So, I’m Going to Move, Right Outta This old Town, When This old Skin, Finally Touches the Ground.
Ironhide Issue 4: Chapter 4: Any Old Iron. August 4th 2010.
Me? Fight them?! I’m Alpha Trion!
Someone has definitely had a word with Mike Costa about his slow openings by this point, as for the first time in this series he actually starts not only with something actually happening, but some full-on action as close to half the issue is given over to Ironhide fighting the Swarm.
This is all basic bread and butter stuff to Guido Guidi, and he doesn’t disappoint, creating a fun, exciting action sequence of Ironhide beating impossible odds by himself. With a little help, in an unlikely call-back to All Hail Megatron, from finding the crashed ship Trion (oh the iorny) and being able to use both its guns and, as it begins to get overrun, its self-destruct sequence. Ejecting at the last second, like a USAF pilot trying to land their latest trillion-dollar jet.
Bit of topical humour that won’t make sense in six months there. Never say my finger isn’t on the pulse.
This still leaves about 200 Insecticons, with Ironhide now running low on inspiration. Luckily, Alpha Trion is ready to lend a hand.
Me? Fight them?! I’m Alpha Trion!
Someone has definitely had a word with Mike Costa about his slow openings by this point, as for the first time in this series he actually starts not only with something actually happening, but some full-on action as close to half the issue is given over to Ironhide fighting the Swarm.
This is all basic bread and butter stuff to Guido Guidi, and he doesn’t disappoint, creating a fun, exciting action sequence of Ironhide beating impossible odds by himself. With a little help, in an unlikely call-back to All Hail Megatron, from finding the crashed ship Trion (oh the iorny) and being able to use both its guns and, as it begins to get overrun, its self-destruct sequence. Ejecting at the last second, like a USAF pilot trying to land their latest trillion-dollar jet.
Bit of topical humour that won’t make sense in six months there. Never say my finger isn’t on the pulse.
This still leaves about 200 Insecticons, with Ironhide now running low on inspiration. Luckily, Alpha Trion is ready to lend a hand.
The first of two Trions he wreaks this issue.
Metroplex’s hand that is, as it comes down and splatters the remaining Swam in a nice visually call-back to Marvel’s Space Pirates.
Ironhide is at first confused by this as he has no idea what a Metroplex is (something later writers would cheerfully contradict as they’ll have the Autobots based in Metroplex at a point before Ironhide lost his memories. Indeed, Alpha Trion will be around as well…), and then he’s annoyed that they didn’t just do this in the first place.
Which gives us the funniest moment in the issue, as first, Trion comes up for an almost reasonable explanation for not using Metroplex: The Swam needed thinning out first as trying it before would have just resulted in them overrunning Metroplex and eating out his insides (though, why didn’t they attack the energy rich city when it was stationary?).
But then, hilariously, when Ironhide asks why Trion wouldn’t just use his superpower on any Swan that got inside, Trion is absolutely disgusted at the idea of fighting himself, because “I’m Alpha Trion.”
Ironhide is at first confused by this as he has no idea what a Metroplex is (something later writers would cheerfully contradict as they’ll have the Autobots based in Metroplex at a point before Ironhide lost his memories. Indeed, Alpha Trion will be around as well…), and then he’s annoyed that they didn’t just do this in the first place.
Which gives us the funniest moment in the issue, as first, Trion comes up for an almost reasonable explanation for not using Metroplex: The Swam needed thinning out first as trying it before would have just resulted in them overrunning Metroplex and eating out his insides (though, why didn’t they attack the energy rich city when it was stationary?).
But then, hilariously, when Ironhide asks why Trion wouldn’t just use his superpower on any Swan that got inside, Trion is absolutely disgusted at the idea of fighting himself, because “I’m Alpha Trion.”
Nothing worse than getting hand-me-downs for Christmas.
Which is both an exactly in character explanation, and I guess means I owe Costa an apology as it turns out the series does deal with why his robot control ability gets ignored in future, he’s just too much of a dick.
On the plus side, he has mostly glued Sunstreaker back together, even if he’s now using a wheelchair.
But, fully back into dick territory, Trion declares he, and on his assumption, Sunstreaker (who has some “unique experiences with the human race” that will make him useful for the next mission. I can’t remember if this lines up with what we see A3 doing next) will be leaving Cybertron now, so Ironhide better sort out the remaining Swam stragglers by himself.
Oh, and Ironhide doesn’t need an explanation for any of this he’s just too stupid.
Which is the point he turns out to be Trion it on too hard, as Ironhide decks him, much to Sunstreaker’s shock. Ironhide even follows this up with a pretty badass boast in response to Alpha Trion asking if he’s mad, “My bodyguard is as big as a city!”
“Yeah? Well, I just killed an entire city, so who’s the one who should be scared right now?”
On the plus side, he has mostly glued Sunstreaker back together, even if he’s now using a wheelchair.
But, fully back into dick territory, Trion declares he, and on his assumption, Sunstreaker (who has some “unique experiences with the human race” that will make him useful for the next mission. I can’t remember if this lines up with what we see A3 doing next) will be leaving Cybertron now, so Ironhide better sort out the remaining Swam stragglers by himself.
