You Fat Bastard, You Fat Bastard, You Ate all the Pies.
Issue 176: People Power! Part 1. 23rd July 1988.
Stuff the rosy forecast Dreadwind, I get the point.
I met Roger Moore! One of my all time greatest heroes. Watch me talk about it HERE. I’m so pleased about this I’m not even going to bother to try and connect this paragraph to the rest of the piece. Though it might have put me in a very good mood...
Though the cover (with what will become a very familiar Dreadwind pose and a seeming cameo from Lord Zarak amongst the Nebulons)—or perhaps more surprisingly the Transformation page—doesn’t mention it it’s fair to say the more astute reader would have worked out in advance People Power! Part 1 is going to be the opening to the story that will culminate in the Return of the Greatest Autobot of All Time. Said astute reader will therefore wind up mildly surprised that the setup for this makes up only a very small subplot in these first 11 pages.
So let’s deal with that first as, whilst it’ll obviously have the more long lasting consequences, it’s comfortably the least fun part of the issue. The Steelhaven arrives at Nebulos and finds the scientist Hi-Q—apparently a friend of Galen’s who is so good at robotics no one thought to involve him in Headmasters—and ask him to build a new body for Optimus Prime. Hi-Q has no interest in this as he doesn’t regard robots as alive and has his own problems (which we’ll come to shortly), but when they won’t listen to his advice about leaving before the poisonous local fuel affects them he does decide to lend a hand.
It’s clearly the part of the issue Budiansky is least interested in, but there’s actually some nice stuff in here. Hi-Q’s plot is basically going to be a highly condensed version of Galen’s (he even has a potential love interest amongst his crew in the shape of Kari), but him being dismissive of robot life and having to come to respect them is an interesting addition. The way he’ll grudgingly admire the Autobots for working through their weakening state to try and save Optimus before suddenly throwing in a “What superbly engineered robots!” as if trying to remind himself that’s all they all is nicely done.
Stuff the rosy forecast Dreadwind, I get the point.
I met Roger Moore! One of my all time greatest heroes. Watch me talk about it HERE. I’m so pleased about this I’m not even going to bother to try and connect this paragraph to the rest of the piece. Though it might have put me in a very good mood...
Though the cover (with what will become a very familiar Dreadwind pose and a seeming cameo from Lord Zarak amongst the Nebulons)—or perhaps more surprisingly the Transformation page—doesn’t mention it it’s fair to say the more astute reader would have worked out in advance People Power! Part 1 is going to be the opening to the story that will culminate in the Return of the Greatest Autobot of All Time. Said astute reader will therefore wind up mildly surprised that the setup for this makes up only a very small subplot in these first 11 pages.
So let’s deal with that first as, whilst it’ll obviously have the more long lasting consequences, it’s comfortably the least fun part of the issue. The Steelhaven arrives at Nebulos and finds the scientist Hi-Q—apparently a friend of Galen’s who is so good at robotics no one thought to involve him in Headmasters—and ask him to build a new body for Optimus Prime. Hi-Q has no interest in this as he doesn’t regard robots as alive and has his own problems (which we’ll come to shortly), but when they won’t listen to his advice about leaving before the poisonous local fuel affects them he does decide to lend a hand.
It’s clearly the part of the issue Budiansky is least interested in, but there’s actually some nice stuff in here. Hi-Q’s plot is basically going to be a highly condensed version of Galen’s (he even has a potential love interest amongst his crew in the shape of Kari), but him being dismissive of robot life and having to come to respect them is an interesting addition. The way he’ll grudgingly admire the Autobots for working through their weakening state to try and save Optimus before suddenly throwing in a “What superbly engineered robots!” as if trying to remind himself that’s all they all is nicely done.
Love the threads darling.
He also looks fantastic, wearing an outfit with massive collar and pink shades that Elton John would so want for his next birthday party. Surprisingly, as he’s fatter than he’ll later be and doesn’t have any hair at all (the Powermaster process must be good for shifting weight and curing male pattern baldness), he’s not yet the spitting image of Patrick Stewart as he’ll become. Meaning I’ll have to save all the jokes I’d gotten lined up for a later date.
