We Three Kings of Orient are, One in a Taxi, One on a Scooter, One Smoking a Big Cigar.
The Transformers issue 28: Chaos Part Three: Kings. October 19th 2011.
“Dead leg”? What the hell?
It’s meant to be another Biblical quote title this issue, but I assume the pun that makes it read Three Kings is an intentional one for fans of early Noughties George Clooney films.
The gags keep coming on the first two pages, which are entirely written by James Roberts in order to set up character for More Than Meets the Eye, in particular, Bainstorm (clutching a briefcase) and Chromedome. Who are shown piloting a packed escape pod from Kimia, bickering about the flashing warning lights and how escape pods should be bigger so everyone can escape.
This does neatly show why I’m mot a huge fan of these crossovers using two writers who are neatly divided into just handling “Their” characters, it actively doesn’t read like it’s by the same person who wrote the bulk (I wouldn’t be surprised if Roberts wrote the odd line for his other characters here and there, especially Ratchet pointing out they should have realised Megatron would escape) of the rest of the issue.
It's also not completely clear at this stage, and I can’t remember, if this will have any relevance to this actual story or is just establishing characters and nothing more.
“Dead leg”? What the hell?
It’s meant to be another Biblical quote title this issue, but I assume the pun that makes it read Three Kings is an intentional one for fans of early Noughties George Clooney films.
The gags keep coming on the first two pages, which are entirely written by James Roberts in order to set up character for More Than Meets the Eye, in particular, Bainstorm (clutching a briefcase) and Chromedome. Who are shown piloting a packed escape pod from Kimia, bickering about the flashing warning lights and how escape pods should be bigger so everyone can escape.
This does neatly show why I’m mot a huge fan of these crossovers using two writers who are neatly divided into just handling “Their” characters, it actively doesn’t read like it’s by the same person who wrote the bulk (I wouldn’t be surprised if Roberts wrote the odd line for his other characters here and there, especially Ratchet pointing out they should have realised Megatron would escape) of the rest of the issue.
It's also not completely clear at this stage, and I can’t remember, if this will have any relevance to this actual story or is just establishing characters and nothing more.
Of course, with Costa as the credited writer, this is... Roberts in disguise.
Still, in the back of the escape pod, we do get our first proper look at Rung, and see Swerve with a damaged and bandaged shoulder. Remember that detail for a good few years hence.
This little diversion ends with Arcee flying in to pick up the escape pod, with Brainstorm telling everyone (especially Swerve) to not make any Jhiaxus jokes to, what Brainstorm calls, the “pink psychopath.”
Which is as close as James Roberts ever came to openly throwing shade at a bit of Simon Furman writing. After this he’ll stay stum on things like “Energon enemas.”
On Cybertron, Cliffjumper appropriately greets Mike Costa taking over the writing again by screaming “FALL BACK!” and running away. From what turns out to be Megatron blasting his way through the Sweeps.
This little diversion ends with Arcee flying in to pick up the escape pod, with Brainstorm telling everyone (especially Swerve) to not make any Jhiaxus jokes to, what Brainstorm calls, the “pink psychopath.”
Which is as close as James Roberts ever came to openly throwing shade at a bit of Simon Furman writing. After this he’ll stay stum on things like “Energon enemas.”
On Cybertron, Cliffjumper appropriately greets Mike Costa taking over the writing again by screaming “FALL BACK!” and running away. From what turns out to be Megatron blasting his way through the Sweeps.
Purple rain.
This double page spread, where everyone is a similar purple and grey colour, with Megatron sitting exactly on the fold of the page and vanishing into it if you’re reading in a thick trade, is the first of several times this issue I struggled to work out what was actually going on. I didn’t have this issue with Livio Ramondelli’s storytelling in the first two parts, so I wonder the deadlines are beginning to tighten too harshly around him.
Sideswipe tries to find a positive to all this: Megatron will kill all the Sweeps and then be too tired to put up much resistance. But there’s a new spanner in the works as Ravage suddenly pounces on him from behind, followed by all the rest of the Starscream led Decepticons.
Now, this is a puzzler considering they’re all meant to be on Earth, and even the Wiki says there’s no explanation for this until John “Continuity” Barber takes care of it in a couple of years and long after any normal person stopped caring. But hold that thought for later in the issue…
Sideswipe tries to find a positive to all this: Megatron will kill all the Sweeps and then be too tired to put up much resistance. But there’s a new spanner in the works as Ravage suddenly pounces on him from behind, followed by all the rest of the Starscream led Decepticons.
Now, this is a puzzler considering they’re all meant to be on Earth, and even the Wiki says there’s no explanation for this until John “Continuity” Barber takes care of it in a couple of years and long after any normal person stopped caring. But hold that thought for later in the issue…
no one expected the Starscream inquisition.
