before.

The second part of the Classics Heroes competition asks you to identify the faces of the six toys you can will. I actually scrawled answers on this in pencil at the time but never got to send it off. I’m still bitter about that.
Combat Colin goes to meet his agent, who both looks like Frank “Fluff” Freeman and has a poster of Colin on his wall with “The Face of the ‘90’s” on it. Colin has come to inspect his new merchandise, which is basically a bunch of crap (“Combat Colin toilet seat cover (with Combat toilet)...Combat Paving Slab (cracked)”) with a Combat Colin sticker slapped on it that becomes so heavy as Colin tries to hold it he falls through the floorboards. Leading to Combat Fatigue. It’s a nice one-off strip, and feel entertainingly like biting the hand that feeds by mocking terrible tie-in products.
G.I. Joe: The Action Force spends a tremendous amount of time on the simple reveal that Snake Eyes and the others faked blowing themselves up. Leading to the hilarious line from Snake Eyes: “Someone made a mistake. A ninja does not step on a land mine.” Things do end on a more interesting note though as Fred prepares to go to Cobra Island by hiring a funny Japanese man’s boat.
All this and an All Dogs go to Heaven advert.
Next week, God knows. Ratchet probably turns up randomly doing a conga.
ISSUE 260
1990
COMMENT
Combat Colin goes to meet his agent, who both looks like Frank “Fluff” Freeman and has a poster of Colin on his wall with “The Face of the ‘90’s” on it. Colin has come to inspect his new merchandise, which is basically a bunch of crap (“Combat Colin toilet seat cover (with Combat toilet)...Combat Paving Slab (cracked)”) with a Combat Colin sticker slapped on it that becomes so heavy as Colin tries to hold it he falls through the floorboards. Leading to Combat Fatigue. It’s a nice one-off strip, and feel entertainingly like biting the hand that feeds by mocking terrible tie-in products.
G.I. Joe: The Action Force spends a tremendous amount of time on the simple reveal that Snake Eyes and the others faked blowing themselves up. Leading to the hilarious line from Snake Eyes: “Someone made a mistake. A ninja does not step on a land mine.” Things do end on a more interesting note though as Fred prepares to go to Cobra Island by hiring a funny Japanese man’s boat.
All this and an All Dogs go to Heaven advert.
Next week, God knows. Ratchet probably turns up randomly doing a conga.
ISSUE 260
1990
COMMENT