I'm Fixing a Hole Where the Rain Gets in.
Issue 123: Crater Critters: Part 1. 18th July 1987.
If you're going to turn bumper and drive off, why don't you go back now!
You can tell when the British editorial team (which of course at this stage basically means Furman) are less than excited by the latest American story, and the Transformation page this week is as fine an example as you will find. Normally the job of the main bulk of Transformation is to tease the lead comic and make it sound as exciting as possible.
Sometimes mentions of the strip will be downplayed if it's a poor/odd Budiansky one, but I don't think we've yet seen one as bored as this. It doesn't trail the comic, it just does a synopsis of it that makes reading the following 11 pages fairly pointless, and creates the feeling that the author (again, almost certainly Furman) is slightly regretful there isn't a nice competition or new Marvel comic to promote instead.
This is a sign of the increasing divide between the stories Uncle Bob is writing (fun and light and comedic) and the book the UK comic has become (big epic SF adventure), the comic simply doesn't know how to sell these stories to the readers who have embraced the big swirly time travel arc.
The cover is another sign of this, one the one hand it's a great Lee Sullivan piece that not only makes the Triple Changers look menacing but also gives each a distinctive personality. On the other, it's completely at odds with their portrayal in the comic itself, where they're comedy stooges played entirely for laughs.
There will (and indeed have) be times where this keeping of the American series at arm’s length is understandable, here it's something of a shame as this is mostly good fun stuff, but with a surprisingly dark edge that actually pushes it into the black humour territory of 2000AD, an area Furman has also started to play in.
We won't be learning the full nature of what causes a Decepticon freighter to crash in the opening of this issue until next week, but it's more than a bit indebted to The Trouble with Tribbles. However, what would otherwise be a fairly standard story of small critters getting out of control (the Trek episode is the best known example but everyone has done it, including the cartoon with Kremzeek) is given an incredibly creepy edge by Budiansky taking full advantage of the fact that as his leads are robots he can be much more gruesome. Tribbles eat grain, whatever lies within the crashed ship eats- what are to all intents and purposes- people.
Slowly and from the inside out.
This creates a fantastically nasty opening of the Decepticon pilot falling to bits as he tries to crawl out of the crater, a sequence that doesn't seem to come from the same Universe as last week's shenanigans, let alone the same comic.
If you're going to turn bumper and drive off, why don't you go back now!
You can tell when the British editorial team (which of course at this stage basically means Furman) are less than excited by the latest American story, and the Transformation page this week is as fine an example as you will find. Normally the job of the main bulk of Transformation is to tease the lead comic and make it sound as exciting as possible.
Sometimes mentions of the strip will be downplayed if it's a poor/odd Budiansky one, but I don't think we've yet seen one as bored as this. It doesn't trail the comic, it just does a synopsis of it that makes reading the following 11 pages fairly pointless, and creates the feeling that the author (again, almost certainly Furman) is slightly regretful there isn't a nice competition or new Marvel comic to promote instead.
This is a sign of the increasing divide between the stories Uncle Bob is writing (fun and light and comedic) and the book the UK comic has become (big epic SF adventure), the comic simply doesn't know how to sell these stories to the readers who have embraced the big swirly time travel arc.
The cover is another sign of this, one the one hand it's a great Lee Sullivan piece that not only makes the Triple Changers look menacing but also gives each a distinctive personality. On the other, it's completely at odds with their portrayal in the comic itself, where they're comedy stooges played entirely for laughs.
There will (and indeed have) be times where this keeping of the American series at arm’s length is understandable, here it's something of a shame as this is mostly good fun stuff, but with a surprisingly dark edge that actually pushes it into the black humour territory of 2000AD, an area Furman has also started to play in.
We won't be learning the full nature of what causes a Decepticon freighter to crash in the opening of this issue until next week, but it's more than a bit indebted to The Trouble with Tribbles. However, what would otherwise be a fairly standard story of small critters getting out of control (the Trek episode is the best known example but everyone has done it, including the cartoon with Kremzeek) is given an incredibly creepy edge by Budiansky taking full advantage of the fact that as his leads are robots he can be much more gruesome. Tribbles eat grain, whatever lies within the crashed ship eats- what are to all intents and purposes- people.
Slowly and from the inside out.
This creates a fantastically nasty opening of the Decepticon pilot falling to bits as he tries to crawl out of the crater, a sequence that doesn't seem to come from the same Universe as last week's shenanigans, let alone the same comic.
The more mature edge to the usual silliness continues into the rest of the Decepticon half of the plot as we revisit Cybertron and Ratbat's leadership. The auditor is on fine form as he uses glorious management jargon to bemoan the loss of a special package he's sent to Earth as a way of saving the cost efficiency of that operation. He perfectly captures every tiny minded boss you've ever had and the corporate speak used in those "Where have things gone wrong?" meetings. I especially like the idea of a "Low energy cost-space freighter".