With the Cons are the Constructicons, plus Scrapper’s body. Though him being in vehicle mode means this takes a second work out, it looks like they’re shoving a slab of green about. This adds to Sideswipe’s bad day, as, despite his protestations, they still manage to merge into Devastator, with a corpse for a leg.
Later stories will have to jump through so many hoops to involve Devastator, so it’s retrospectively very funny that Costa produces a very simple, morbid, solution here. One James Roberts clearly liked as he’ll repeat the idea with Defensor, without any real need to, towards the end of Lost Light.
A quick call back to Omega Supreme establishes the big Autobot is in no state to make a retreat to and lets them do the “Dead leg” joke that is both obvious, but that the rest of the issue had left my brain so numb to, I didn’t even click to it being there until Chris McFeely pointed it out on Twitter when I was bemoaning to Umar Ali that the issue didn’t go there.
What the scene also does is have Sideswipe throw out a fast explanation from Jetfire for where the Decepticons came from that feels like the editor inserted it: Somehow, Palpatine has returned.
Later stories will have to jump through so many hoops to involve Devastator, so it’s retrospectively very funny that Costa produces a very simple, morbid, solution here. One James Roberts clearly liked as he’ll repeat the idea with Defensor, without any real need to, towards the end of Lost Light.
A quick call back to Omega Supreme establishes the big Autobot is in no state to make a retreat to and lets them do the “Dead leg” joke that is both obvious, but that the rest of the issue had left my brain so numb to, I didn’t even click to it being there until Chris McFeely pointed it out on Twitter when I was bemoaning to Umar Ali that the issue didn’t go there.
What the scene also does is have Sideswipe throw out a fast explanation from Jetfire for where the Decepticons came from that feels like the editor inserted it: Somehow, Palpatine has returned.
Devastator has no idea who he is.
No, wait… Somehow, the Decepticons built a spacebridge into Megatron that he summoned all the Cons to Cybertron with to reinforce him.
Which isn’t great (and you can see why the Wiki, at the time of writing anyway, missed it), but it does also make the entire issue John Barber devoted to explaining this pointless, because a silly explanation in one sentence is better than a silly explanation over 22 pages.
The real reason for the scene though, is for Sunstreaker to ask Garnak to fetch him all the explosives they have in Omega Supreme.
Meanwhile, Prime, Ironhide and the caught up with them Drift and Rodimus, are at the big hole blown in the planet by Kimia.
Optimus is absolutely convinced that Galvatron is down there, and has, somehow, been changed and needs access to Cybertron’s core. And when Rodimus asks if it’s a trap, Prime simply responds with “Why would that matter?”
Not inspiring much confidence there, Prime.
Back at Omega Supreme, Sunstreaker rides out to meet Devastator, in his hover wheelchair. And we get the best visual gag of the issue, as Bob fights Ravage in the background.
There’s an attempt to make this some sort of penance for Sunstreaker, as he directly compares himself to Devastator, both the cause of hundreds (downplaying it a bit there, mate) of deaths and, even more tenuously, both, as he calls it, “cripples.”
Which isn’t great (and you can see why the Wiki, at the time of writing anyway, missed it), but it does also make the entire issue John Barber devoted to explaining this pointless, because a silly explanation in one sentence is better than a silly explanation over 22 pages.
The real reason for the scene though, is for Sunstreaker to ask Garnak to fetch him all the explosives they have in Omega Supreme.
Meanwhile, Prime, Ironhide and the caught up with them Drift and Rodimus, are at the big hole blown in the planet by Kimia.
Optimus is absolutely convinced that Galvatron is down there, and has, somehow, been changed and needs access to Cybertron’s core. And when Rodimus asks if it’s a trap, Prime simply responds with “Why would that matter?”
Not inspiring much confidence there, Prime.
Back at Omega Supreme, Sunstreaker rides out to meet Devastator, in his hover wheelchair. And we get the best visual gag of the issue, as Bob fights Ravage in the background.
There’s an attempt to make this some sort of penance for Sunstreaker, as he directly compares himself to Devastator, both the cause of hundreds (downplaying it a bit there, mate) of deaths and, even more tenuously, both, as he calls it, “cripples.”
Biblically accurate God.
This falls flat because, though both were involved in All Hail Megatron, but neither interacted and neither was directly complicit in the other’s actions. Running into Bombshell (which, I don’t recall Sunstreaker ever doing after this) would make more sense for a cathartic release of pent-up guilt, this is nothing.
At least till Devastator tries to stomp with him good leg on Sunstreaker and, in another confusing to follow sequence, the Autobots drives off and the wheelchair turns out to be full of explosives, creating a big bang. Though it will turn out not to have killed the other leg, and Devastator still has his fists…
Before he suddenly starts talking in binary code.
In the core, the four Autobots find Galvatron and order him to surrender, which gets a panicked reaction as “It” is almost here.