The other surprise in this section is how much fun Joyride is, being incredibly petulant and angry at just about everything. Enjoy this moment in the sun Joyride, it won’t last for you.
The meat (and two veg) of the issue though is in the introduction of the Decepticon Powermasters. After the less than enthusiastic feeling to the last two weeks, it’s clear that Bob is just out to have some fun here and creates his most memorable characters since the Battlechargers over 18 months ago.
The simple way for Bob to introduce Darkwing and Dreadwind would have been the same that he used for the Pretenders (and indeed the Autobot Powermasters), “Oh yeah, they were amongst the crew all along!” Instead he goes out of his way to avoid this, making them the first characters in ages to get a proper origin as opposed to an origin for their gimmick. And it’s delightfully bonkers.
The idea is they came to Nebulos looking to find where the then recently departed Decepticons went, and began tearing stuff up after they failed to get a decent answer (the Nebulons having foolishly gotten rid of all their weapons again). Leading scientist Hi-Q deals with this by poisoning the entire planet’s fuel supply (as we’ll see, there’s no kill like overkill for Hi-Q), causing them to seize up.
That all sounds relatively normal, but it’s when the Zarak to Hi-Q’s Galen is introduced things take a turn for the tongue in cheek. Q’s scientist partner Hi-Test (him having the same first name as Hi-Q seems to mean nothing, alongside Lube, Rev and Hotwire Bob seems to have forgotten Nebulans once had proper names) is so annoyed at Hi-Q having gotten all the glory he decides, with the help of low life thug Throttle whom he picks up in a bar (!) to wake up the Decepticons just out of spite.
The other surprise in this section is how much fun Joyride is, being incredibly petulant and angry at just about everything. Enjoy this moment in the sun Joyride, it won’t last for you.
The meat (and two veg) of the issue though is in the introduction of the Decepticon Powermasters. After the less than enthusiastic feeling to the last two weeks, it’s clear that Bob is just out to have some fun here and creates his most memorable characters since the Battlechargers over 18 months ago.
The simple way for Bob to introduce Darkwing and Dreadwind would have been the same that he used for the Pretenders (and indeed the Autobot Powermasters), “Oh yeah, they were amongst the crew all along!” Instead he goes out of his way to avoid this, making them the first characters in ages to get a proper origin as opposed to an origin for their gimmick. And it’s delightfully bonkers.
The idea is they came to Nebulos looking to find where the then recently departed Decepticons went, and began tearing stuff up after they failed to get a decent answer (the Nebulons having foolishly gotten rid of all their weapons again). Leading scientist Hi-Q deals with this by poisoning the entire planet’s fuel supply (as we’ll see, there’s no kill like overkill for Hi-Q), causing them to seize up.
That all sounds relatively normal, but it’s when the Zarak to Hi-Q’s Galen is introduced things take a turn for the tongue in cheek. Q’s scientist partner Hi-Test (him having the same first name as Hi-Q seems to mean nothing, alongside Lube, Rev and Hotwire Bob seems to have forgotten Nebulans once had proper names) is so annoyed at Hi-Q having gotten all the glory he decides, with the help of low life thug Throttle whom he picks up in a bar (!) to wake up the Decepticons just out of spite.
"One day I'll be on the cover every week"
"A likely story"
To be fair to Hi-Test, considering that all Hi-Q managed to do was poison fuel whilst he manages to come up with a way of converting the humanoid body into a living engine capable of powering outer space robot people I’d say he’s definitely the better scientist out of the two. People into engines is probably the silliest yet of the Master gimmicks, but once Hi-Test has convinced Dreadwind and Darkwing to submit to the process so they can move and again, we witness the birth of the Powermasters and we get the most fiendish, evil reign of terror yet seen in the comic...