Oh, and Ironhide doesn’t need an explanation for any of this he’s just too stupid.
Which is the point he turns out to be Trion it on too hard, as Ironhide decks him, much to Sunstreaker’s shock. Ironhide even follows this up with a pretty badass boast in response to Alpha Trion asking if he’s mad, “My bodyguard is as big as a city!”
“Yeah? Well, I just killed an entire city, so who’s the one who should be scared right now?”
His fist be ever ready for a knock-down-blow.
Ironhide’s balls are so big they’re hanging off the bottom of the page.
Alpha Trion taking the time to more properly explain that Cybertron was only habitable during All Hail Megatron thanks to him having already started his work is a continuity patch Ironhide doesn’t understand but making him realise that there’s more going on than he remembers does calm things down. Giving Sunstreaker chance to declare he’s going to stay with Ironhide, even if it means a longer wait for his legs to be fixed, because he feels he needs to do something good to make up for his prior… selfish behaviour.
And it really odd that Sunstreaker is getting more and better character stuff in this series than the titular star.
Iornhide does have one last question before Metroplex leaves, how did Trion know to build him this new body in the event of his death?
Which is an odd question as it’s already been explained it’s been a year since Ironhide died, so Alpha Trion clearly wasn’t all ready and prepared for it.
Alpha Trion taking the time to more properly explain that Cybertron was only habitable during All Hail Megatron thanks to him having already started his work is a continuity patch Ironhide doesn’t understand but making him realise that there’s more going on than he remembers does calm things down. Giving Sunstreaker chance to declare he’s going to stay with Ironhide, even if it means a longer wait for his legs to be fixed, because he feels he needs to do something good to make up for his prior… selfish behaviour.
And it really odd that Sunstreaker is getting more and better character stuff in this series than the titular star.
Iornhide does have one last question before Metroplex leaves, how did Trion know to build him this new body in the event of his death?
Which is an odd question as it’s already been explained it’s been a year since Ironhide died, so Alpha Trion clearly wasn’t all ready and prepared for it.
Sunstreaker, making it all about him again.
Still, either way, Alpha Trion cheerfully tells him that of course Ironhide was eventually going to die by talking a hit for someone else. That’s the sort of guy he is.
And then he’s gone, leaving the two Autobots (and a self-regenerating power cell) behind, with Sunstreaker really wanting to have a conversation about All Hail Megatron, but Ironhide, as a sensible bot, refuses to have any truck with that, instead going to take a moment amongst the dead Swam and ruined city to pause and reflect.
Which, four issues in, is the first and—because it’s the last page—only example of a full page spread where nothing is actually happening working, because it’s an earned character moment.
Despite being nearly all action and therefore not having a lot to say about it, this is the best issue by far. If it was meant to be one or two issues of the ongoing originally, it feels like Costa dragged out the opening interminably and put all the actual… well, “Man fights insects” is hardly a plot as such, but events into the final issue.
And then he’s gone, leaving the two Autobots (and a self-regenerating power cell) behind, with Sunstreaker really wanting to have a conversation about All Hail Megatron, but Ironhide, as a sensible bot, refuses to have any truck with that, instead going to take a moment amongst the dead Swam and ruined city to pause and reflect.
Which, four issues in, is the first and—because it’s the last page—only example of a full page spread where nothing is actually happening working, because it’s an earned character moment.
Despite being nearly all action and therefore not having a lot to say about it, this is the best issue by far. If it was meant to be one or two issues of the ongoing originally, it feels like Costa dragged out the opening interminably and put all the actual… well, “Man fights insects” is hardly a plot as such, but events into the final issue.
He's going to wish he had a cape and hat in this weather.
Including some good gags, a nice cathartic punch and some decent character work for Sunstreaker. Even if Ironhide himself neve really moves beyond “The Stoic one.” And Alpha Trion remains great fun, plus, if even if he’s not a character so much as a force, you have to give Metroplex a big hand.
For the series as a whole, it’s too little too late. Though at least reading it in trade means you can skip through the nothing of interest parts pretty fast as opposed to this issue-by-issue approach. However, as an issue in and of itself, this was quite entertaining, if completely harmless and ultimately throwaway, fluff.
The main worry is, is this really the high watermark we can expect from Costa? Or has a corner finally been turned?
Find out next week, on Christmas day, where nothing says “Happy holidays” like invading North Korea.
THE TRANSFORMERS ISSUE 9
2010
COMMENT
KO-FI
For the series as a whole, it’s too little too late. Though at least reading it in trade means you can skip through the nothing of interest parts pretty fast as opposed to this issue-by-issue approach. However, as an issue in and of itself, this was quite entertaining, if completely harmless and ultimately throwaway, fluff.
The main worry is, is this really the high watermark we can expect from Costa? Or has a corner finally been turned?
Find out next week, on Christmas day, where nothing says “Happy holidays” like invading North Korea.
THE TRANSFORMERS ISSUE 9
2010
COMMENT
KO-FI