After the triple changers get to Earth (via the Ratbat bothering expense of the Space Bridge) the gags become more typical, but are still fun as the dim thugs are too soft in the head to either notice the state of what's left of the pilot or listen to his warnings about getting too close. It's tremendously satisfying to see their bully bravado undercut by something jumping off the pilot and infecting them.
The real problem this week is over with the Autobots, as Blaster becomes the complete and utter git that will define him for the rest of his time as a main character. Despite the fact they're running from Grimlock's tyranny he's now bossing Goldbug about in a far worse way, constantly mocking and undermining his supposed friend as they try and make contact with G.B. Blackrock (back for the first time since Christmas).
This is also where Blaster's obsession with his Dead Best Friend really kicks in as he delivers an angry monologue about Scrounge to Blackrock when he dares suggest that these two scary, shouting robots might not be friendly. Still, now Goldbug has nearly had his head bitten off by Blaster for being surprised at the idea of leaving a comrade behind to die, I'm sure that if the situation arises where Goldbug must abandon Blaster no doubt the Wolverine wannabe will perfectly understand.
After the triple changers get to Earth (via the Ratbat bothering expense of the Space Bridge) the gags become more typical, but are still fun as the dim thugs are too soft in the head to either notice the state of what's left of the pilot or listen to his warnings about getting too close. It's tremendously satisfying to see their bully bravado undercut by something jumping off the pilot and infecting them.
The real problem this week is over with the Autobots, as Blaster becomes the complete and utter git that will define him for the rest of his time as a main character. Despite the fact they're running from Grimlock's tyranny he's now bossing Goldbug about in a far worse way, constantly mocking and undermining his supposed friend as they try and make contact with G.B. Blackrock (back for the first time since Christmas).
This is also where Blaster's obsession with his Dead Best Friend really kicks in as he delivers an angry monologue about Scrounge to Blackrock when he dares suggest that these two scary, shouting robots might not be friendly. Still, now Goldbug has nearly had his head bitten off by Blaster for being surprised at the idea of leaving a comrade behind to die, I'm sure that if the situation arises where Goldbug must abandon Blaster no doubt the Wolverine wannabe will perfectly understand.
However, Blaster's contempt for Goldbug is as nothing to their joint bullying of Blackrock, ruining his date with threats of violence (Goldbug taunting the human by going to run over his foot is actually far worse than anything we'll ever see the supposedly uncaring Grimlock do), making him fill Goldbug up with fuel, tell them all about anything that seems a bit Decepticon-ey going on in the area and then abandoning him in a deserted part of the city in the middle of the night.
Their treatment of humans, if anything, gets worse from here on in. Thanks to Blackrock they find out about the "meteor" that landed and is now emitting radio waves (as detecting radio transmissions is one of Blaster's special skills this seems to make the Blackrock sequence entirely pointless, but to be fair it's more about re-establishing him and setting up some foreshadowing for a future story), and arrive there to find a team of geologists being kept away from the crater by the U.S. army due to the arrival of the Triple Changes.
Needing a human to provide a distraction to get past the troopers they approach student Charlie Fong and emotionally blackmail him into risking his life on their behalf ("I could force you to help us if I wanted to..."), another level Grimlock has yet to descend to. From the British perspective there's also going to be some déjà vu over Goldbug getting involved with a geologist again.
Fong- who is like Death's Head as he's a character created for Transformers who'll go onto appear in another Marvel book (though with Bob's love of reusing names it's hard to be completely sure if the Charlie Fong in Sleepwalkers is really the same guy as here, he probably had a perky blonde girlfriend called Charlene as well) - is therefore guilted into bluffing his way past a soldier by pretending Goldbug is his car and Blaster is some sort of technobabble equipment.
Amazingly, despite having orders to let no one pass, the soldier decides to let Fong through and pretend he hasn't seen him because he's such a horrible racist that meeting a brave Japanese American has moved him into deep admiration for the "Little" man. Seriously, that’s what his two thought bubbles imply. It's safe to say this makes for an odd cliffhanger.
Despite my problems with the Autobot side of things this is still a very entertaining Budiansky issue that sees a return to form after the Mechanic misadventures. It's not Earth shattering stuff, but makes for a likeable read and has some nice nightmarish imagery. Don Perlin also gets props for drawing Ratbat hanging upside down throughout.
As a totally random fact, this issue seems to be named after some Australian made toys that were given away in packs of Kellogg’s in both America and Britain until the late 70's. The more you know.
Their treatment of humans, if anything, gets worse from here on in. Thanks to Blackrock they find out about the "meteor" that landed and is now emitting radio waves (as detecting radio transmissions is one of Blaster's special skills this seems to make the Blackrock sequence entirely pointless, but to be fair it's more about re-establishing him and setting up some foreshadowing for a future story), and arrive there to find a team of geologists being kept away from the crater by the U.S. army due to the arrival of the Triple Changes.