Food theft! Yes, because the Powermaster process is energy-intensive the Decepticons are now forced to spend all their time raiding restaurants. Bob plays this to the hilt with exchanges like: “Tell your chef we want 20 servings of your best entrees—fast!” “And he better not overcook ‘em...”, which are best read in the most threatening hoodlum voice possible for full effect. It feels as if Budiansky is mercilessly sending up the stock “Decepticons steal fuel” plot and is taking great delight in doing so, even throwing in what may well be the first and only bit of real science in the whole series with the idea the Nebulons would need to constantly refuel themselves before powering the Transformers.
Backing this up is the brilliant writing for the Decepticons. Dreadwind and Darkwing are a comedy manic depressive double act, constantly insulting each other and the world around them with a fatalistic glee. After some of the very stolid dialogue in the last two weeks this is a blessing, and it’s easy to see why someone in the UK office read this and instantly thought “New letters’ page host”. Tellingly they’re pretty much the only characters introduced during this phase of the American book Bob will be interested in enough to give a second showcase story to after their initial one. It probably also helps that, as the Autobots were featured in the previous story, there’s only two new characters to introduce here, meaning there’s a chance to actually give them a personality unlike the poor old Pretenders.
It’s equally amusing that the Food Thieves spend some considerable time raiding restaurants before it occurs to them to return to their original goal of finding out where Scorponok’s Decepticons have gone, going back to The Council of Peers to demand some answers, with it being another nice touch that Hi-Test (who after all only wanted some respect and, more recently, feeding), is reticent to actually hurt anyone.
Back at Hi-Q’s lab it turns out his one and only solution to the problem is to poison the food of the entire planet (!), meaning the now dangerously out of fuel Autobots must go bravely into battle to stop the Decepticons before their obviously insane new ally kills everyone. The cliff-hanger then becomes the cover moment as—in the creation of a running gag—Darkwing uses the statue only recently repaired after Blurr destroyed it in Headmasters to threaten the Nebulon government...
The fact supposed genius Hi-Q cant’ come up with a sane solution to deal with two food thieves is probably the weakest part of the whole issue, but overall this is great--albeit very silly and therefore understandably not to all tastes--fun that, though not a substantial meal still washes out the bad taste left in the mouth by the previous story.
In terms of art, Jose Delbo does much better with an issue mostly focused on humanoids, providing a nice solid look to the issue. Though the first appearance of the combined jet for of Darkwing and Dreadwind is so wonky I initially thought it was an attempt at a Cybertronian mode before the next page showed their perfectly normal separate vehicle modes.
It’s worth noting that the extreme difficulty of the previous story and its massive fight results here in Delbo having some additional help, which the UK comic has actually downplayed. On the original American issue Dave Hunt and Don Hudson are jointly credited for “Finishes” (ie: Delbo basically did the rough outline and they, well, finished it). The British printing only credits Hunt, and just for “Inks”, presumably because the format of how the UK team presents the credits along the bottom of the page doesn’t leave room for an additional name. It’s possible the template only had “Inks” on it as well and no one could be bothered to create a new job title.
Food theft! Yes, because the Powermaster process is energy-intensive the Decepticons are now forced to spend all their time raiding restaurants. Bob plays this to the hilt with exchanges like: “Tell your chef we want 20 servings of your best entrees—fast!” “And he better not overcook ‘em...”, which are best read in the most threatening hoodlum voice possible for full effect. It feels as if Budiansky is mercilessly sending up the stock “Decepticons steal fuel” plot and is taking great delight in doing so, even throwing in what may well be the first and only bit of real science in the whole series with the idea the Nebulons would need to constantly refuel themselves before powering the Transformers.