“It” turns out to be all the Decepticons and all the Sweeps (and “Galvatron’s army,” hey, someone remembered them! That feels like the editor trying to cover again though, there’s no visual evidence of them) all start talking in binary before combining into a giant, purple, horned monster that, apparently—though the name isn’t used here—the “Deceptigod.”
At least till Devastator tries to stomp with him good leg on Sunstreaker and, in another confusing to follow sequence, the Autobots drives off and the wheelchair turns out to be full of explosives, creating a big bang. Though it will turn out not to have killed the other leg, and Devastator still has his fists…
Before he suddenly starts talking in binary code.
In the core, the four Autobots find Galvatron and order him to surrender, which gets a panicked reaction as “It” is almost here.
“It” turns out to be all the Decepticons and all the Sweeps (and “Galvatron’s army,” hey, someone remembered them! That feels like the editor trying to cover again though, there’s no visual evidence of them) all start talking in binary before combining into a giant, purple, horned monster that, apparently—though the name isn’t used here—the “Deceptigod.”
Costa just flat out hated Drift, didn't he?
No wonder Omega Supreme gives up and doesn’t even squeal as the DG knocks him down.
This of course makes bringing the Decepticons to Cybertron in the first place pointless, but that was presumably just because John Barber needs them there for his series.
At the core, Drift starts 010101ing as well, even going as far as to disarm Ironhide, before stabbing himself through the chest to stop going any further.
As well as flat out saying being a Decepticon is in some way genetic (very Simon Furman), you’d expect being confronted by the fact he’s still indistinguishable from his former colleagues would be a deep source of ongoing trauma for him going forward. Especially with his new writer having a guiding hand on the issue.
But, no, this will really never be mentioned again.
Slightly awkwardly, the attempted suicide of Drift in interrupted by a call from Cliffjumper, which in turn gets handed over to a demanding to know where Prime is.
The Autobot leader responds that he’s too busy down Galvatron’s hole, and that he’s now going to have to put his faith in Megatron having always been truthful about what protecting Cybertron means to him.
This of course makes bringing the Decepticons to Cybertron in the first place pointless, but that was presumably just because John Barber needs them there for his series.
At the core, Drift starts 010101ing as well, even going as far as to disarm Ironhide, before stabbing himself through the chest to stop going any further.
As well as flat out saying being a Decepticon is in some way genetic (very Simon Furman), you’d expect being confronted by the fact he’s still indistinguishable from his former colleagues would be a deep source of ongoing trauma for him going forward. Especially with his new writer having a guiding hand on the issue.
But, no, this will really never be mentioned again.
Slightly awkwardly, the attempted suicide of Drift in interrupted by a call from Cliffjumper, which in turn gets handed over to a demanding to know where Prime is.
The Autobot leader responds that he’s too busy down Galvatron’s hole, and that he’s now going to have to put his faith in Megatron having always been truthful about what protecting Cybertron means to him.
Trying so hard.
Which is actually almost a callback to their conversation in Chaos Theory.
Megatron simply responds that he dares to be stupid.
No, wait…
Megatron simply responds that “Nobody stands in my way” as he faces down the DG.
Two Megatron being a melodramatic bitch cliffhangers in a row.
God, this really was a disaster of an issue. The first two halves were shored up by Livio’s art. But, for whatever reason, the drastic drop-off in quality here kills the entire thing and makes the cracks all the more gapping.
There’s one good bit of humour with Bob Vs Ravage, but otherwise this issue is less lively than a combiner corpse leg. And without the personality.
The Deceptigod is stupid, the Sunstreaker redemption is hollow, and James Roberts’ more characterful writing doesn’t really gel with this art style, even at its best.
It’s tired, empty mess of a story by an author who seems to have realised he’s on the way out the door and has stopped caring. For the penultimate part of an epic, it’s a disaster.
Which leaves us with the final part of the other story next week, Spike Confesses.
THE TRANSFORMERS ISSUE 27
2011
COMMENT
KO-FI
Megatron simply responds that he dares to be stupid.
No, wait…
Megatron simply responds that “Nobody stands in my way” as he faces down the DG.
Two Megatron being a melodramatic bitch cliffhangers in a row.
God, this really was a disaster of an issue. The first two halves were shored up by Livio’s art. But, for whatever reason, the drastic drop-off in quality here kills the entire thing and makes the cracks all the more gapping.
There’s one good bit of humour with Bob Vs Ravage, but otherwise this issue is less lively than a combiner corpse leg. And without the personality.
The Deceptigod is stupid, the Sunstreaker redemption is hollow, and James Roberts’ more characterful writing doesn’t really gel with this art style, even at its best.
It’s tired, empty mess of a story by an author who seems to have realised he’s on the way out the door and has stopped caring. For the penultimate part of an epic, it’s a disaster.
Which leaves us with the final part of the other story next week, Spike Confesses.
THE TRANSFORMERS ISSUE 27
2011
COMMENT
KO-FI