Needing a human to provide a distraction to get past the troopers they approach student Charlie Fong and emotionally blackmail him into risking his life on their behalf ("I could force you to help us if I wanted to..."), another level Grimlock has yet to descend to. From the British perspective there's also going to be some déjà vu over Goldbug getting involved with a geologist again.
Fong- who is like Death's Head as he's a character created for Transformers who'll go onto appear in another Marvel book (though with Bob's love of reusing names it's hard to be completely sure if the Charlie Fong in Sleepwalkers is really the same guy as here, he probably had a perky blonde girlfriend called Charlene as well) - is therefore guilted into bluffing his way past a soldier by pretending Goldbug is his car and Blaster is some sort of technobabble equipment.
Amazingly, despite having orders to let no one pass, the soldier decides to let Fong through and pretend he hasn't seen him because he's such a horrible racist that meeting a brave Japanese American has moved him into deep admiration for the "Little" man. Seriously, that’s what his two thought bubbles imply. It's safe to say this makes for an odd cliffhanger.
Despite my problems with the Autobot side of things this is still a very entertaining Budiansky issue that sees a return to form after the Mechanic misadventures. It's not Earth shattering stuff, but makes for a likeable read and has some nice nightmarish imagery. Don Perlin also gets props for drawing Ratbat hanging upside down throughout.
As a totally random fact, this issue seems to be named after some Australian made toys that were given away in packs of Kellogg’s in both America and Britain until the late 70's. The more you know.
Transformation isn't just concerned with saving you the bother of reading the comic, the sidebar also reveals that Inhumanoids won't be returning after all. Interestingly, as the book is generally careful to ignore the fact a lot of its content comes from America these days, the blame for this is entirely laid upon Marvel U.S. for not keeping them properly informed that the book was cancelled. We're instead promised some present day Iron Man to fill the gap between the current backup and the start of Headmasters.
Grimlock still doesn't seem quite right, refusing to answer a question from Gary Rippon of Bude about what Galvatron's Big Gun was going to wind up buried under despite covering this in a previous letters page. Either Furman is taking a long holiday or he's trying a bit too hard to have Grimgrams reflect the Dinobot's current comic personality. Either way, it seems "I'm not psychic/clairvoyant" is going to be a stock answer to any questions involving the future cast.
In the non -suddenly canned by Marvel U.S. backup, the Iron Man of 2020 and Spider-Man finally meet, and of course they have a fight thanks to a misunderstanding as is always the way with these things. It has to be said Spider-Man is the one to blame for this as, from his point of view, he comes round a corner to see what looks like Iron Man giving an eye examination to a child. Unless he had particular issues with Tony Stark at this point attacking him rather than just going up and asking "Watcha up too?" seems an overreaction. Still, the Blizzard is huge fun, a third rate super villain who is deeply pissed off at the way all the heroes ignore him.
Next week, I could well be writing this in a UK that has lost the Scotland part of itself (at this point on Thursday night it could still go either way), as a symbolic tribute to this the second half of the story will see Goldbug break away from the overbearing domination of Blaster. See you in seven, och aye.
[UPDATE: By the time it came for this to go live the Scots Decided that the Grimlock that is David Cameron was a safer bet than the Blaster that is Alex Salmond. Which is fair enough, never trust a man who can't spell Salmon.]
ISSUE 122
1987
COMMENT
Grimlock still doesn't seem quite right, refusing to answer a question from Gary Rippon of Bude about what Galvatron's Big Gun was going to wind up buried under despite covering this in a previous letters page. Either Furman is taking a long holiday or he's trying a bit too hard to have Grimgrams reflect the Dinobot's current comic personality. Either way, it seems "I'm not psychic/clairvoyant" is going to be a stock answer to any questions involving the future cast.
In the non -suddenly canned by Marvel U.S. backup, the Iron Man of 2020 and Spider-Man finally meet, and of course they have a fight thanks to a misunderstanding as is always the way with these things. It has to be said Spider-Man is the one to blame for this as, from his point of view, he comes round a corner to see what looks like Iron Man giving an eye examination to a child. Unless he had particular issues with Tony Stark at this point attacking him rather than just going up and asking "Watcha up too?" seems an overreaction. Still, the Blizzard is huge fun, a third rate super villain who is deeply pissed off at the way all the heroes ignore him.
Next week, I could well be writing this in a UK that has lost the Scotland part of itself (at this point on Thursday night it could still go either way), as a symbolic tribute to this the second half of the story will see Goldbug break away from the overbearing domination of Blaster. See you in seven, och aye.
[UPDATE: By the time it came for this to go live the Scots Decided that the Grimlock that is David Cameron was a safer bet than the Blaster that is Alex Salmond. Which is fair enough, never trust a man who can't spell Salmon.]
ISSUE 122
1987
COMMENT