Backing this up is the brilliant writing for the Decepticons. Dreadwind and Darkwing are a comedy manic depressive double act, constantly insulting each other and the world around them with a fatalistic glee. After some of the very stolid dialogue in the last two weeks this is a blessing, and it’s easy to see why someone in the UK office read this and instantly thought “New letters’ page host”. Tellingly they’re pretty much the only characters introduced during this phase of the American book Bob will be interested in enough to give a second showcase story to after their initial one. It probably also helps that, as the Autobots were featured in the previous story, there’s only two new characters to introduce here, meaning there’s a chance to actually give them a personality unlike the poor old Pretenders.
It’s equally amusing that the Food Thieves spend some considerable time raiding restaurants before it occurs to them to return to their original goal of finding out where Scorponok’s Decepticons have gone, going back to The Council of Peers to demand some answers, with it being another nice touch that Hi-Test (who after all only wanted some respect and, more recently, feeding), is reticent to actually hurt anyone.
Back at Hi-Q’s lab it turns out his one and only solution to the problem is to poison the food of the entire planet (!), meaning the now dangerously out of fuel Autobots must go bravely into battle to stop the Decepticons before their obviously insane new ally kills everyone. The cliff-hanger then becomes the cover moment as—in the creation of a running gag—Darkwing uses the statue only recently repaired after Blurr destroyed it in Headmasters to threaten the Nebulon government...
The fact supposed genius Hi-Q cant’ come up with a sane solution to deal with two food thieves is probably the weakest part of the whole issue, but overall this is great--albeit very silly and therefore understandably not to all tastes--fun that, though not a substantial meal still washes out the bad taste left in the mouth by the previous story.
In terms of art, Jose Delbo does much better with an issue mostly focused on humanoids, providing a nice solid look to the issue. Though the first appearance of the combined jet for of Darkwing and Dreadwind is so wonky I initially thought it was an attempt at a Cybertronian mode before the next page showed their perfectly normal separate vehicle modes.
It’s worth noting that the extreme difficulty of the previous story and its massive fight results here in Delbo having some additional help, which the UK comic has actually downplayed. On the original American issue Dave Hunt and Don Hudson are jointly credited for “Finishes” (ie: Delbo basically did the rough outline and they, well, finished it). The British printing only credits Hunt, and just for “Inks”, presumably because the format of how the UK team presents the credits along the bottom of the page doesn’t leave room for an additional name. It’s possible the template only had “Inks” on it as well and no one could be bothered to create a new job title.
This may be the greatest comic of all time.
Transformation is all about Powermasters this week, and the opening blurb is another of the ones that basically tells you the entire plot of the issue, though charitably it encourages you to find out exactly what a Powermaster is for yourself. The sidebar is given over to promoting the Transformers Holiday Special, collecting Second Generation! as no one liked Devastation Derby! enough for it to be reprinted, making that the first major British story since Raiders of the Last Ark to have been skipped by the Collected Comics.
You can tell Grimlock is heading towards the end of his time on the letters’ page as life really seems to be getting him down at the moment; clearly losing Autobot leadership hit him hard. His response to Nigel Steele of Orewa New Zealand writing in to smugly boast of all the toys available there that the UK hasn’t received is a “Sheesh!”, whilst Omar Rahman pointing out that the Headmasters video is set after the film and he actually likes the cartoon gets a resigned “There had to be one I suppose!”.
Action Force sees the man who has been giving subtle hints of being an Admiral actually called as such, which is lucky as lines like “I always say “Don’t give up the ship”” are still rather inconclusive. The highlight of the issue though is Flint, who is pure badass hardcore manliness as he takes out an Eel despite having been roughed over and then breaks into the base’s armoury (that a jobsworth isn’t letting the rest of Action Force into because he doesn’t believe Action Force are stationed there, see how this needless secrecy is screwing everything up?) with a “You need proper authorisation for us to draw weapons? I’ll give you proper authorisation...in blood!” He also looks to be drawn like Gregory Peck, which just adds to the awesome.
Combat Colin arrives (or rather crashes) in North America and instantly finds a Bigfoot (“It helps to speed the story along a bit” as a narration box cheerfully tells us) before Semi-Automatic Steve makes the mistake of asking why the charming ape creature is called a big foot, and gets stomped in the face for his troubles.
But all this is nothing, and I mean nothing, compared to the return of Energy Giving Beefballs! Though sadly they seem to be called Titans Beefballs this time, presumably someone thought getting the actual brand name into the strip advert might be an idea.
Equally sadly there’s no Evil Eric this time; instead a British school is doing tryouts for the Titans’ (that’s the faux American football team, they’re not trying out to be beefballs) Junior Team and, as British children, are obviously really excited about the idea. One foolish kid simply tries to get on the team by working out before “Shoulders Shaun! Titans’ Star Player!” randomly appears in this school gym to tell the kid what he really needs is to stick some Titans Beefballs in his mouth.
Oh dear.
Suspiciously this works and the boy gets onto the team, with Shoulders Shaun having a far too sinister grin on his face as he declares “You’re real hot stuff kid!” I hope this boy enjoys the taste of Titans Beefballs (shouldn’t it be Titans’ Beefballs anyway if they’re the beefballs of the team? How much simpler it was when they were Energy Giving Beefballs).
I can only hope that there’s going to be a crossover with Peter Pez Clown Policeman in SPACE at some point.
Hey, maybe they should just feed Hi-Test and Throttle on Energy Giving Beefballs?
Next week: He’s back!
ISSUE 175
1988
COMMENT
You can tell Grimlock is heading towards the end of his time on the letters’ page as life really seems to be getting him down at the moment; clearly losing Autobot leadership hit him hard. His response to Nigel Steele of Orewa New Zealand writing in to smugly boast of all the toys available there that the UK hasn’t received is a “Sheesh!”, whilst Omar Rahman pointing out that the Headmasters video is set after the film and he actually likes the cartoon gets a resigned “There had to be one I suppose!”.
Action Force sees the man who has been giving subtle hints of being an Admiral actually called as such, which is lucky as lines like “I always say “Don’t give up the ship”” are still rather inconclusive. The highlight of the issue though is Flint, who is pure badass hardcore manliness as he takes out an Eel despite having been roughed over and then breaks into the base’s armoury (that a jobsworth isn’t letting the rest of Action Force into because he doesn’t believe Action Force are stationed there, see how this needless secrecy is screwing everything up?) with a “You need proper authorisation for us to draw weapons? I’ll give you proper authorisation...in blood!” He also looks to be drawn like Gregory Peck, which just adds to the awesome.
Combat Colin arrives (or rather crashes) in North America and instantly finds a Bigfoot (“It helps to speed the story along a bit” as a narration box cheerfully tells us) before Semi-Automatic Steve makes the mistake of asking why the charming ape creature is called a big foot, and gets stomped in the face for his troubles.
But all this is nothing, and I mean nothing, compared to the return of Energy Giving Beefballs! Though sadly they seem to be called Titans Beefballs this time, presumably someone thought getting the actual brand name into the strip advert might be an idea.
Equally sadly there’s no Evil Eric this time; instead a British school is doing tryouts for the Titans’ (that’s the faux American football team, they’re not trying out to be beefballs) Junior Team and, as British children, are obviously really excited about the idea. One foolish kid simply tries to get on the team by working out before “Shoulders Shaun! Titans’ Star Player!” randomly appears in this school gym to tell the kid what he really needs is to stick some Titans Beefballs in his mouth.
Oh dear.
Suspiciously this works and the boy gets onto the team, with Shoulders Shaun having a far too sinister grin on his face as he declares “You’re real hot stuff kid!” I hope this boy enjoys the taste of Titans Beefballs (shouldn’t it be Titans’ Beefballs anyway if they’re the beefballs of the team? How much simpler it was when they were Energy Giving Beefballs).
I can only hope that there’s going to be a crossover with Peter Pez Clown Policeman in SPACE at some point.
Hey, maybe they should just feed Hi-Test and Throttle on Energy Giving Beefballs?
Next week: He’s back!
ISSUE 175
1988
COMMENT
The altered credits.
